Creating A Fetish With Operant Conditioning

Can You Create a Fetish?

Can you build a fetish in your guy thorough operant conditioning? Operant conditioning is a type of learning where behavior is controlled by consequences. You can read more about operant conditioning here.

The question with this blog isn’t about operant conditioning but rather if you can create a sexual fetish by conditioning him to sexualize something that is non-sexual. Don’t bother skipping to the bottom because spoiler alert, I don’t have an answer.

Sexual fetishes can be very normal or can be very weird. It would be fair to say that a guy with a butt fetish if fairly normal and a guy with a foot fetish would be slightly less normal although not completely abnormal. For the purpose of this article, the definition of “normal” is defined by the acceptibility within society. Personally, I could care less if you have an earlobe or sneeze fetish.


First, what is a fetish?

A fetish is something, such as a material object or nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.

The medical community describes a fetish as a paraphilia:


Paraphilia (previously known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation) is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals. Such attraction may be labeled sexual fetishism.

Wait, sexual perversion? Perverts? What are all of these words? Actually the medical definition of perversion isn’t what you might think:

Sexual perversions are conditions in which sexual excitement or orgasm is associated with acts or imagery that are considered unusual within the culture.

So we’ve established that paraphelia, fetish and sexual perversion all pretty much mean the same thing. The question now is, how do I create one and what should I create? I love Kevin and obviously he is going to be my subject for this, what should I create? Perhaps I ask him to bury his nose in my belly button when I allow him to release his seed. Maybe I only allow him to release while his head is covered in a blanket, or while yelling insults at him (kidding of course, we keep things very positive).

I do request that he ask permission before ejaculating and he has been permitted to ejaculate without me a few times in the last few months and said that the finds it hard to ejaculate without receiving my verbal permission late in the game.

Maybe I’ll do something like this and maybe I won’t but I wonder if a guy will develop a strong sexual connection if he is only allowed to ejaculate while receiving a certain sort of stimuli. Thus, I would think create a sexual fetish within him. Seems far fetched but if his brain builds a positive sexual connection between those two seemingly unrelated things, will he have developed a genuine fetish?

Update: One of our fantastic readers just told me that Sex Nerd Sandra did a podcast about this very subject back in 2017. If this blog got your attention, I highly recommend her podcast.



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I’m not sure I like it but my keyholder has threatened to only play with me and allow me to orgasm if she puts nipple clamps on me. Fortunately, that’s been inconsistently applied because they hurt. But I could see eroticizing that if she really stuck with it. (Sorry, Kevin, if this gives Emma any ideas.)


Hi Emma,
I don’t know if you can do it (though I suspect if anyone could don it you might be one) but isn’t the answer yes of course. Doesn’t an effect of pornography consumption sometimes provide evidence of just this thing? Through pornography some gravitate toward arousal by more and more extreme imagery and lose the ability to be aroused by less extreme imagery. I’m not a student of psychology but isn’t this a kind of operant conditioning? Perhaps in doing so it isn’t constructive for many relationships, other than perhaps for the user and the porn provider. I don’t think that this is exactly what you have in mind
but the fact that it happens supports the possibility that you could do it. I think that I’ve read here and elsewhere (yoga girl) of men losing or having diminished interest in or ability to masturbate to climax in the absence of their partner’s permission. Isn’t this a sort of fetish. Not as flashy as heels, leather or latex but similar.
Looking forward to hearing about what you try and outcomes.



Oh I like this idea. This could be a lot of fun! So, I have a few ideas about this depending on the effect that you’re going for. But first, I would say that I think using taste or smell as a trigger could be a powerful and fun way to go. I think there is some pretty good research to show that taste and smell can induce fairly vivid memories.

So, my first idea when I read this article was to use a trigger as an arousal mechanism. So my immediate thought was to only allow Kevin to cum when he is licking your pussy. In this way he would associate his orgasm/pleasure with the act of cunnilingus and your taste. This would hopefully ensure that when he performs this act while under lock and key that he is very aroused and fills his cage to capacity. However, I can imagine that cunnilingus likely already has this effect on him.

My second idea is to use this technique to try to get Kevin to associate his pleasure with something that he currently may not like doing but that you do like. I’m not sure if you are so inclined or if he is necessarily disinclined but the act that comes to mind for me is anilingus. So he would only be allowed to cum with his tongue and nose buried in your ass and licking away. Again, he would hopefully associate your taste and smell with his pleasure and then become more enthusiastic about doing it for you whenever you want if you’re into that. I also think this could also lead to some really fun teasing. For instance, if he asks to cum you could tease him about being a brown noser etc.

