What Kind of Man

What kind of man allows a woman to lock up his penis? Why on earth would he subject himself to this sort of treatment? This kind of humiliation? Emasculation? A “real man” would never let someone do this to him.

First off, many men feel enslaved to their penis and to their sex drive. Think of the recent celebrities that have been in the spotlight. Cosby, Louis C.K. etc etc. These men are very intelligent and made some very poor decisions based upon choices that were made merely to fulfill sexual desire.

In my opinion, a real man isn’t defined by his penis he is defined by his actions. A real man is a good husband, a good father, a good person. Allowing someone to help guide him to positive behavior is simply accepting help in an area that by your very nature is weak. If he can allow his wife to guide him in this one area, the entire relationship will glow. He needs her strength after their lovemaking sessions to ensure that he stays true to his agreement with her. Although different and strange to some, there should be nothing humiliating and emasculating here. The man is putting his wife first and allowing her a level of sexual enjoyment that other women would beg for. There are some fetishes that involve humiliation but that depends on the couple and we can save that for a different conversation.


I admittedly only know a handful of guys who are caged or have been caged in the past because it isn’t something that couples openly discuss with others. I personally wish the taboo for this practice would go away because I feel like it is a legitimate way for women to help guide their man on a successful path. Part of the reason that I wanted to create this blog is to try and do my little part to help take things a bit more mainstream.

Traits of a man who benefits be being guided in this manner:


  • High energy and sex drive
  • Large disparity between the sex drive of he and his significant other
  • High self confidence
  • Low self confidence
  • Works in an environment where he is in charge, admired or has sway within his organization
  • Works in an environment with lots of interaction with females
  • Has a penis

Here are a couple profiles of specific guys that I know who have really thrived with a bit of shall we say “cage guidance” or “cage assistive therapy”.

The Men

The Boss

The boss is in charge of a large group of employees at work, is admired by many, feared by some and has no trouble asserting himself at work. He has power and influence at work and may come home thinking that he can be the boss at home. A cage will help him remain balanced at home and help keep the dynamics of home and work separate. Frequent work travel may be a challenge here if it involves flying.

Middle Management

The middle management guy is a great candidate for this sort of assistive therapy. This will give him the drive at work and allow him to focus his efforts on moving up the corporate ladder. Taking the focus away from his penis will help to ensure that he doesn’t get distracted by flirting with co-workers or getting himself into situations that might jeopardize his career.

The Musician/Artist

A guy who is on stage with respected skills that women find interesting is quite dangerous. If female attention is readily available then temptation can arise especially if he travels frequently.

The Submissive Man

The submissive man is a guy who is more in touch with his feelings and more self aware of the way his masturbation habits are impacting his actions and desires in your relationship.


Sometimes the guy needs a bit of a boost to help motivate him. This little trick is the best thing to help the guy who sits on the couch and plays video games all day. Give this a go if you would like him to lose a few pounds, go to the gym or even get a job. You can be as straightforward as “If you lose 5lbs, you get a release”.


The Women

Here are a couple profiles of women who are great candidates for locking things down in their household.

Stay at Home Mom

The stay at home mom can feel bored at home, can feel powerless with her husband at work.

The Professional Woman

The professional woman is used to being in charge at work, she is capable of asserting herself and demands respect. She is used to getting her way and this helps her ensure that her household runs the way she expects it to.

The OCD Woman

She wants things to be her way, she wants all of her things to be in the right order. She wants to know when things are happening and she needs it all to be on her terms.


Note that homosexual couples also find great benefit so my intention is not to exclude anyone. The focus of my blog is on heterosexual couples because that is what I know but I’d love to get some perspective on the gay perspective. 

Which of these profiles do you see in yourself? How about your significant other? Write a quick introduction about yourself and tell us.



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I fit the build on many of these items.

High sex drive
Large disparity between the sex drive of he and his significant other
(Sometimes) Low self confidence
Works in an environment where he is in charge, admired or has sway within his organization
(sometimes) Works in an environment with lots of interaction with females
Has a penis

Now I am not locked all the time, but only specific times where I’m away from my wife and she knows I need the control. I like what you said “Allowing someone to help guide him to positive behavior is simply accepting help in an area that by your very nature is weak. ” – this describes me to the T. I know I’m weak in this area, and NEED help, and why wouldn’t I be willing to humble myself and allow someone who I love, adore and trust the most to help me? It makes perfect sense. At one time this bothered me a little, especially because there are parts of my marriage where I am still the leader. But I’ve accepted and made my peace with my weaknesses while still striving to do better with them, and this way works perfectly. Plus, I love the symbolism of it all as a way to charge the eroticism. Great post!


Thank you for such an interesting insight into the effects of ejaculate control. As a submissive Male looking for long term lock up and strict orgasm control it will be helpful for myself and my wife in understanding the change in moods and behaviours at different times between releases



Hello I am new, Single man.
I have a question, maybe I am not doing it right or not trying hard as I should.
I have been trying to lock my self up for several weeks, even tried different sizes. Once caged I even try to pull it off.
But then in the middle of the day my balls just slip out, like the shrink the last few hours. I have bought the smallest ring size (35mm) do they make a smaller one?
Any help please


Hi, I’m no expert by any means. In fact I came here looking for help too just a few weeks ago.
But as for cages and sizes and all that I have eight of them…
The last one I had bought months ago in anticipation of maybe trying one of those paid for Dom sites. (life changed dramatically though)
Anyway .. I bought a remote controlled one and it came with two rings. I’m not huge by any means and even the biggest ring was too tight. There’s quite a few posts around the net saying the same thing. But… if a 35mm is too big for you, you might want to check this one out, I can’t imagine it’s small ring being escapable by anyone other than someone from Lillyput, probably not even then. I literally took a blow torch and pry-bar to modify mine so it would fit. The company is called Qiui , the there’s 2 cages.. don’t get the old one ( I don’t remember what its called ) get the Cellmate one if you decide to try it.
Also.. there’s two sizes.. large and regular. I’m uncut and in the regular one and it is quite comfortable thankfully. So you may want to go that route as well.
I hope you find something useful in my post, I’m trying to repay all the great advice I got here in some small way.

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