Let’s get real about blue balls!

We’ve all heard of blue balls. You know, that medical condition men complain about when they get aroused but don’t ejaculate. I was accused of being a tease back in high school because I messed around with my date to the spring formal dance but didn’t go “all the way”. That poor guy went home with the infamous blue balls and I imagine he is still nursing this lifelong condition. This condition is real and the formal name is epidydimal hypertension. The symptoms are temporary mild aches or slight discomfort in the testicles or base of the penis for a brief period of time. It is high time that this very real medical condition gets the attention that it deserves.

Epidydimal Hypertension is a serious condition

It should be noted that both males and females experience blue balls since we both experience an increase in blood flow to the genital region during arousal. After things stop either due to orgasm or cessation of arousal, that blood has to go somewhere. When orgasm occurs, it masks the dull and slightly achy feeling of blood exiting those regions. When orgasm doesn’t occur, there is nothing to mask those sensations resulting in a few minutes of mild discomfort. If the tone of this blog comes off as mildly sarcastic, I don’t apologize as it was absolutely my intention.

How can you resolve blue balls?

  • Refocus yourself on something not arousing.
    Check your email, do some work, pay some bills or call grandma.
  • Go pee.
    Urinating helps speed up this process.
  • Take a cold shower.
  • Do some exercise or lift some weights to increase your heart rate.
  • Don’t do anything and just wait a few minutes.

Growing accustomed to it.

As many of you probably know, Kev and I separate sex from his orgasm since we practice semen retention. When we have sex, it isn’t accompanied by an orgasm. This was challenging at first but now it is simply how we do it. At the beginning he complained about blue balls for a few minutes but over time he has either grown accustomed to the feeling or his body has become better at getting things back to normal after one of our lovemaking sessions. Kev and I have discussed this more than a few times and guess what, he feels very little discomfort and it only lasts for a few minutes. From his perspective, this does get worse depending on how long it has been since an ejaculation. Locktober has been especially difficult since we’ve had sex a few times a week with no release for him. This isn’t typical for us, usually we do the 7 day cycle and have sex 2-3 times per week and he ejaculates at the end of the 7 days.


Why did I bother to write about blue balls?

I got an email from someone criticizing our practice of semen retention (separating the male orgasm from sex) which got me curious about the “condition”. The following quote really made my eyes roll:

Blue balls is a very real thing and can cause serious damage. Consider your responsibility to men’s heath when writing about sexual topics.

So this is me, considering my responsibility. I don’t usually pull the female discomfort card but if a little dull aching sensation gets this much attention, you got the good end of the deal. Maybe we can trade for period cramps and see what you think. I don’t intend to experience childbirth but you can have that one too while we are at it. Thanks for reading and if you had blue balls when you started this blog, they have likely returned back to normal so congratulations to you.




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Idle Hands

The slight pain of Blue Balls seems similar to Period Pains because the nerve supply of the testes in men is basically the same as the nerve supply to a woman’s ovaries. It’s a totally deserved form of male discomfort, and I think that any man who complained during Locktober should find himself locked for almost another month – through to Thanksgiving on 25 November – by which time he undoubtedly will be Giving Thanks +++ !!

As you say, the traditional cold shower is highly effective with Blue Balls. Before entering the shower the man should have his hands tied behind his back with a tight cord connecting his tied wrists under the crotch to the Chasity Cage.

You may like to hear him howl as the cold water does it work. Otherwise he is best gagged before entering the shower so as not to upset the neighbours.


“Don’t do anything and just wait a few minutes.”

Absolutely hilarious, but it’s absolutely true.

When we have sex, it isn’t accompanied by an orgasm. This was challenging at first but now it is simply how we do it. At the beginning he complained about blue balls for a few minutes but over time he has either grown accustomed to the feeling or his body has become better at getting things back to normal after”

Although I am also not allowed to orgasm during sex too often, oddly enough I get blue balls type ache right after being allowed to do so, but only when when the good kind of orgasm is allowed (3-5 times a year) and not a ruined orgasm, which is much much more frequent. Perhaps the ache stems from the more intense ejaculation that comes from a full-on orgasm and the rapid evacuation of semen.

Also oddly enough, over the years I had come to enjoy he dull ache of blue balls because it served as a constant reminder, brief as it is of my devoted submission to my Queen. Now that I think about it, ever since I went from an honor-system chaste husband to a caged husband, the cage itself replaced my aching balls as the source of that constant reminder.

I know we men tend to turn into babies when it comes to dealing with pain and use it to solicit sympathy from our partners. We tend to make blue balls sound like if we don’t some loving attention that culminates in orgasm, that our testicles are going to explode … but fellas, they won’t.

I do have a question Emma, is Kevin never allowed to orgasm during sex with you and if not, how does he orgasm?


Complaints? Come on guys … get on board. Don’t be a quitter. It’s not about you!

In addition to the familiar dull ache, do you find that the constant stimulation of the cage to be a welcome or unwelcome distraction?”

Very welcome! More than welcome! I love it! I really do. That said, I have to give the credit to my Jail Bird. If I were in a CB6000 or some other plastic or tube type cage that I couldn’t clean while wearing it, I’d hate it and so would my wife.

I was about to say that I envy Kevin and the other fellas around here that get regular orgasms/ejaculations, but in reality I don’t. I learned a long time ago that if I wasn’t to be full of shit when I say it is all about her, then having her decide when, how and if I cum is the right thing to do. And it is. If anything was a problem for me, then it wouldn’t be all about her, would it? I’ve never had fewer orgasms in my life, while at the same time I have never had better and more sex and intimacy in my entre life. Go figure.

