Flr 101 Logo

FLR101 – Chapter 2: Turning up the passion in your marriage by implementing an ejaculation schedule

I didn’t exactly have a plan on how I’d introduce semen retention, and an ejaculation schedule to my husband after reading about it, but the method I chose was effective.  When we started our love making session on Sunday, I mounted him and told him, “Your not cumming until Tuesday.”  I could tell by his stiffening member that this wasn’t going to be a problem for him to accept these principles.  The next three days of actually living it were another story.  Just stopping when I was satisfied and not getting his ejaculation was very frustrating for him, but we got through it.  A year later,  he now accepts intercourse without ejaculation unless it’s his special day as determined by his ejaculation schedule,

You’ll find that once you’ve set an ejaculation schedule for your husband, his behavior will start to transform.    Initially, our love making sessions went close to an hour or more.  And in those early days after instituting his ejaculation schedule, I would receive close to fifty orgasms in a session.  My husband was insatiable, and it was up to me to put the brakes on these long wet sessions.  Currently, I end it at 9 orgasms generally.  He would prefer to take me to at least at least 18 or 27 if I would let him.  It’s not that I don’t want to, but it does get raw with all the thrusting so someone needs to make the call to stop what seems like an unstoppable train.  I’m a well loved woman, but disengaging from the sex act is a challenge for him. I will go into detail about how to help your husband transition from thrusting to stopping without ejaculating when you’re finished and completely satisfied in another article.  It’s a topic that deserves not to be given short shrift here.

It’s been my experience that when a male is retaining, and you’re applying daily sexual stimulation without release for him, that he wants to give far more service in the bedroom and household than you might feel comfortable taking.  It was impossible for me to demand too much from him, and he even gets disappointed if I don’t take enough.  It won’t make any sense to you until you see it for yourself, but he is experiencing a fundamental truth of his nature.  He’ll want you to take everything from him, and still try to top you from the bottom to get you to take more.  If it gets too much for you, simply relieve the pressure with ejaculation.

Advertisement

It was a learning process. For instance,  I found that sleeping in the same bed with a semen retaining male isn’t conducive to sleep.  He needs his own sleeping quarters, and I need mine.  You’ll have to see how that works for you, but I don’t need to be woken up in the middle of the night by a raging hard on.  I need my sleep.  My master bedroom is off limits after 10pm.  Your husband may have his own quirks that you may need to work through.

You’ll also need to decide what kind of relationship you want.  His ejaculation schedule will regulate that.  Do you want to function like two equal adults, or would you like him worshiping you, groveling at your feet.  From my experience, either one is possible.  At first, I took and took pushing him to exhaustion.  He was on such a tight leash, I think I broke him.  Since, I backed off the dial, he’s still submissive, but the relationship sails on a more even keel.  90% of the time I like to communicate with an equal.  The only constant in our relationship is the ejaculation schedule and who it’s enforced by.  Everything else is shaped by what flows from that.

Advertisement

You’ll need to deal with his ego as he could be insecure that you might lose respect for him as you take the lead training him how to service you in the bedroom and the rest of the house.  You need to reassure him that you respect him even more than before. Tell him how proud of him you are that he’s trying this, and how much you love it.  Then tell him what chores need to be completed before ejaculation.  My husband may be on a 5-7 day schedule, but that is contingent upon his behavior, and certain things getting done.  If he’s had an instance of poor behavior, his 7 day schedule just became 8 or 9 days.  Would you like to try for 10?  It corrects bad behavior instantly.   I’m so proud of him.  He now asks me me what my plans are for ejaculation day.  It’s a given that his release now comes through me.

Sexually, your husband will become your man of steel.  Stamina and sustained thrusting will come in time, but the improvement in my husband’s erections was immediate.  My reading suggested that lovemaking should be thirty minute sessions.  He should thrust if he can, and then stop short of ejaculation, rest and then start again.  If he can’t thrust, he should remain motionless, but still inside only thrusting when he can to maintain an erection.  Even if it’s just you as a couple just kissing with his penis inside you motionless, that will be sufficient.  It should be a very bonding time between the couple.  The woman should pursue as many orgasms as possible during this period.  You could have him lie on his side with you on your back forming a “T”, putting his penis inside you without moving while you stimulate your clitoris.  This position also allows me to put my foot in his face as he services me which my husband loves. As you maintain intimacy like this for at least thirty minutes, your yoni may start to awaken if it’s suffered from years of neglect from selfish lovers or other emotional blockages. 

