So how often should he be allowed to cum?
Traditional Chinese medicine teaches the following:
“A man may attain health and longevity if he practices an ejaculation frequency of twice monthly or 24 times a year. If at the same time he pays careful attention to proper diet and exercise he will have a long healthy life.” link
The longer text (yes, I read it all) states that men should ejaculate about 20-30% of the time that they have sexual intercourse. For those bad at math, that is 2-3 times for every ten times. Additionally, men older than 50 should not ejaculate more than once every 20 days. Men over 60 should not ejaculate more than once every 100 days. The rules keep coming but they also base ejaculation on the seasons with no ejaculations during winter, no more than twice a month during summer and autumn and no more than every 3 days during spring.
Lots of rules here and while I am no practitioner of eastern medicine I do agree with some of their findings. I don’t think that you need to make his ejaculation into a science but I do think the daily jerking needs to stop.
It does make a distinction that sex needn’t be reduced, sex can be as frequent as his partner wishes (thank goodness) but the frequency he is permitted an orgasm should be controlled. Sex without ejaculation does take some practice but it isn’t long before he looks to you for permission before cumming or knows that ejaculation should almost never accompany sex as is the understanding that I have with my boyfriend. Some of male sexual conditioning is unconscious in nature but we all know when our guy is getting close. We just need to slow him down and let him take a breather, he can usually try again when he isn’t so worked up or you can end sex and direct him to perform oral on you.
Testosterone increases nearly 155% when a man doesn’t ejaculate for just seven days which is why we typically schedule our ejaculations 7 days apart. Lower testosterone levels are attributed to lower overall health and dementia in men so there are plenty of reasons to keep your guy healthy by limiting keeping his creative juices under control.
For the first day, he will act normal with his cage being a mere annoyance. Typically the second or third day he will be cranky or irritable. This is the period when this goes from a fetishy game to a lifestyle and he starts to understand that he is not in control. While it may be annoying at first, I’ve learned to laugh it off now that I know the science behind what is going on.
Have not had my testosterone level check for about 3 years. At that time (I was 57) erections were functional but not as strong. When I brought that up to my urologist she checked (I believe my free testosterone levels) and I fell in the acceptable range. I think it was to be between 400 and 1100 and I was like 410. Anyway she told me softer erections were part of the aging process and prescribed tadafil as needed. It helped a little and we decided that was just how it was going to be.
Anyway when we started locking me up 4 months ago I quit taking tadafil. Just seemed counter intuitive. In the last 4 months I have been allowed to cum 6 times. Only 2 orgasms by the way. Long way of saying about 2 months into lock up the erections of my youth came back. We don’t think it is the excitement of being unlocked as I was released 3 or 4 times in the first 2 months and the softer erection was still a deal.
From what we have read weak erections can be caused by low T and since I was on the very low side of acceptable it just seems reasonable that the decreased ejaculations have increased my T levels. Thus strengthening my erections. You can add that to your list of benefits of chasity.
I go back for my yearly in February and am going to ask them to test my levels mostly out of curiosity.
I’ve read on several sites that, especially older men, benefit from fewer orgasms. The theory goes that testosterone levels are not restored as quickly as we age. So, extending the period between orgasms not only helps keep T levels higher (several benefits to this) but the dopamine levels that surge when we do orgasm are avoided. This latter benefit is what allows men retain higher interest/devotion to their partner. I can attest to this.
Another related article – I think it was also citing a Japanese study – suggests that men over a certain age (50ish, I think?) should only orgasm once every 3-4 months. For most men, I think it would be difficult to wait this long without their partner enforcing their chastity with a cage.
I allow my husband to cum about once every 6 to 8 weeks. He gets to cum around that time because the benefits for me of the hormones he gets from not cumming start to diminish by that time. He becomes less attentive and the need to cum starts to consume him to the point that he’s awake all night. He always begs me not to give him release, but as we’re playing this game for my benefit I do it in order to start the cycle again.
That is a bit longer than we normally go. Do you use a cage or do you use the “honor” system?
We use the honor system. We have a cage but it is not suitable for long term wear.
@mrs_lilithwell, you are doing so well
We have so many men here who want such a woman who knows what she is doing and uses it properly, not taking advantage of it
I have to admit that I’ve not actually taken a note of how often he gets to cum these days but I’m guessing that it’s about once a month.Like @Mrs_Lilith’s husband, mine doesn’t want to cum often, which is why his release is often a ‘ruined’ orgasm (I know there’s a debate about what one of those is, but I mean one where his cum doesn’t shoot out but oozes).He has suffered from erectile dysfunction, but when I do unlock him for edging or an orgasm it does seem stronger than before.
I get 5 orgasms a month, but do a 10 day period each month with no orgasms.
Interesting. What is the significance of that 10 day period? Is it aligned with her menstrual cycle or with the calendar?
We don’t have sex much at all anymore due to her health issue, maybe 5 or 6 times a year. When we first stopped having regular sex, like once or twice a week, she told me I could masturbate. I did for a while, but she said I was being a pervert doing it 3 or 4 times a week and needed to cut down. She said about her limit was twice a week and it would be nice to have a week off occasionally.
She has never been one to talk about sex a lot, but we did talk about this. She asked me to cut down to no more than twice a week and I offered to take a week off once a month. I am locked up during that 7 to 10 day period to give her a break form anything sexual. I never masturbate without her knowledge, she usually lays down with me.
We do the same time of the month each month. Easier to keep up with that way. I enjoy it too, we still snuggle, kiss etc. just don’t do anything sexual. We both enjoy it.
