Female Authority

Female Authority: How can it fit into my relationship?

As our society’s definition of authority evolves, women are the new men.

As you take a moment to think about that, it might actually have some truth to it. I know women have been the primary household authority for years. My mother was, my grandmother was and probably generations before that. As traditional gender roles have gone, the man goes to work and does his job and the woman is the ruler of her household.

It seems that this view of gender roles is changing and evolving. Men need authority and structure in their lives and that seems to be progressing out of the household and into the world. Female breadwinners are becoming more and more common and the male role can be flexible. In a previous forum comment someone suggested that we needed to look at both genders multi-dimensionally because the world is changing and so are our roles. As we progress as a society, roles are no longer tied to gender.


While the blog is titled female authority, I am certainly not advocating that female is the authority in all things. I am suggesting that females CAN be the authority in relationships and in the workplace. I find myself craving a more 50/50 split with orgasm control as the great equalizer.

Think about your current or past relationships:


  • Who drives the car?
  • Who manages the finances?
  • Who asks whom when making major purchases?
  • Who works? If both work, who earns more money or has more workplace prestige?
  • Who cooks? Who cleans?
  • Which of you is courting the other? Do you find yourself asking him out on dates or is he asking you out on dates together?
  • Who typically provides emotional support?
  • Who is more dominant? Who is more submissive?
  • Who initiates sex?
  • Who dictates when sex happens? Who is more sexually frustrated?
  • Do you transition sexual roles in your relationship?

All of these things will vary from person to person and may even change over time as jobs come and go. Perhaps you’ve been the dominant force in one relationship but that same role doesn’t suit you in the next. As women gain confidence about more active roles, how does this change things in the bedroom? If you want to take more control, tease him. Teasing and denial aren’t about sexual foreplay, they are about power.

Sex is a huge part of any relationship and it typically reflects the dynamic of the relationship. You make a strong sexual statement when you transition sexual roles and take a more active approach in initiating sex, role reversal or even pegging and chastity. If he initiates the pegging or demands to be locked in chastity, roles haven’t truly changed he simply is asking that cater to his fetish. I would challenge you to do only what comes natural for you sexually but when you find something that engages your carnal side, embrace it and demand it. If you simply want to be on top from time to time, do it! If you want to completely replace PIV sex with pegging, do it! If you want to do some combination that better suits your sexual desires, make sure that you communicate your needs to your partner and do it!

The moral of the story is, fully engage yourself in your relationship and embrace the level of authority that you feel comfortable with. Allow your confidence and authority to permeate into your sexual relationship and demand a sexual relationship that is both fulfilling and exciting for you. Don’t just take the cards that you were dealt and entertain the needs of your husband or boyfriend. Relationships are hard work so make sure that you are making your relationship work for both of you.

Neither of you is superior, only love is superior. Love yourselves and love each other. Embrace what makes you both happiest. <3



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“As traditional gender roles have gone, the man goes to work and does his job and the woman is the ruler of her household.”

Are you saying that your ideal relationship is a man working outside the home and supporting his more dominant female partner at home?

I know there are a lot of men who like your view of the world and I applaud the fact that you are an advocate for greater female power and carving out islands of relationship power for women.



“What is your view of the world?”

As I read your blog entries, I would say we both lean toward more dominant roles. From the time I was a young man, I knew I preferred a relationship where the man is dominant and the female more submissive. In my experience, many women become stronger under the leadership of a dominant, but loving man. Women tend to be guided more by emotions and feelings and a *good* man who has a dedication to fair and just rules (and punishments) creates a strong foundation for the growth of a woman. When women have good, strong men in their lives they tend to be happier and suffer from lesser degrees of depression in my experience. Now, as a male dominant, I do expect her to receive regular sessions of spanking and provide long and satifying oral. I do not consider it selfish because I think good men always keep their woman’s needs first in their mind. These women have no better advocate and no better friend. But I know that not all dominant men are good and this type of relationship is not for everyone.

I have no problem with a woman satisfying the traditional role of a man as the rule maker if she is *good* and dedicated to fair and just rules. If she is playing dominant just to satisfy her ego and is not her partner’s best advocate and friend, then I would suggest she reconsider the role. But there is nothing saying women can’t do all the roles traditionally held by men just as well.

Bravo for you, especially about insisting on getting what you want, not catering to his desires. Soon enough his desires will come under your control.


