Alright maybe men aren’t boring but monogamy can get boring. Our entire lives we are taught that we need to find our prince charming, marry him with some big extravagant wedding and live happily ever after. Our husband should be our best friend and our soulmate. That one man should be our only sexual partner for the rest of our lives. Despite society telling us that monogamy is the only way that a woman can respectively have sex, it isn’t how we are wired. Long term relationships are safe and comfortable but our bodies simply aren’t wired for them.
You probably think I am going to start making a case for polyandry or cuckolding or something like that. I’m not. I actually love the idea behind society’s relationship partnership concept. Maybe I’ve been brainwashed or don’t know better but I just like the idea of feeling comfortable with finding my “one”. Even if you sometimes feel like you may not be wired that way, it is important to figure out how to keep sex with the same guy interesting. I will say that the “newness” of a relationship is enticing. The butterflies, the unknown, the new touch, the new smells, everything. How can you recreate those without venturing out to a different lover?
If you haven’t already figured it out, I love figuring out how to manipulate the way our bodies are wired to increase happiness and relationship success. This article is about figuring out what we can do to manipulate our bodies into being happy with this one-man concept. It is a fact that women get bored in bed faster than men do. Newsweek recently published an article stating that moving in with your boyfriend can kill your sex drive. So what is a lady to do?
Let’s mix things up a bit! I think much of this comfortability is to blame. When men get comfortable, they stop courting us. Since our sex drive is strongly driven by emotions, we stop getting our emotional needs met. We need to constantly be the object of their affection and planning a weekly date night just doesn’t cut it. Remember what we did at the beginning of our relationship? Remember what we did when you were trying to win my affection? At the beginning of the relationship, he was submissive to us.
Let’s start with why the courtship was there in the first place. He wanted sex! It doesn’t matter if sex happened on the first for fifty first date, we controlled when sex happened. That gives us the obvious conclusion that courtship was driven by sexual desire. If courtship was driven by sexual desire, how do we get that sexual desire back? We create sexual desire by taking control of his orgasms! With focused sexual desire, we can get the courtship that we need back int our relationship. It may sound crazy but it works and you will see results very quickly. Check out this blog on managing your man’s release for more information.
You will find that his entire personality can change in just a few short days after you start taking control of his orgasms. Until his body is familiar with the process he will get a bit cranky for the first few days but after that, the magic really starts happening. Don’t take my word for it, give it a shot!
One other thing thing that leads to boredom, resentment and sexual disconnect is the whole sex bartering system. If your sexual needs are mismatched or you simply don’t find sex as important as he does, he may start to do things to try and guilt you into sex. This is called the sex barter system and he might wash the dishes, buy you flowers or give you a massage and then hold that over your head to make you have sex with him. I don’t know about you but there are many things that will turn me off more quickly than a guy trying to guilt or blackmail me into having sex.
With some slight changes to his daily routine, you can have your monogamy cake and eat it too! Let me know how it goes!
Do you have ideas to help keep your monogamous relationship exciting? Let me know!
This is going to sound simplistic and cliche, but communication is really important. For us the cage has been a catalyst for conversation. We are talking more about what we want and need.
We are typical in that after having two kids my wife’s libido has gone down. She still enjoys sex, but it is not on her mind. Whereas it is often on my mind. I have shared my fetishes with her, but she still was reluctant to open up to me about something. She claimed that sex was too much work. When I asked what she meant she went silent and then she told me that when I’m going down on her she thinks of different scenarios. Some involving other men watching her or me watching her with other men. It got me very excited to hear this and I was happy she shared it. Glad to know she had strong desires.
Neither of has a desire to swing or cuckold, but I do think there is a lot in humans that makes us want more. I need to read Chris Ryan’s book Sex At Dawn which talks about this.
Anyway, we are thinking of ways to leverage this information. Masturbating to porn together to fullfill her voyeuristic urge (something we have not done often, but now seems like it might become a regular thing). I have considered ways to do mock cuckolding.