So, What’s the right ejaculation schedule for my husband?  This is something I struggled with for a couple of months.  My husband says the answer is every time we have intercourse and twice daily by himself.  Obviously, that’s not the right answer.  I’ll take you on a journey through my thought process on this.  I was curious if I could form a consensus between what science and the spiritual traditions have to say on this, and then apply that knowledge to my experience.  Currently, I have him on a 5-7 day schedule.  It’s important to note that it’s not celibacy that he’s practicing in those 5-7 days.  I don’t believe being celibate is healthy, meaning no orgasm or sexual contact.  There are therapeutic benefits for the man applying sexual stimulation daily.  I believe in daily intercourse between the yoni (vagina) and lingam (penis), but no ejaculation for the man, and all the orgasms for the woman that she can handle.  A man is free to orgasm, but there must not be ejaculation.  Unfortunately orgasm and ejaculation are so closely bound together for the man, he must experience orgasm through his wife’s orgasm until his special day.  I’ve read it’s possible for a man to orgasm without ejaculation.  If he can, more power to him.  I’ve read that some of the masters can do it, but it take years of practice.  It’s certainly beyond my husband’s capability.  There are physical methods to stop ejaculation that are tried among some that practice the tantra, and semen retention in order to still have an orgasm.  These methods are more than foolish.  Please don’t try these. I certainly think there is a strong possibility of damage if they’re tried. I’m not even going to get into them.  If a man is ready for it, it may happen for him in time, probably a very long time.  Until then he has the pleasure of intercourse, and the orgasm he creates for his wife which she should be able to channel to him between the union of the lingam and yoni. 

I originally started my husband off with a three day schedule, but after I read about this study, I decided to push him to 5-7 days which he wasn’t happy about, but his testosterone level was low, and I don’t want to start him on testosterone supplementation especially if I can boost it naturally with semen retention.  And why have him sacrifice for three days for no gain whatsoever.  Below is a study that played a significant part in my decision.

A research published by the US National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health found that after 7 days of not ejaculating, men’s testosterone levels reached 145.7% of the baseline. The interesting thing is that they didn’t observe significant fluctuations from the baseline on days 2 through 5. The research also showed that the peak levels were at day 7.

So, I thought this was a cool find.  Seriously, 145% of base line?  That alone is enough to make me a  zealot for semen retention and get out the whip to enforce it, and preach it to the world.  That’s about four ejaculations a month.  The legendary Sun Su-mo says:

“A man may attain  health and longevity if he practices an ejaculation of twice monthly or 24 time a year.  If at the same time he pays careful attention to proper diet and exercise, he will have a long and healthy life.”

That’s not bad,  I like it when science validates and even improves on religion.  I also read that testosterone levels were lost if ejaculation was postponed for three months in a study. So extended periods of denial are maybe not a good thing, and short bursts of retention may yield more benefit for the male.

Taoist sexual yoga states that the Taoist masters best frequency is to ejaculate once every 100 sessions.  This is interesting. Typically, I have about 50-80 orgasms by the time he gets his one ejaculation.  So, if they’re thinking a female has an orgasm per session, and I squeeze 50-80 orgasms in five sessions. We’re close on that as well.

Here’s some more sage advice:

Master Liu Ching, a Han Dynasty adept credited in dynastic archives with achieving a life span of over 300 years, preferred to regulate his emissions according to the cosmic cycles of seasonal change:

In spring, a man may permit himself to ejaculate once every three days, but in summer and autumn he should limit his ejaculations to twice a month. During the cold of winter, a man should preserve his semen and avoid ejaculation altogether. The Way of Heaven is to accommodate Yang essence in winter. A man who follows this guideline will live a long and healthy life. One ejaculation in cold winter is one hundred times more harmful than an ejaculation in the spring.