Emma,I thing you could write an article about:How do you manage your relationship.You are strong,assertive,dominant,self confident,intelligent woman,who likes to be in charge,control your relationship.You are not shy to tell your man what you want from him, about your wishes and needs. You have expectations of your man,and he gives up to your expectations,because he loves,honours,cares,appreciate,cherish you. I think Kevin is a lucky man to have such loving and caring woman like you Emma. Many women denie themselves to be happy and loved in relationship because they think it’s not feminine to make talk up about their need,wants and desires.They are shy and passive,they do a lot to please their men,but don’t get a lot in exchange. You could give example,help these ladies to improve their self esteem,be more, confident, uninhibited,assertive and passionate,not to hide their need,wishes,desires.
With retaining man it’s much easier,when you control his orgasm, hormones,he is more attentive and submissive to your needs,your pleasure comes first,he he gets pleasure by pleasing and serving it’s an honour for him. When man retains his giving and serving nature reveals.The same for Ladies,they like to be courted,pleased and served by their devouted knights.Let your chivalrous gentleman spoil you,treat you like a queen that you merit.
When women don’t make demands,and don’t have expectations, men become lazy,neglect and take them for granted,because they are boring and passive.

You could include some info like:

Who manages the finances in your female led relationship.
Who cooks and cleans.
Who initiates sex,what are you demands and expectation for Kevin,how do you like to be pleased.
What does Kevin do to support and help you in everyday life,to make you happy and satisfied,make it easier.Emma do you have a honey do list for Kevin?

What standarts do you have for Kevin in your relationship.

Do you have some rituals to honour, respect and appreciate you and your authority in relationship Emma.

Thank you for your site and posts Emma,Kevin treat you Lady in best way, thanks for sharing,have a good day. Don’t publish it.


My Queen was raised by her grandmother V. V and her sisters definitely ruled their households. Men could either be respectful and do as told, or get out. No lip either! These women survived the great depression and World War II. A wife led marriage is nothing new….

My husband is a househusband. He’s doing all the housework and we’re both happy for that

He loves to make money, but now he can only do it to the extent that his housework allows. He can only work on the Internet for money if the house is clean laundry washed and ironed.
CB was challenge. When he got used to it, everything else was easy.


I just stumbled upon this blog today as I (a man) was wrestling through some of these feelings in myself and of course took to google which led me here. I have to say reading this entry was both eye opening (at least for me) and humbling.

Eye opening because I thought such feelings were rare and not expressed as much out in the open. Maybe that is naive on my part but it is honest. Humbling because as a man I think it is hard for us to admit the truth that is spoken here and that our society is undoubtedly becoming more female driven and led.

I have to admit and recognize that not only that is true but also that as men we do indeed need authority in our lives even if we won’t admit it all the time. But I think even more so that we specifically need female authority in our lives. And not just in the sense of needing structure or help with our lives being organized but I do think there is a natural inclination in men, even though many of us do fight it and suppress it, to be led by women and to serve them as they direct us to. Maybe that is just my opinion but I think there is a lot of truth to it if we as men are honest about it.

I didn’t even know what pegging was until I read this blog and looked it up. It was a bit shocking to read and I am not sure how many women would actually like to do such a thing (although I am not a woman so I have no idea) but to your point that as gender roles are indeed shifting it would make sense that this would include the bedroom as you pointed out and I guess following this line of thinking it would be a woman’s right to demand such a thing… Still a lot to process but I am super curious to read more entries on this blog and learn. Thanks for taking the time to write such informative stuff!


Thanks. Honestly all new to me so just trying to absorb and process it all.


As a man, 45 y.o. I want and need a relationship that is 50/50 but running of the household it needs to be 80/20 with me in the supportive and submissive role. Also, a relationship where I’m disciplined when I become disobedient to Her. I am not above Her, I am equal and I need Her to correct my behavior. I want and need to submit to Her and obey Her. I cannot be unsupportive when She’s dishing out discipline to the kids and totally upend Her authority over them. That’s being a bad parent and being a bad husband. If I were to railroad Her the relationship is damaged. I cannot damage a relationship like that. Therefore, I must submit to Her authority and have Her authority over me as well INSIDE the home. I must set the example of being a true leader so that She will have a true husband. I also must serve Her and keep Her happy because if Momma ain’t happy no one is happy. I love Female Authority. I need Female Authority to keep me in line and in check.

@Emma Great article. There are men who support FLR/WLR/LFLRs and Matriarchy in the home. We know the truth and we know Who’s the Real Boss. PEACE & LOVE!

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