We are still sticking to your advice (weekly). Occasionally, there is a miss and we end up going a bit short or a bit long.
the benefitof the ruined orgasm has been my keyholder’s favorite discovery in our newer caged FLR. We have been practicing my being caged for nearly 3 months. Ours may be unique as I am still the dominant in nearly every aspect of our lives except for the bedroom. As for the ruined orgasm she likes the frustration it brings to me while satisfying our agreed milking schedule.
Due to the fact there seems to be virtually no refectory period I often “get” to come (no orgasm) 3 or more times per session. Maybe bragging here but her record with me is 7 ejaculation in on session. (We have discovered Zinc and plenty of hydration are key to volume)
That number doesn’t feel like boasting to me as I did little physically and got no enjoyment. Although my member seems to be at a more heightened sense of arousal on a permanent basis Now which is a good feeling.
We had an agreed milking schedule at my insistence as I thought I was guaranteeing some relief on a regular basis. I Now want to stick to that schedule for almost the opposite reason. However she wants to renegotiate for more frequency with no limits and I am arguing we need to stick to our agreement.
Right now we are at a stalemate as I want an orgasm a couple of times a year to be include and she can ruin as much as she wants otherwise. She is hold firm with her no. Says she does not need to renegotiate as our original agreement only said “at least” x number of times. So she is already doing it as often as she wants.
“….. her record with me is 7 ejaculation in on session.”
7 is a pretty impressive number my friend but I can totally understand how it is possible. You’re right, there is no refractory period following a properly executed ruined orgasm, which is an incredible benefit to a Dominant Wife in a WLM because she doesn’t have to deal with a pouty, droopy husband.
Your right, that is unique. Do you ever find that your dominance outside the bedroom tends to take over in the bedroom, even though you both want otherwise?
I used to get milked and be on a monthly schedule, but Ms. K. just felt that it was too much work and that it really did nothing more than make her a fetish peddler for me. How frequent is your milking and what method is used to extract your semen from your body during milking?
Our agreement was at least 1 every 15 days. Sometimes released sometimes while remain caged. Can’t ejaculate from prostate stimulation alone so always involved penile stimulation. Sometimes with butt play sometimes not.
Now that she finds ruining orgasms so entertaining the longest has been 4 days without. Always ungaged anymore but immediately locked back up when she is done. She seems to enjoy cunnilingus more and orgasms easier after her teasing session with me. Sometimes it is a struggle to make everything fit promptly and there is some uncomfortable forcing but she requires I be cage before pleasuring her. We tried ice but seems to have no effect.
As far as my dominance outside the bedroom leaking back in, not so far but again we are newer. I actually hope and wish her bedroom dominance expands into other aspects of our life. I try to do or help with housework as much as possible but she is content with our arrangement for now.
@Peterran You can sort of ejaculate from prostate simulation. It does not always happen to me but a few times I had a very strong orgasm and a small amount of fluid came out of my penis. It didn’t come out with force but just kind of dripped down. Also, it was clear as water and a little thick. It wasn’t like semen.
You sick sick people. Both partners ought to orgasm EVERY time they have sex and if they dont its ok but to inhibit your partners orgasm is a perverse thing. wow
You seem pretty upset. I’ve told you my thoughts, maybe you can expand on why you feel the way that you do. The definition of perverse is willfully determined to go against what is expected or desired. With that being said, I can’t disagree that what I propose is perverse but perhaps choosing to go against what society considers to be normal isn’t a bad thing all of the time. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.
I found this article and the comments to be a very interesting read, since most of the material I’ve seen on it previously was mainly written from a male fetish perspective. The scientifically supported female point of view of controlling ejaculation in order to make her male most useful to her is something I would really like to take on board.
That is a real game changer I believe. While I think I am doing reasonably well in treating my release as subordinate to a woman’s pleasure, taking it out of the equation completely would take that outlook even further, if not transcend it.
In answer to your comment and as follow up to my Jan. comment on this subject don’t wait to add this into your lifestyle.
In 6 months our attitudes going into my chastity and subsequent releases have evolved into a great increase in our intimacy and our sexuality.
We really only practice wlr in the bedroom but it has bled into my attitudes towards serving her everywhere. I find myself doing what ever I can to please her although that really was not the goal going in. I bet I had not done dishes or vacuumed in 30+ years. Now it has more or less become my job without her even asking.
In the bedroom it has totally become about her pleasure first which has led to much more frequency. I get to, YES I MEAN GET TO, go down on her every night. We had originally set a schedule for my releases per suggestions on various sights. That has gone out the window. I get released at least once a week often times 3 or more times per week. Very rarely for PIV or my orgasm. However I get frequent teasing and frequent ruined orgasms which I have come to embrace.
Don’t put it off. Jump in!
Last year I was allowed to cum 12 times…Most of them were me masturbating for my Wife(KH). She may give me 3-4 full orgasms a year, but most a ruined. Due to my Wife’s age, I have not had PIV sex in 10 years. At this stage, I really don’t care how I get to cum, as long as my Wife allows me to, I’ll do what ever it takes…
I’m allowed 3-4 full-on orgasms a year and perhaps another 4-6 ejaculations via a ruined orgasms.
Is there a debate about ruined orgasms? Ms. K incorporates ruined orgasms for most of my ejaculations precisely because although there is an ejaculation, there is NO orgasm and as such, there is not emotional attachment or arousal decline.
I get it that some couple don’t know or understand the why’s and how’s of ruined orgasms and so therefore don’t use them, but for us at least, they are an invaluable tool for maintaining the benefits that orgasm control/semen retention/chastity in our WLM. There simply is no “drop” associated with with a full orgasm. Another benefit to ruined orgasms is that men (some men I guess) can have as many as 3-4 ruined orgasms in a single session whereas most men cannot or won’t want to feel like going again after a full orgasm.