It is true that men report a greater desire or interest in sexual fetishes than women do. Men also report engaging in these types of behaviors more frequently as well. Some of the studies I read indicate that men are three to four times more likely than women to have stressful prenatal environments. Apparently, a stressful prenatal environment makes us more likely to develop sexual fetishes (paraphilia). Brain organization during prenatal development gives us lots of things including the propensity to be left or right handed. Men who are pedophiles are 3.5 times more likely to be left handed than men who are not pedophiles which they use as a determination of likelihood to exhibit paraphilic tendencies.
Other factors related to men having a greater likelihood to exhibit paraphilia are a generally higher sex drive and generally higher difficulty of mating effort. Thy hypothesized that the greater level of frustration to get attention from the opposite sex can lead to the body sexualizing the frustration into a fetish.
The other question to ask is whether the male gender role or biological sex creates a greater likelihood to be sexually geared toward fetishes. The male gender role and development environment with our society’s suppression of emotional communication may play a part in fetishism. Is it nature or nurture? I think there is quite a bit of grey area in the studies that I read and one thing that might skew this report is gender based sexual openness. They also group all fetishes together. Personally I think they should separate to specific fetishes or at least separate those fetishes which society finds distasteful from those that are more commonly acceptable. Another variable is that men may also be more likely to admit to certain sexual proclivities while women may be more reserved due to societal pressure for women.
What do you think?
Emma, I don’t have as much expertise as you concerning sex and psychology, but what I have read confirms the proposition that males are more prone to sexual fetishes than women are. An interesting book on that topic is “Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us” by Jesse Bering. He says that not only are men more prone to fetishes, but once they fixate on a fetish it seems to be hard wire and, therefore, almost impossible to change. Women, on the other hand, seem to be more adaptable and less likely to get locked into an unchanging pattern of behaviour. I find this paragraph interesting:
“Other factors related to men having a greater likelihood to exhibit paraphilia are a generally higher sex drive and generally higher difficulty of mating effort. Thy hypothesized that the greater level of frustration to get attention from the opposite sex can lead to the body sexualizing the frustration into a fetish.”
That rings true to me. I have sometimes wondered whether my own masochistic and submissive kinks were the result of the combination of a high and very precocious sex drive and a shyness that inhibited me from interacting with girls I liked.
I’ve had 7 relationships and 2 marriages and about half of the girls had fetishes and half said they didn’t have any.
What I did notice was the girls that had fetishes where also the girls that where very sure of them selves and more alpha.
As to handedness and pedophilia, sure am glad I don’t find myself glancing at kids. I’m left handed 🙂
What were the fetishes that you found these women had?
Now that I think about it, maybe fetish isn’t quite the right word as much as a willingness and drive to explore various aspects of sex including power differentials in relationship, orgasm control going both ways, altered states in a sexual context brought on by breath work, meditation, extreme teasing and denial, etc.
Men have “fetishes” and women have “interests, types”. Maybe the difference is just that women prefer something but will choose values over their “thing” and men are called “fetish” because it is more of an obsession that takes the forefront.