My third idea is to use it as a training mechanism. I know you like pegging and Kevin seems to get some enjoyment from it but I think you could potentially use this idea to help Kevin get more enjoyment or arousal from it. You could easily make it so that he is only allowed to cum during pegging or while he has a plug or some other toy up his ass. Or if you’d like to be able to use a larger toy with him, you could make it a requirement that fit a certain size plug or a certain amount of a graduated trainer plug up his ass before he is allowed to cum (something like the Master Series Giant Ribbed Anal Cone). As an aside, I think larger toys (not huge) can be pretty sexy and more fun for pegging for several reasons. The visual of the small frame of a woman wearing a large cock is pretty hot. Also, I think the visual on your end of being able to see it slide in and out in longer strokes should be pretty hot as well. And practically speaking, I think a larger toy prevents some issues with potentially falling out, especially if you’re really letting him have it, because it allows for a longer stroke so you have to pull your hips further back before you risk falling out and if you do fall out then you’re much more able to feel the weight of the dildo fall and dangle between your legs. And, from my perspective, a girthier toy provides more pressure on the prostate and provides longer strokes gliding against the prostate which feels amazing. Again, I also think this could lead to some fun teasing opportunities when he asks to cum. For instance your response to that request could be “hmm, you really do like a fat cock up your ass, don’t you?” and if he says no you can respond “well I guess you have your answer then” and leave it at that. But if he says yes because he knows the rules but you’re not yet ready to let him out, then you can just fuck him and leave the cage on and when he inevitably asks about taking the cage off you can respond “honey, you said you like this and I’m trying to give you what you like.” And you could even add “if you are going to complain whenever I’m working so hard to give you what you like then I can just forget about giving you anything you like.” Then if he continues to protest about wanting to cum while you are fucking him just say “okay, you are allowed to cum, go ahead.” and just keep fucking him while it sinks in that you mean he’s allowed to cum in his cage from you fucking his ass…if he can. Anyway, sorry for the long tangent, my imagination ran away with me.

My last idea is to pair his orgasm/pleasure with something completely innocuous which I think may be more in line with your original idea. My thought is to only allow Kevin to cum while he is eating a mint like an altoid or something. That way you could hopefully just give him a mint anytime you’d like to get him aroused. I think this could be a lot of fun because you could also give him a rule that if you ever offer him a mint he is not allowed to turn it down. That way if you are out in public or at dinner with uninitiated friends and/or family you could just offer him a mint and watch him squirm while little Kev tries to expand inside his cage. Or better yet, you could give Kevin the option of turning down the mint but with the knowledge that it will mean that you are skipping his next release. This will put him in the predicament of a difficult choice between the potential embarrassment of squirming around in public from the pressure in his cage or enduring a longer lockup.

Anyway, sorry for such a long post but this topic really caught my imagination. Also, if Kevin reads this, sorry not sorry if any of this becomes an uncomfortable reality for you.



My Wife started to use a pair of soft Angora gloves to slowly stroke me as for play. She saw how excited and hard I would get so she started doing it all the time for about three months.
Then while on vacation my wife used a soft Angora sweater folded inside out to stroke me to orgasm. I came really hard and allot. Then she told me, “I want to see how many times I can make you come this way!”
I of course was all for it. With each ejaculation it took a little longer and I came less and less until finally on the 7th time my penis just dry heaved and nothing came out.
My Wife laughed, “Your little dick is completely dry now! There’s no way it could get a female pregnant now!”
Then one day while driving for work I saw a pretty lady driving a Mercedes Benz wearing a very soft Angora sweater. My little dick immediately erected and tented my pants. I tried to think pure thoughts, but it would not go down.
My only choice was to find a secluded place and masturbate so I did. Then it went down and I went to work.
My Wife has kept me locked in a stainless steel cage since 2003 and is very demanding about me always wearing it.
As for my penises fetish or rather addiction to anything Angora its worse now than ever but with the chastity device it can’t erect. It stops it by making it uncomfortable and it will then go down on its own. It works well since I can’t masturbate any more.
My Wife still uses stroking my penis as a special treat for my good behavior when and if she unlocks me. This addiction really drives me to work and be good to please her so she will unlock me for this special treat. Sometimes she’ll wear something Angora just to drive me mad and tease me by saying things like, “I bet your little dick wishes it could be free and feel this really soft Angora sweater!”
I always immediately get teary eyed and say, “yes”.
I know this addiction cannot be undone and my penis will forever try to erect when I see a woman with anything Angora.


Hi Emma, did you decide on an experiment to try out? I’d love to hear the details of the operant conditioning you’re going for and any updates on progress.


Emma, I was just surfing through some old posts and was wondering how Kevin’s training was going. Have you had any success with the dog clicker?


I had the thought of using a pacifier for this. Fairly common, adds a little humiliation, should be able to link the pacifier to sexual stimulation/ejaculation.

What do you think? Please leave a comment.x