I have been listening to a podcast about cuckolding (keys and anklets) and although I have no interest in pursuing this, I totally get the lure and find the conversation fascinating. All the couples talk about how close it brings them and improves their communication.
Took a break from chastity, but getting locked up again tomorrow. Also trying some herbs for the wife’s libido.
If I could give one piece of advice: if you really love someone share your feelings with them. They will love you even if they don’t understand and this will help you grow and know each other.
Oh come on. My EX-gf tried the same shit. I left her. This game of manipulation works only as long as a man puts up with it. There are plenty of women who will give him the sex that you deny him. Yours is not a viable or particularly successful philosophy.
It sounds like you are speaking more broadly about female led relationships – when a man willingly submits his relationship authority to a woman. Can you tell us more about your thoughts?
It sounds more like he is speaking very broadly about Female Led Relationships. I’m in one and it is the very best thing my wife and I some 10 years when our journey began. The way “Daddy” describes is not an accurate portrayal of a healthy and loving WLM/FLR, only a dysfunctional one. And those don’t get to count. Our WLM operates in much the same manner as your wonderful relationship with Kevin does
Monogamy is healthy and natural, it makes your bond and relationship better and stronger. You are right Emma ,women get bored more quickly in bed than men,semen retaintion return passion in relationship,improves man’s behavior he evolves in better version of himself. His love and energy,are concentrated on his beloved woman ,and he is more attentive to her needs,he is eager to serve,please and court her.When man retains he becomes chivalrous gentlemen,he knows how ladies must be treated,his manners get better because his energy is not dissipated for damaging frequent ejaculation. Women who get control of man’s orgasms have more satisfying and happy relationship.
Male orgasm denial makes monogamous relationship more passionate,kinky, exciting, successful, faithful,honest,caring ecc.
“At the beginning of the relationship, he was submissive to us.”
This was one statement that I could not quite wrap my arms around.
Why do you believe males are submissive at the beginning of a relationship (but apparently not later)? Is that backed up by science or just an opinion?
I have found MORE luck with attracting and keeping women by not being submissive in the beginning. But, maybe you are using the word “submissive” to mean “very accommodating” or “very nice.” I think we need to evolve our use of language. I lean dominant, but I am always very interested and deeply concerned about each and every woman who is in my life. I give her my ear and my heart and try to make sure her needs are kept in the front of my mind. In my opinion, that is separate and apart from dominance or submission. It is the essence of being a decent, kind human being. That doesn’t mean I won’t whip her ass when it needs it, but it does mean “safe, sane and consensual” are not just empty words.
The research has said that women get bored more quickly with relationships, but I could spin that completely differently. I think that only suggests men should have, from the beginning of every relationship, an alternate source of sexual release (i.e., a side dish or favorite escort) since individual women cannot be trusted to stay focused on the relationship. In my experience, a slightly jealous woman is more likely to stay committed. It is when the WOMAN, not the MAN, gets monogamy that you have problems maintaining long term relationships based on the evidence you provided. In that sense, it actually seems more dangerous to put too much faith in a female centered relationship as women do get bored. Just food for thought. Please don’t shoot the messenger.
“It is well-established that women end more marriages than men (Braver, Whitley, and Ng 1994; Brinig and Allen 2000; Hewitt 2009; Hewitt, Western, and Baxter 2006; Kalmijn and Poortman 2006). Regardless of who is asked (him or her) and what measure is used (e.g., who wanted the divorce more, who filed the legal papers), women are the “dumpers” in about two-thirds of divorces (Braver, Whitley, and Ng 1994).
This same pattern is reflected in the termination of dating relationships (Helgeson 1994). By both her and his reports, women are more likely than men to end dating relationships; and regardless of who ends the relationship, women are more likely to have anticipated the breakup. This gender difference in desiring and anticipating relationship dissolution may partially explain the gender gap in post-breakup well-being—men fare worse.”
Interesting. Thanks for the info!