Images of black men as a much larger and more menacing cuckold threat to the poor innocent white women are pervasive in porn and imagery around the cuckold fetish. For the longest time I said that I didn’t like the word cuckold and everything that it represents but I think my biggest issue is the racist undertones and implications in the cuckold fetish. This isn’t because I don’t like seeing nude black men. I find black men very attractive and I dated a black man for a while. No issue there, nope not at all. The problem I have is racism in porn. I don’t even want to watch interracial porn because I find myself sitting on edge for the inevitable racist comment that will take me completely out of the mood. Racism is disgusting and sadly, I think the appeal has something to do with a black man being seen as a threat which I loathe. Humiliation in the bedroom walks a fine line between erotic teasing and emotional pain. My personal opinion is that the interracial cuckold “black bull” stereotype is abhorrent.
The stereotype is that black men are better endowed, have better stamina, more sexual prowess and are more dangerous. In fact I had a user on this site reluctantly admit that she liked black men because it fueled her rape fantasy. Newsflash, all ethnicities have rapists and rich entitled white frat boys are probably the most-rapiest of them all. Did I just try and fight racism with racism, I guess I did.
What dissonance is there in the psychosexualities of whiteness such that white men are simultaneously terrified and contemptuous of monstrous Black manhood and desirous and envious of the spectacle of their monster Black cocks brutalizing white women?
vice.com
My personal opinion is that black men being seen as some sort of sexual predator is harmful and perpetuates society’s stereotypes. If you find yourself aroused by the thought of a black bull, ask yourself what specifically arouses you about this genre of porn. Why is racism allowed to thrive in porn when it is shunned in nearly every other aspect of our society.
The religious groups who fight porn cite their reasons for fighting pornography because it is demeaning to women. I personally don’t find porn demeaning in fact there are many porn genres where I see porn to be empowering. I have several friends that supplement their income with a healthy OnlyFans side hustle and that works well for them. So now you know what I think, what do you think? Is a black man somehow more risky in a cuckold situation than an equally endowed white man?
Sorry for the rant today, I was talking to someone about it and decided that I would harness my energy for the blog. I shouldn’t need to say it but if you have openly racist or hateful things to say in the comments, this isn’t the place. I’ll hide anything inappropriate. Please love each other.
Awareness is important, but shame about a fantasy isn’t good. So I’d humbly suggest that if someone has a fantasy that has a racist element to it, to simply accept that it is racist, and remember that it is racist, and not pretend that it isn’t, but to carefully keep it sequestered in fantasy land.
Fantasies can be a bit hard to control and shape, at least in the short term. (Imagine those poor people who have fantasies about children — that would be hell for most of us.) I think it’s better to deliberately classify something in your head as a fantasy — something you’d never act on in real life — and then consciously work over time to redirect your mind away from that particular fantasy if it’s something you feel uncomfortable with.
But I acknowledge that this is a tough topic, with lots of potentially awful grey areas.
(And personally, that whole trope of cuckolding by a person because of the color of their skin is both ridiculous and a huge turn-off for me, but I was trying to avoid being judgmental about the fantasy itself. As long as fantasy truly stays fantasy, there are lots of weird and kinky things that people can enjoy that I personally think are weird or disgusting, but play among consenting adults is their business, and frankly their fantasies are none of my business.)
Lastly, while I don’t have a link and I can’t remember where I saw it (maybe Kristine Kellog?), there was a good article or podcast on this topic a while back by a man (in the UK, I think) who gets to play that third man (i.e. a “black bull”). It was interesting to read, so if anyone remembers the article or podcast that I’m talking about, could you post a link?
I figured that I would get some hate for this one because racism and is so prevalent in the cuckold fantasy. In fact, racism is so prevalent that many people may not even acknowledge that their participation in the popular fantasy may perpetuation these racist undertones.
