Sexuality And Gender

Sexuality Has No Relation to Gender

He is gay so he likes penis. She is gay so she likes vagina. They are bi so they like both. Then you throw a throw in trans and that whole equation gets more complicated. I love beautiful women but I am not a huge fan of the girl parts down there. A beautiful woman with a penis is a wonderful invention. I am attracted to the femininity of a beautiful woman, the masculinity of a beautiful man and everything in between.

What about the parts that I don’t necessarily love? I really enjoy her curves and breasts but her vagina? I can take it or leave it. How about a masculine trans person with a vagina? It doesn’t change things for me. I enjoy his masculinity and I am attracted that that masculinity but I don’t care so much for his vagina.

Does that make me some sort of bigot, sexist or transphobe? Maybe. You tell me. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know anything about transgender community. Like many others, I get most of my transgender education from pop culture and porn. I acknowledge that I am certainly not giving these wonderful people their due since these are probably the worst two places I can go. Nevertheless, this is the context that I am working with.


With that in mind, we have four types of people.

  1. Those that identify as male and have male parts.
  2. Those that identify as male and have female parts.
  3. Those that identify as female and have female parts.
  4. Those that identify as female and have male parts.

So if #1 and #3 get down and dirty, everything is alright but any of the others want to netflix-n-chill then suddenly a group of people has a problem with it?


What about #2 and #4? That’s still a boy and a girl with boy parts and girl parts doing the nasty-nasty. That one is still off limits somehow? I just think it is all silly. Just love who you want to love and be who you want to be. Life is too short, don’t overthink it.


Have you ever heard the term skoliosexual? I hadn’t until I went down a rabbit hole of research that I often find myself in. Skoliosexual is when you are aroused by middle school scoliosis exams. I am only joking of course. The actual definition is that you are attracted to nonbinary people. Other words such as allotroposexual or ceterosexual also define the same sexuality.

Why define it?

Why do we feel it necessary to define our sexuality with terms? Why can’t we just love everyone and experience love in the context that it happens. During our lives, we experience the feeling of love with three or maybe five people for those of us who are lucky. Do we really feel like those five people are enough to need a word to define our sexuality? By limiting our sexuality with a word, I feel that we we are not only closing doors but closing our mind to possibilities. You may find yourself gravitating to a certain group of people through your life but allowing that to evolve and grow over time is what makes us human and what makes us unique.

The Obligatory Apology

I know that I am being overly simplistic and frankly I am speaking out of turn when it comes to discussions of gender and sexuality since I am the most boring of the bunch. A mostly straight white female. For those I offended, I apologize. I invite you to inform me on anything that I may be missing or point me to a discourse to help better inform me about this topic that I find incredibly interesting.

Just know that my heart comes from a place of love and curiosity, I mean no disrespect or disregard for feelings. Regardless of your sexuality or gender identity, you are no less of a person than I and your opinions and feelings matter no less than mine. Love you!



Related Posts

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Notify of
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Once again, very sure you have my house bugged. My wife and I were talking about my sexuality a bit last night. It was not particularly deep in content, the basis of it was this.

– I am biologically a guy. And enjoy all aspects of female sexuality
– still a guy, but I also enjoy all parts of male sexuality. So am I bi?
– I enjoy being mentally a woman, and enjoy being with women. Does that make me a lesbian in that case. Or still bi, or trans…
– I enjoy being mentally a woman and would like to enjoy a man while feeling that, preferably sharing with my wife. So trans then?

In the end our discussion concluded with her declaring that I am beautiful and she loves me for who I am and how we are together. So it doesn’t matter. We don’t actively try to define it, because it really does not matter as long as we are happy.

I applaud you diving down this rabbit hole, as you said, because it is a real sticky wicket. The good thing about giving up on a definition for myself is it makes it easy to not be offended.

Perhaps they should just add a Facebook style Its Complicated box to all gender question areas.


Does that make me some sort of bigot, sexist or transphobe? Maybe. You tell me.”

No! It does not. Not preferring something is everyone’s right. Hating or discriminating against someone just because they have a vagina or penis, because of their religion, political leanings, sexual orientation, color of their skin, believe the earth is flat, or they love women with red hair (like me), or ……. whatever else, is an entirely different matter, and is wrong … IMO.

Sadly I think that it is becoming more acceptable for people to identify other as racist, homophobic, sexist …. whatever, just because that other person automatically decides that you don’t fall into line with their beliefs. This is figuratively hitting someone over the head with hammer rather thank allowing reasonable, adult, even problem solving discourse.


“they love women with red hair (like me)”

For you friend.

images (5).jpeg

Our cancel culture at its finest.

What do you think? Please leave a comment.x