Sun Ssu-mo’s advice to men on regulating ejaculation frequency can be summarized as follows:

  • By the age of 30, a man begins to lose vitality and should stop squandering his semen recklessly. It is time to give up the habit of masturbation and to become acquainted with the Tao of Yin and Yang.
  • By the age of 40, a man has reached the critical turning point in his life. If he wishes to prevent the rapid downhill slide into the grave which undisciplined sexual relations cause at this stage in  life, he must now start practicing ejaculation control as a habit.
  • By the age of 50 his ejaculation frequency should be no more than once every 20 days.
  • By the age of 60, most men should completely curtail ejaculation (but not intercourse). Exceptionally healthy men with strong libidos, however, may continue emitting semen about once a month, or, better yet, once in every 100 coition’s.
  • By the age of 70, if a man is still hale and hearty, he may  continue using Dr. Sun’s ideal measure of once in every 100 indefinitely.
  • Practicing ejaculation control is just as important for strong, healthy males as it is for the weak and elderly. Those who start this regimen early in life avoid the worst ravages of old age, retard the loss of vital energy and live longer lives than those who wait until middle age to begin.
  • For most men, complete abstention from ejaculation is just as harmful as excessive emission. It creates a deep yearning for sex that disrupts the harmony of essence, energy, and spirit, and ultimately leads to the even greater loss of sexual essence and energy through the uncontrollable, intense ejaculations caused by ‘wet dreams’.

An ejaculation should leave a man feeling as light and refreshed as a woman feels after orgasm- not exhausted, empty and uninterested in further sex.

Such an ejaculation may be experienced only when semen supply is what the Chinese call “full” and “flourishing.”  If an ejaculation leaves you tired and depressed, you should increase the interval between emissions.

And some more research:

In 1974, for example, the Max Planck Institute in Munich, Germany, conducted tests on the physiological effects of mildly erotic films on healthy males aged 21-34. After half an hour of viewing, 75 per cent of the subjects showed marked increases in testosterone levels in their blood, thereby establishing a clear connection between sexual excitement and hormone excretions.

Subsequent research revealed that men with high testosterone levels, high sperm count and dense, viscous semen were completely immune to many communicable diseases and were highly resistant to others, while those with low testosterone and sperm count and thin, watery semen had only partial immunity to diseases.

Also, more frequent ejaculations decreases androgen receptors in the hypothalamus in the brain so even if you have testosterone, the ability of your body to utilize it is diminished.

Some other touted benefits of semen retention are:

Physical

  • increased energy and drive
  • boosted immune system
  • cures erectile dysfunction
  • prevents premature ejaculation

Mental

  • more confidence
  • improved memory
  • more decisive

Spiritual

  • calmer and less prone to anger
  • more connected to spiritual nature
  • control over material urges

Okay, you want to hear Yoga Girl’s theory on how to verify nutrient replenishment in a male? From my own personal experience that no research scientist will ever test, I use taste as a gauge.   This probably is the most apparent indicator that the schedule you’ve imposed on him is actually working outside of his steel hard erections, and the drive to serve in every way.  Most women find the taste bitter and objectionable.  After much experience with this, I’m convinced that’s because of frequent ejaculation.  When he retains for 5-7 days, the taste is very acceptable.  Prostatic fluid, 25-30% of the ejaculate is the cause for bitterness, and a lack of sperm and other nutrients from the seminal vesicals which make up the 65-75% of the ejaculate are lacking because of depletion causing that nasty taste.  Retaining for 5-7 days, the other nutrients are replenished and overcome the prostatic fluid.   Anyway, this is my theory that I’ve developed from taste testing again and again with different schedules.   His depletion is evident, and I can taste it.  This is why I have little reservation and sympathy about just walking away from him when I’m finished with intercourse, and he still hasn’t released, but so desperately wants to.  This is not about being sadistic and mean.  This is for his own good which is why I need to be strong and rigid in enforcing his ejaculation schedule.  He spends so much energy servicing me in sexual intercourse, and all the other service he performs as a result of his new biology created by the schedule, the least I can do is take a few minutes and enforce it to preserve his own health.

Marked1 Calendar85704128

I keep a calendar where we can see the length of time between ejaculations as well as the number of orgasms he’s delivered to me on a daily basis.  I think it helps give him a sense of accomplishment.  The calendar shown on the left is very similar to what ours looks like.  The numbers are my orgasms ie; 9 O’s.

I’m satisfied from my studies that semen retention is the right course for my husband’s physical as well as his spiritual development.  The only issue for me was how long should he retain for his maximum benefit?  And I think the answer is 5-7 days and closer to 7 days for maximum testosterone production.  That’s 4 times a month, close to Sun Su-mo’s recommendation of 2 times a month.  And the most important thing is continuous therapeutic sexual stimulation in between ejaculation times.  In between days 1 and 7, the chi he has been building will naturally transmute into productivity that can be used by the woman, or his own creative endeavors.  Retaining semen he is able to service me daily as part of my Yoga/Qigong practice. Without it he might only be interested in sex one or two times per week instead of daily.  With him practicing semen retention, my yoni has awakened, and it hungers for his lingam. Enforce this new ejaculation schedule, and see where your husband’s new biology takes you as the Tao reveals to him his true nature.  ~ Namaste

*Thanks to my hubby for helping with the graphics!