With that said, our fantasies certainly play in some gray area. How different is it to be so put off by racism in the popular fantasy when Kev and I actually indulge SPH which pokes light fun at a trait that cannot be changed? There is a level of hypocrisy that I must acknowledge with myself but to me, racism is a whole different level of wrong.
Thanks for the reminder about Kristine Kellogg. I need to catch up on her podcast I am behind by two or three.
I wouldn’t worry about the hate. Speak truth, and let history take care of the rest. When you’re right, you’re right … and you are definitely writing something here that people should consider and think about, because ignoring (or pooh-poohing) this topic has the potential of doing a great deal of damage over time. So, kudos to you for your bravery in addressing it.
I hope that my previous comment came across in the manner intended: That not all fantasies that would be horrid and evil in the real world, have to be considered bad in fantasy land. As but one example, there are women who enjoy rape fantasies, but definitely do not support the notion (any notion) of non-consensual sex. I don’t want to share personal information about others, even though I’m largely anonymous here, but I know women who have been raped who have, for whatever reason, used rape fantasies (likely as some sort of healing or coping mechanism, but I am no expert on the topic of psychology). And I am not making light of this; these topics of racism, child molestation, and rape (among many others) have all been experienced by a number of loved ones in my own life (not of my doing). The suffering from any one of these is horrendous, and the scars usually last forever.
It is strangely a racism loophole in ways where all three sides in this scenario enjoy the racial aspect of the dynamic. The same type of criticisms could apply to chastity I suppose as well. There are many who enjoy the humiliating aspect of chastity, having their cage referred to as “little clitty” or various other female terms which could be taken as sexist.
It is strangely a racism loophole in ways where all three sides in this scenario enjoy the racial aspect of the dynamic. The same type of criticisms could apply to chastity I suppose as well. There are many who enjoy the humiliating aspect of chastity, having their cage referred to as “little clitty” or various other female terms which could be taken as sexist.
Dear Emma – I’m sure you’re aware of this, but much of this IR cuckolding drama is a result of porn merchants attempts to profit off the perceived fantasies of others. I’ve never known a woman who had a rape fantasy relating to this, but do know several married white women who think black men are more sexually satisfying than white men, and openly wonder what it would be like to have a black lover. Personally I think the subject is a bit over hyped, but there is no denying there is a percentage of white ladies who will give into this fantasy and insist on having a black man for a lover, while also having a white husband or boyfriend.
I agree with you completely that the racism implicit in may interracial cuckolding sites is disgusting. I wouldn’t be adverse to my wife having a black lover. Neither would she, though that hasn’t happened yet. But I agree with you that the stereotype of the “big black bull” dehumanizes black people by making a racial stereotype into a sexual fetish. I think that humiliation is part of the thrill for many of us cuckolds. Therefore, I think that some white men like the fantasy of being cuckolded by a black man because they feel the bull’s racial status would increase the humiliation. In my mind, that’s racist.
Questions from me rather than opinions.
I completely get that racism is a thread that runs through several strands of porn, and the trope of a strong, black sexual predator is unimaginative and reinforces fear and racism that can have tragic results as we see in the news. No argument from me and I’ve stood against racism and other forms of discrimination all my life.
I would go further, citing porn that belittles women as sluts and has men spitting and pissing on them, slapping and beating them, as well as performing sex acts that are obviously painful to the woman.
Porn has lots of victims, from children and women forced into acts on camera to actors who are coerced past their comfort zone in unsafe settings, to, arguably, those who watch extreme porn and fail to separate fantasy from reality.
When it comes to kinks and fetishes though, many of these involve humiliation, punishment and deprivation as well as inflicting pain, but done right these are all consensual acts and there are no victims – everyone gets what they want. In this setting, is a fetish for large black males with huge dongs and relentless sexual stamina truly racist? Is a black male appropriately endowed who involves himself consensually in a cuckolding arrangement complicit in racism.
