Male orgasm denial has many benefits that we’ve covered on this blog, the male and female orgasms are very different. The female orgasm is designed to promote closeness and pair bonding while the male orgasm is intended to push the man along to the next mating opportunity. The female orgasm gives you those magical feelings which range anywhere from pure lust to deep love. Getting started can be a challenge because it is an enormous change to your sex life but here are some ideas to kick things off.
No-Nut Night is just that, a night when sex ends without an orgasm for him. This helps build the bond of intimacy without the hormonal release associated with his orgasm. My blog has a tremendous information about orgasm denial and the positive impact on relationships. My boyfriend, Kev and I typically go for the 7 day lockup schedule but we will often go for a second week to keep him on his toes. For the sake of this blog, I’ll assume that you are new to orgasm denial and just trying to introduce it to your relationship. Starting slow is a great way to get your toes wet, here are some ideas.
You Can’t Go In
This one can be fun especially if he is locked in a cock cage but it isn’t necessary if you both have plenty of willpower. You can cuddle in bed, he can lay on your stomach but my favorite is doggy style. You lay on the bed and tell him how much you want him to fuck you, dirty talk is an enormous plus since it gets his hormones flowing and increases his heart rate. Wiggle your bum and perhaps spread your lips showing him how wet you are for him. If he is wearing a cage, he may even try to push up against you but it is an exercise in futility. The cage will provide a certain level of discomfort when he is aroused. The more verbal you are and the more you tease, the more fun you can have.
This is like a bedroom version of red light green light. You can only say two words, stop and go. When you say go, he is to enter you and slide in and out of you. You think of a number in your head and that is the number of thrusts you allow before saying stop. This can go on an on for a while until you’ve had your fill of teasing him and decide
Dock and Talk
Docking and talking is just how it sounds, he puts his erect penis inside you and the two of you talk until he gets flaccid and slides out of you. No thrusting, just focus on deepening your connection together. I wrote at length about the dock and talk approach in a previous blog.
Why Don’t You Just Watch
This again would work much better with a cage but it isn’t necessary. If you are not using a cage, have him sit on his hands to prevent any inadvertent touching. He should be seated at least ten feet from you and you should spread your legs and play with yourself. You can whisper about how badly you want him, this will work wonders. Play with yourself using a vibrator or dildo and bring yourself to orgasm. Eye contact is wonderful as he watches you enjoy blissful orgasm (or two) and he attempts to maintain his composure.
No Sense of Touch
Sex toy websites have hollow strap-on dildos and harnesses that allow usage while he is still locked. This one involves him having sex with you using a strapon. Essentially the same thing as pegging but reversed. If you don’t do pegging, you should strongly consider it but I digress. This one will allow him all of the visual stimulation that comes with sex but it is incredibly confusing and frustrating since he can’t feel anything when he looks down. It is almost like eating your favorite dessert but you can’t seem to taste anything.
I Can’t Feel Anything
Apply numbing cream to his penis and give him a slow handjob. It is likely that he will get soft since there is very little stimulation. When he is soft, talk about how much fun you could have if he was hard. How you like hard dicks but his is soft and you can’t do anything with it. Clearly this one incorporates a bit of humiliation into it but most guys enjoy the hormonal adrenaline lift that accompanies feelings of humiliation. Make sure you wash the cream off with a washcloth when you are done playing.
I Can Feel Everything
This is just like the above but use sensitizing cream instead of numbing cream. Apply two or three times the recommendation on the packaging and wait a minute or two between each application. Stay within the safety guidelines (of course). Once his penis is thoroughly sensitized, even the lightest touch or air movement will give him feelings of pleasure. If you aren’t careful, this one might result in an ejaculation so watch his body language and tease slowly. As with above, make sure you wash the cream off with a washcloth when you are done playing.
All of these incorporate a level of play into your relationship. Play is essential for any relationship as it keeps the partners mentally engaged with each other in a fun and supports the emotions surrounding love. The secret to a successful relationship is play and that should exist both in and out of the bedroom. If you can’t smile and laugh in the bedroom, how can you enjoy yourselves fully outside the bedroom. Intimacy is a positive emotion and it goes along with laughing, smiling, teasing and play. Try adding a no-nut-night to your sexual adventures. Are some of these likely to be frustrating and possibly a slight bit humiliating for him? Absolutely! Rid yourselves of the mundane and try something new, feel the rainbow of emotions together and try something completely different.