Successful Relationships are 50/50

In a successful relationship, decisions are shared, money is shared and both parties have an equal say in the relationship and the direction of the couple. So how can this be a thing when you’ve literally got him under lock and key? Why would you want this when you can exert total control over your household?

I’ll argue that the traditional male/female relationship is not really equal parts due to his subconscious hidden agenda. When he isn’t locked, relationship decisions are 33% her needs, 33% his needs, 34% his penis’s needs. Removing his penis from the decision-making process is essential to ensure that the couple is on a level playing field with each other. By holding the key, she is ensuring that he is making decisions with his mind and nothing else. Compromise in a relationship is essential because no two humans will ever be in complete agreement. It will always be necessary for one partner to submit to the other in certain decisions.

Let’s go back to the basics of your female led relationship. There are several levels of female-led relationships, for the sake of this article lets number them as 1-4.

  1. Female leads in certain ways and certain minor aspects of the relationship.
  2. The female takes the lead in everyday life and the household but clear boundaries are set in which aspects of the relationship are under her control. This may or may not spill over into some slight kinky bedroom behaviors.
  3. Not only does the female take the lead but she takes a controlling interest in the relationship and all decision making. If the couple cannot come to a resolution, the final say is always hers. The female takes over most male roles and the male takes roles that are commonly associated with the female. This type of female-led relationship almost always spills over into the bedroom into spanking, chastity, pegging and perhaps some light humiliation, teasing or other activities.
  4. The female at this level will exert total and complete control over her man and treats him as a servant in all aspects of their relationship. The male’s opinions are typically not considered when making family decisions. This includes household decisions, finances, chores and any other components of the relationship including sex. This level of female-led relationship most commonly includes some sort of mild to extreme cuckolding and humiliation.

I believe that levels one through three are respectful of both parties and are sustainable for long term relationships. With level four, the woman will quickly tire of being on her pedestal and the male will either give up on pleasing her or become so meek that he is essentially nonexistent in the relationship.

As I’ve stated in previous articles, I do believe that male submission has very little to do with their strength and character as a man. To me, it would be difficult to respect a man in a level 4 type of relationship simply because I do value him and everything that he brings.


The goal is for the couple to make decisions together but allow the ultimate control and direction in the relationship to fall on her shoulders. He would accept her leadership and support her in all ways. In most relationships, this is only possible with orgasm control otherwise you will find that his actions are guided his sexual needs rather than her direction. He will unknowingly try and undermine her authority and constantly attempt to manipulate her into sex. Now, this isn’t because men are inherently bad or anything negative towards men, they are inherently driven by their hormones and their sexual frustration comes out subconsciously.

As women, we need the constant courtship that led us into his arms in the first place. We don’t seek to belittle him or deny his relationship and emotional needs. We simply look to control the fulfillment of his sexual needs for the good of the relationship. With continual teasing, this control can easily be used for positive manipulation including behavior, attitude, even weight loss. You are looking to lessen his subconscious drive while increasing his conscious bond with you.

The goal isn’t complete control, the goal is to guide your relationship to success with the balance coming from both partners. One word of advice, don’t let your control overshadow his worth. You picked your fella for a reason, after all.



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Hi Emma,

I want to thank you for publishing this site – it’s an excellent resource for people in relationships like yours and it’s been fascinating to read about your journey.

I thought this post about relationships being 50/50 was an interesting take because as a married man with submissive tendencies, I want to give up more than 50% but I’m having a hard time doing so

I recently followed my wife to a job in another country, where I am not able to work myself. Prior to this I had always been the one who made more money and had the more “important” job. I think even the most equal relationships have elements of submission and dominance…. I’ve seen this classified as control of finances, household chores, sex, free time and life decisions. My wife made an important life decision by moving and I’m ready to give up the rest of these as well. For me, staying home to clean and cook, being given an allowance, and being told what to do is every bit as titillating as whips and strapons. Giving up my email passwords and having parental monitoring on my phone is exciting as well.

I’ve kept my desire to be in a female led relationship private. Now that it’s actually becoming a reality, though, I’m finding that it’s one thing to fantasize about but another to experience. I was excited about becoming a submissive househusband while my wife assumes a dominant role as head of household. But now I find the situation is causing a lot of anxiety, which sometimes comes out as defiance and backtalk. I’m trying to get better at this.

My wife is fairly dominant in bed but I doubt we would ever experiment with chastity and pegging – I am interested in both but my wife just isn’t wired that way, and bringing it up seems like making her do something she would rather not – the opposite of submission.

I’m trying to find a way to be at peace with a submissive role in our relationship, and make her more comfortable exercising her power. Any advice you have to that effect would be greatly appreciated..


Have you tried asking her what tendencies she would find titillating ??

What do you think? Please leave a comment.x