We would immediately condemn someone who whips or canes a victim until they scream with pain or bleed as a sadistic criminal who should be locked up. But a consensual sub/domme relationship that does exactly that is understood by us in the kink world where it is not by vanilla folk.
A woman who belittles her suffering husband would be thought of as a Right Cow. But removed to a consensual scene which gives both sexual gratification makes it a different thing altogether. We get that also.
Should the fact that a consensual cuckolding relationship, where humiliation is the actual requirement of the cuckold, and the kink is that the bull should be black, be given latitude in a kink setting? If we think not, and such a kink ought not to be permitted, are we opening the door on a range of other stuff until we arrive at the point that the Puritans were right and we should be only doing heterosexual missionary? Are we repressing both the willing black partner and the couple involved?
I’m not black nor a cuckold, but I have a range of fairly light kinks that “upright” vanilla citizens would take a dim view of, and one or two that in a different era would have seen me prosecuted.
Sadly I have no answers here… but let me expose some ideas, maybe it could help us think about it better…
Most of the ideas that classify some kinds of sexuality as wrong started in victorian England (actually, most classifications as a scientific practice started in this period, initially with botanics, classifying plants, but eventually everything was being classified – sexualities, mental problems). Being gay was eventually classified as an illness, and many ended up in a asylum for it – it was, back then, seen as a more humane way of treating people, because in the middle ages a gay person would most likely be burned alive or beheaded. So “healing” someone was essentially making them just like everyone else.
Nowadays, this would be considered almost (completely?) criminal – you can’t lock someone just because they are gay. I may be using homosexuality as an example, but it works for anything else… anything that is not unpleasant and meant for reproduction could be be labeled as an illness. So yeah, today we are trying to get rid of those assumptions of the past and stop labeling things as anormal.
However… and here is the main point: our sexuality can also mirror some problematic issues. Feminization as a form of humiliation, in a way, labels women as inferior (and by feminizing a man, you remove his superiority). Maid fantasies can do the same, but with domestic labour. And many people do indeed feel offended with racist stereotypes on porn movies (watch a series called hot girls wanted on netflix if curious…)
And sometimes we might think “well, if both of us consent and everything remains between these 4 walls, then it’s not an issue”. The thing is… It usually does not remains between 4 walls… it end up in porn movies… blogs like this one… you get the point.
I’d feel bad if i ever saw a porn movie that showed a black sub being treated as a slave (as in the 18th century slavery, not the modern kind) – and i’m not black also.
Soooooo. I feel bad for complaining about someones kinks – it’s not like they have a lot of control over them anyway… But i’d also feel bad about the toxic things in porn – it makes us insecure and anxious – I mean… can any guy say he has NEVER worried about being too small down there? This kind of pressure to be strong guys with big dicks also takes a toll…
See… No answers here… but it’s something to think about i guess?
I saw an interesting perspective on this that wasn’t so much discussing any conscious or subconscious racial tones, but rather what this sort of porn does to the average black man. Contrary to what porn shows us, not all black men have giant dicks. Not all black men are athletic or super-masculine the way the black porn actors are in cuckold videos or just in porn in general. Basically, the black bull trope in porn can really affect how black men see themselves if they don’t measure up to what is “desirable.” Of course, porn is a largely dehumanizing thing.
In regards to the racism, I see it as multi-dimensional. Is there any inherent racism when a white guy watches cuckold porn with a black bull? Yeah, maybe. How about the couples who are actually in the cuckolding lifestyle. Are they racist for finding a black man to be the bull? Maybe. But what about the black men who ARE the bulls? Are they racist?
Might it be this sort of symbiotic relationship where black men are “conquering” women who were off-limits for much of history? And they aren’t predators. They aren’t rapists. At least not in the videos I’ve seen. instead, the white woman willingly–no eagerly goes to the black man while the white husband either looks on helplessly or is not even in the room (or he’s filming).
Maybe there is some racism that feeds into this. I suppose, if you want to correct that, you need to dispel the myth that black men are better lovers than white men.