I started this blog a month or two ago and the single biggest question is from guys asking how they can get their girlfriends or wives to lock them up. I decided to put some ideas together but please remember that this is not about your little fetish, this is about her and what she wants. If she says no, don’t pester her. Bring this up once every six months tops and try a different approach each time. The last things he wants to hear is her guys latest fetish over and over again. Most of my articles are written for her but this one is written specifically for the guy that wants to be locked up.
- Explain to her that this is not something kinky. Tell her it’s because you love her and think it will bring you closer together.
- Find some erotic male chastity stories that are somewhat realistic and romantic, and show them to her. Perhaps the two of you can read them together as foreplay. If you find good ones, please send them my way and I can link them here.
- Tell her that you are concerned you are not being the best husband you can be. Explain to her that male chastity is about her feelings and not yours.
- Show her some of the many articles online that explain that male chastity is romantic and designed to ensure you will stay together forever. Tell her you want this because you value your relationship and want to grow old with her.
- Be honest and tell her exactly how often you masturbate. Explain to her that you can’t help it, and let her know how ashamed you are. Mention that you think about other women when you do it, but you want to only think of her whenever you are sexually stimulated.
- Let her know that you are sometimes tempted to stray. Reassure her that you don’t really want to stray, but confess that you are weak – as all men are. Tell her you are worried that if you are not locked up, you will one day cheat on her and ruin your relationship.
- If you have a small penis, tell her you want to learn other ways to please her that don’t involve penetration. Explain that as long as your penis is free, you are driven to mount her – even though you know she’d be much happier with hours of oral sex.
- Remind her that once you are locked up, she’ll never have to give you a blowjob again. Tell her you’ve had enough, and it’s time for you to be the one on your knees.
- Explain that once you are locked up you’ll be motivated to do more around the house – and ask her what chores she would like you to take over once you are in chastity.
- Discuss how you’ll be forced to sit down to pee while locked up, and how this will make your bathroom floor much cleaner. It will also give you an extra moment or two to reflect on how important she is to your life.
- She should know that once you are locked up she would be in control of the situation. If she only wants you locked up for a few hours at a time, that’s fine. If she wants you locked up for a month, you’ll also agree to that. The point is she has to understand she can make the rules and keep you in chastity any way that feels comfortable for her.
- Tell her this doesn’t mean she has to give up penetration. Talk to her about how it can actually make penetrative sex hotter for both of you. Explain that having sex with her need not include you ejaculating. Separating your ejaculation from sex will ensure that sex is truly about her and her needs.
- Finally, and this is the most important part, tell her how much you love her and that you desire this because of your deep and abiding adoration of her.
Priestess Emma – Just read So you Want Her to Lock you Up. We haven’t gotten to that point yet but maybe soon.
Elise Sutton has some good true-life lockup stories that, in each case, benefitted both Her and him.
i’m just starting to, rather clumsily, navigate Your site. my Queen and Her
guy will no doubt learn a lot, and also give some to You and Your members.
Hi there Guy!
Just to be clear. I am not a priestess, queen or dominatrix or any of those things. I don’t really think a relationship should be female-led or femdom. Just a healthy mutually beneficial relationship that is not dominated by male hormones. Welcome to the site and thank you for reading.
Dear Emma, In Your June 2020 reply to my comment, You said You’re not
into Femdom or FLR. i was surprised; after reading How Pegging Makes Me Feel and So You Want Her to Lock you
Up, i thought you were gung-ho FFLR.
You used delicious phrases such as “She is running the show”, “(She) wants to enjoy his submission”, “She’s mostly getting off on fucking you”, etc.
Perhaps You’re saying that it’s exciting to be FLR when She’s pegging but not when She and he are having
non-peg sex? That’s one way to do it. As for “The Queen” and me, She is in near-total control of us; we’re both glad i’m all Hers!
For the website trekkerscrapbook.com, its creator is
Therese; for fun, She likes to be called High Priestess (a Vulcan term) Therese — but She is fine with just plain Therese. myself, i love it when Supremacy terms and Femcaps are used for a Woman. Whatever turns you on!
Thanks, Emma, for Your fun and informative blog. Sincerely, guy
When we started this journey, I felt like we needed to be all-in to the lifestyle or not at all. We tried pegging, spankings, and everything else. We tried to lead the femdom lifestyle but it wasn’t for us. We pick and choose which aspects and attributes that we want. As time goes on and we learn more about each other, I think this is the healthiest approach. I affectionately call what we’ve got a female led partnership. We are a team, we are equal but when things are equal and can’t come to a decision we defer to my judgement. We also find that males and females are not inherently equal due to subconscious hormonal urges and unintentional manipulation on his part. The femdom aspects that we’ve chosen to embrace simply even the playing field for us. Hopefully that helps explain where we are coming from.