Sources for this article.

HPS Online-Tao Sexual Yoga

What is the Ejaculation Frequency for Optimum Men’s Health and Longevity?

Tibetan Tantra


DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.


8 comments:

Anonymous

Saturday, September 03, 2016
Do you think an ejaculation schedule of 14 days would be better than 7? In an ideal scenario

Yoga Girl

Saturday, September 03, 2016
I think it depends on the male. I’m going to try doing it as Master Liu Ching did it where the frequency of ejaculation is determined by the seasons as referenced in the article. It could be ejaculations as much as once every three days in the spring and very little in the winter. I’ve already told my husband to expect only to ejaculate maybe 1-2 times a month in the winter. Nothings certain. We’ll see how it goes, but I’d like to extend his time more. Master Liu Ching would say no ejaculation in the winter probably. My husband services me for a prolonged period during intercourse almost daily so that might be too rough on him. He really looks forward to that Sunday ejaculation.

According to the masters, once every six months would be ideal for them with regular intercourse. I started my husband at once every three days, and he’s at once a week now. I think for this to be successful, a woman should start her man with a light schedule so he can see it’s possible to even have sex without ejaculating. Maybe let him ejaculate every other session in the beginning. the very idea of it could be scary to the man in the beginning, but they need to trust their wife. Again, the couple should be discussing these very things in their weekly companion inventory.

pete m

Saturday, September 17, 2016
I enjoy and learn from your blog and re-read this post recently. In so doing I note that you quote Ssu-mo advice on ejaculation frequency by age. I have no knowledge of these ancient masters but would respectfully point out that men living a healthy vigorous lifestyle in combination with the benefits of modern medicine and less stress in just surviving may be physiologically 45 at age 60. And thus the ejaculation schedule imposed by his Goddess may be more flexible and still be healthy in their relationship.

Yoga Girl

Saturday, September 17, 2016
Yes, I think each couple will need to find their own equilibrium.

Anonymous

Monday, October 03, 2016
“You’ll also need to decide what kind of relationship you want. His ejaculation schedule will regulate that. Do you want to function like two equal adults, or would you like him worshiping you, groveling at your feet. From my experience, either one is possible. At first, I took and took pushing him to exhaustion. He was on such a tight leash, I think I broke him. “

Could you explain a bit more about how you “broke” your partner?

Also, were you really able to experience your partner worshipping you and groveling at your feet? Or did you mean that metaphorically. I would really like to transform my own relationship in that way…as I am sure many women would.

Thank you.

Yoga Girl

Thursday, October 06, 2016
I meant break as in breaking a horse. When we were first doing this, we pushed it to more of the extreme end. As you adjust your husband’s ejaculation schedule, you’ll have to see how semen retention reveals his true nature. If I set my husband’s schedule to one ejaculation every two weeks with intense daily stimulation, he will be literally worshiping at my feet if I wish, and I could define his role in our relationship as anything I wish. Once he hands over control of his ejaculation to you, you will wield great influence over him. Personally, at this stage I prefer a schedule of once every seven days, and a husband that is loving, well mannered, and a best friend and close to equals with passionate sex with a penis that can service me for as long as I desire. You will have to see where semen retention leads you and your husband. Experiment with his schedule. Let his level of service flow from how his schedule defines his nature.

Anonymous

Tuesday, June 27, 2017
writing at my wife’s request who recently found your blog. She’s so pleased by the benefits of this that she wonders why allow any ejaculation, ever? Two weeks in so far and I’m worried about health consequences, although she says those are overblown. She also took to the separate bed idea given my constant night erections. So now after some gentle oral attention under the covers while she reads, followed by a nightly leg and foot massage while she falls asleep, I retreat to the sofa. Worried I’m becoming more of a maid than a husband (yes, apron and all), although in all other areas we’re communicating and getting along better than ever. Advice?

Yoga Girl

Wednesday, June 28, 2017
I started a reply, but it was getting long, so I turned it into a post. Check the front page.

This is one of a few blogs that were published by Yoga Girl at her website at http://flr101.blogspot.com. This site is now offline but all credit goes to her.

Advertisement

Related Posts

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
0
What do you think? Please leave a comment.x
()
x