Do I want to cum during sex and when I am teased and edged and even just in the room when she orgasms? Every. Fucking. Time! And yes, I beg to cum at the height of the OMFG part of our sex and in the heat of the moment. That said, every fucking time when it (she) is done, I genuinely thank her for denying me and I am instantly grateful for the constant state of arousal and desire focused only on her.

Love the tongue in cheek approach. We all need to laugh more in the world

I know it is none of my business how Kev gets his orgasms but I want to say I feel much better for Kevin now that I see it has become an act of love and intimacy and is now about so much more than the release. It is so important to me that the male orgasm is recognized as an emotional experience as well as physical.


Thank you for your vocal support as an ally on this issue. Both my father and grandfather suffered from blue balls.


Men by nature are gives, women are receivers. Ogasm control helps man to redirect his love and pleasing his woman without wasting his precious semen. In ancient times men were chivalrous gentlemen who courted, worshipped and romanced their ladies. I think it because women knew how mans nature work and were allowing intercourse exclusively if man were retaining semen. Emma with a man who retains you can experience vaginal, clitoral and squirting orgasms ect. This is natural female ability, you will enjoy intercourse much more. When he retains he wants to be your chivalrous and loyal servant and satisfy all your needs and wishes.Semen retention has been practiced by men since ancient times. It’s absolutely normal, healthy and natural practice for men. Not so long ago there was Oneida Communiy in USA, founded by John Humphrey Noyes. Semen retention improves a lot couples relationship in general. I think that man who retains, cherishes his relationship, loves, honours and respects his lady. When man retains he want to be chivalrous , romantic, passionate and treat his woman in the best way.
Why so many women don’t enjoy intimacy with men it’s pretty obvious. Sex when man grabs and forcefully penetrates, Jackhammering her vagina without caresses and foreplay than ejaculates and fall asleep exhausted, leaving his woman needs unsatisfied and neglected. It’s demeaning, dishonoring and disrespectful to use womans body as doll for masturbation. Women shouldn’t let men be treated in this horrible way.
Women must reeducate men how to make love to women. Men have spontaneous sexuality and women have responsive. Women need more time than men to get aroused. Man must create atmosphere, relax and set woman in mood for intimacy. Women need more time to warm up, let her tale her time kiss, caress, pamper,lick, suck all her body and erogenous zones. Then give her best passionate cunnilingus before intercourse. For a long time sex was dominated by men of church etc, and female pleasure and needs were denied and neglected. Secondly women don’t enjoy intercourse because they are not in charge of their pleasure and orgasms. For a long time only permitted sex position was missionary. In this position sex was made as l described before woman was immobile and man jackhammers her to release sperm and then falls asleep, because he is tired and needs to recover. Leaving his woman needs unsatisfied and abused. Missionary position speeds up premature ejaculation because man is in charge of thrusting and it’s difficult to control himself. I think it’s selfish and ignorant sex position if you want to make love and please a woman. I think for men who practice s.retention it’s better to evoid sex positions like missionary and doggy because they speed up premature ejaculation. The best position and solution is female superior sex position woman on top. In this position the risk to speal a seed is minimum, man can last much longer, and woman is in charge of his and her orgasm.Go wild in cowgirl position, Enjoy yourself, do what feels good to you. Do womements that feels good for women grinding, rocking, circling they feel good for women and prevent premature ejaculation instead of up and down movements that speed male premature ejaculation. Man is proud to make woman get off and orgasm. Your movements are not restricted, you are in charge of your pleasure and orgasms you control pace, angle, length of penetration, and his hand and lips are free to give you even more pleasure and orgasms.
Men are like fire yang energy they warm up quickly and switch off too. He can’t last long after jackhammering on top it’s hard to avoid ejaculation, than he switch off, because his body needs to recharge after losing seed. It’s selfish and disrespectful to use woman as masturbation aid??., there is no need seed to show love and affection. Frequent ejaculation is unhealthy and damaging for mens health in general, semen retention preserves mans health and vigor and has many benefits for him. There is no need to release semen each time during intercourse. Women instead are multi orgasmic they have inclusive Semen retention is a practice that has been practiced by men since ancient times.
Women instead are like water yin energy, they take more time to warm up, but when they are aroused enough, they desire more and more.Controlling mans orgasm through semen retention and cowgirl position is a way to male both partners enjoy intimacy and create stronger bond. Man who practice semen retention and use cowgirl position, shows that he loves, cherishes, honour, respect and takes care of his ladies needs and pleasure. He wants to her chivalrous gentleman, take care of her and serve her needs.
Man who retains shows that he has good manners and is thoughtful gentleman. Emma you know how mans orgasm and desire work. You Emma and Yoga Girl show women that they have also right to be pleased and enjoy sex too.You are strong willed, confident woman, who respects yourself, and don’t let men demean, disrespect or take you and your needs for granted. I think women have right do demand and expect men to practice semen retention because womans needs and pleasure matters too. Real loving and caring men know this. Jackhammering and using woman as masturbation aid is disrespectful and demeaning toward them. Still so many women don’t enjoy sex and can’t orgasm because of selfish men, it’s really sad. I think in ancient tantric times men respected womens needs, pleasure and desires. When man retains he is eager to please and serve his ladies needs. Love, cherish and respect each other.


As a man, I’ve never felt we had any business complaining about blue balls. Maybe when we have to deal with menstruation, pregnancy and childbirth, then we can. Until then, give me a break! Take a cold shower.

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