So much of the material that you find on the internet about male submission and female dominance tends to minimize the value of the submissive man. If a man shows his feelings, he is somehow less valuable than a “macho” man. Boys are still taught to suppress their emotions and the boys that show emotions are valued less than the boys who express themselves. I wholeheartedly reject the alpha-male, beta-male concept entirely.
Traditional men are seen as conquering women and moving on to the next until they grow weary of the sexual conquests and settle for a woman that checks all the boxes. Submissive men are typically serial monogamists that seek to honor and become friends with their woman without “conquering” them. Submissive men seek to avoid the traditional power struggle from a relationship since they desire to be supportive and devoted.
As a society, we minimize these men who seek to bring value and loving submission to a relationship. These men crave women that make relationship decisions for them. A submissive man searches for a woman suitable of his loving devotion and dedicates himself to her. The femdom stereotype seeks to suggest that a woman should degrade the man and make him feel that he is worthless. This is remarkably easy to do since the submissive man takes the majority of his self worth and relationship validation from his ability to please his woman.
I would argue that a woman’s responsibility with a submissive man is to build him up and support his submission inasmuch as she feels comfortable. If he wishes to give foot massages every night, do all of the housework and take care of the children – who are we to say that this is not normal or acceptable in our society?
So much of the dominant female stereotype suggests that submissive men should be locked, cuckolded and cast aside for another, stronger more virile man. I personally believe that as submissive man does not equal a weaker man. A man can be both submissive and strong just as a dominant man may be weak. My father, for instance was a submissive man at home.
Much of the profile that I wrote about in my article entitled The Boss was about my father. Without repeating that entire article, my father was a man who was in charge at work but came home and recognized my mother’s authority in the home. My mother’s authority while loving was the final say at home. I feel that I was lucky to have role models like my parents. My father passed a few years ago but my mother and I have discussed this topic and she said that a female led household was very common in their generation. Today, it seems that a female led household is frowned upon and the man is seen as weak where I say they are strong.
I’ve been in relationships with dominant men and the power struggle is absolutely exhausting. It is like two selfish children “I want, I want”. My submissive boyfriend, Kevin had a previous relationship with a submissive woman and found it equally as dysfunctional. Nobody was capable or interested in making decisions so nothing ever got done. If the following dialog sounds familiar, you may have been there too:
Where do you want to go?
I don’t know, where do you want to go?
I don’t know, I asked you first.
Let’s just stay home.
My point with this is to embrace a submissive man and find his inherent value. Just because he is submissive does not make him any less of a man. Aside from some very light teasing, we do very little humiliation in our household. I urge you to steer clear of degrading, humiliating and diminishing the worth of your submissive male. Although I’ve had requests for cuckolding articles, this isn’t something that we currently are interested or experienced in so you won’t find it here.
Now is where I make a very fine distinction between a man who is a doormat and a man who is merely submissive. I think we’ve all been in relationships where the guy will literally do anything for you. We sometimes request more and more absurd things just to see what we can get away with. The essential thing is that you both want to be with one another but neither of you is afraid of life without the other. The moment that one partner is doing submissive acts out of fear of losing the other, the tone of the relationship has turned to desperation. As a woman, when you sense neediness and desperation you will grow distant and repulsed.
What we need is a submissive man who is confident in his submission, confident that you are the person for him and not insecure about losing you. This man is in touch with his feelings and not afraid to share how he is feeling or ask you for a hug on a rough day. This may seem like an impossible group of traits but I assure you, it isn’t. If you don’t see these traits in your submissive man, start developing them now. You can work with him to help develop his feelings with sensitive acts like pegging and spanking, acts that evoke emotion-driven conversation. Explain that you need more than to be placed on his pedestal and worshiped. You are looking for a partner and a friend who chooses to be submissive to you and serve you in the context of your relationship.
One typically has a very clear understanding of which gender they are most attracted to. Consider that as with sexuality, know if we are attracted to a dominant or submissive mate. I would describe sexuality across two different spectrums. Which gender(s) are you most attracted to? Do you desire a partner that is dominant to you or submissive to you? When shopping for a guy, consider that these are traits that you might not be able to change about someone.
For more, here are some profiles of people that will benefit from a female led relationship.