Hi, Its just me Sarah with an update – sorry this will be a bit long but I think I need to get this all out …
I rolled the dice quite a bit last night and we ended up having a long conversation over a bottle of wine for me and some drinks for him. I needed a bit of fake courage to get over my nervousness about discussing this with him (huge understatement)…. I told him about my relationship concerns especially relating to my sexual satisfaction and his need to really step things up in and around the house (we have been sharing a home together before our pending marriage). He conceded that he could do better in these areas….
I then spoke to him about some things that I thought we should experiment with to see if it can enhance the dynamics of out relationship to change those things – and I directed him to your site at that time. I gave him instructions that I “please” wanted him to read everything on the site from top to bottom and that we could then talk about it further once he had done that. But that I really needed him to read your site in its entirety before I wanted to have any more conversation with him. I then left him with a fresh drink (I said he might need it half jokingly) and headed upstairs to our bedroom to wait it out. A couple of very long hours later he came upstairs to our bedroom – where I was laying in bed, waiting quite apprehensively for his return…. Those were some of the longest hours of my life, and I thought perhaps I had just screwed up our relationship royally….
He had a big sheepish smile on his face!!!!! Big sigh of relief from me!!!
He said he had read everything – a couple of times, and he thought overall it was all pretty hot and that most of it made some sense to him. He wasn’t fully sure about the semen retention thing as that would be something which he had never tried before beyond a couple of days. We talked, and he eventually admitted that he had been masturbating several times a day on average, but that he would be willing to try the retention out and see how things went….
I said “thats really great and I am so proud and happy with you right now for having said all of this and being so understanding.” I then went on to explain how nervous I had been waiting for him and how important I thought this little program would be to our future relationship. I then went on to say to him that we would start very slowly with this program and let it fit into our lives. I said for starters what do you think about trying out semen retention for a week? Do you think you can handle that? After a bit of thought he said he was wiling to give that a try. I then said with a bit of a naughty smile, you have to do more than try, what are your consequences going to be if you accidentally spill during the week? – that’s a part of the program that we need to try out too….. Lets think about some good consequences we could use and then have you pick one of those out that we would use – but that it has to be an effective deterrent. I then smiled and said before we both go any further, maybe we should put you in the right frame of mind and have you take off all of your clothes. I want you naked the rest of the night. He smiled and tore off his clothes. He had a HUGE erection. It was big and puffy, purple and very veiny! And I think I saw some pre-cum. I said whats this and playfully slapped it with my hand. I then said well you seem to be receptive to this discussion so lets get on with it and come up with some consequences for a spill…
We both came up with a list of items
– corner time
– extra assigned household chores
– a spanking
– no going out with his friends
– losing the right to wear clothing while at home
– writing lines
– cleaning out the garage
– giving me a back massage
I then said I think I know which one I want, and I think it would be the most effective and manageable one for us to use long term. I said that it was the spanking. I asked him what he thought about that? I said it wouldn’t be a fun spanking and that I would try my best to make it painful and not enjoyable because it had to be something unpleasant to fit the crime and to work with the program. He looked a bit squeamishly at me and said “ok “but that he wasn’t 100% sure. Other than some light spanking done in play before we hadn’t really done that.
Well I think we need to try that out and see if we are both comfortable with doing that I said. I wasn’t 100% sure that I would be able to deliver something like this as well, its not something which I had really tried to the degree I was envisioning before either. How about a trial spanking right now just to see if we both can handle it and to see what might be involved and if this was going to work out?
He again somewhat quietly agreed. I said let me get ready. I took off my sleep pants and got dressed back in my jeans and t-shirt that I had been wearing before coming upstairs.. I said this is supposed to be a punishment so I don’t think I should wear anything remotely sexy or teasing for you as we need to set the tone that this isn’t for fun but punishment. I had him bring up a chair from the dining room and sat down on it. I then had him lay across my lap. His boner was really immense – I put that between my legs, and clamped down on it with my thighs. I then started spanking him with my hand. We both quickly found out that my hand wasn’t going to be enough – and honestly it was being quite a bit painful on my hand. I thought I was experiencing more pain than he was and we both were sort of laughing about that turn of events. Obviously not going to work for us. So I said, get me your belt off of your pants, and were going to try again with that. Long story short – that did the trick. He definitely lost his erection, had some real tears in his eyes and was jumping around quite wildly on my lap as I delivered the sample punishment. After some initial discomfort on my part dishing it out, I think I actually relaxed quite a bit and was able to get into it. His butt was flaming red. I said get up and put your nose in the corner – no rubbing your butt and hands on your head until I say your punishment is over. He complied. He went into the corner with quite the limp dick. But as he stood there in the corner I caught some glimpses of it from the side , and it slowly began to firm back up – so I might have to evaluate that portion of the punishment. I don’t know if I should allow that to happen or if thats just a normal cool down reaction and therefore allowable?
I would say you did fine. Erections will return. The point is that he doesn’t seek that experience again. You do want him to have good erections. He’s aroused by your assertiveness and authority as you tap into his natural programming, IMO. If my husband was standing in the corner with an erection, I would count that as good thing after all you’re going to be using it shortly. You seem to be a natural. I might need to ask your advice on some things.
Sarah: As he was standing there in the corner I talked to him and asked him about the spanking he had received. Was it painful enough to be a correction and could he handle that as a fair consequence to any real spills down the road? He said yea it was (I believed him from what I had saw while delivering it). I said are you sure that you are willing to receive this whenever you spill – no questions asked? He said he thought so. So that’s where we left it. We’ll see if that’s true and if its an effective correction.
I then removed my clothes, and pulled him out of the corner and put his head in between my legs and had him give me quite a bit of oral – I was quite wet. After a while I said ok now give me an orgasm with your cock and remember no spilling or you will get punished again – this time for real. He was very successful on both counts. And that’s where we left it last night. So far today I can tell he’s been extremely horny. I’ve been spotting an erection on him most of the day, and I have been edging that on with some playful feels and looks to the front of his pants. He’s been doing dishes, vacuuming and washing the clothes (and folding thats the worst part). Well see how the rest of the day and night progresses today. I plan on taking advantage of his cock again tonight and verifying that he has no spills. As hes been working I’ve been reading. I’ve been reading a lot on semen retention. I’m going to bookmark some sites and then have my fiancé read those as well and we can discuss further. I really am intent to not just make this some playful kinky horsing around and to make it the real deal for us both. I need that, and I think he needs that.
So all in all I think things seem to have started off very well. With just one night and day under our belt I don’t think I can really say a whole lot more, but it was a huge start. I am so relieved and happy to get this started. I am really glad that I was able to be honest and up front with him about this whole thing. I was just so nervous and afraid to talk to him about this before… That was by far the hardest part of this entire experience so far.
I’ll write more if there any big changes, or if things just continue to keep going and work out further. That’s the main goal just to just keep this going and not be a quick playtime thing. Were starting with a week at a time and well both see how it goes from there.
Thanks, thanks thanks for your sound advice!!!!!!
It sounds like his little soldier responded very well from your description. The only thing I would say is remember that he is a very young male. He’s very sexually driven, and 7 days could be a very long time for him to start with. I want to see him be successful. I’ve heard some say that a male his age could recover in 3 days. But just starting like he is I would be very happy with him even skipping a session or two without ejaculation. At 20 years old, he might be crazy after a week. I’m not giving advice, you are the master. I’ve never done this with a 20 year old male. Blue balls might also be an issue for him. Of course there’s always the cure of ejaculation. You’ll have to feel your way with that issue. The good thing is that he’s responding to the Lilith that is emerging in you. (I assume you’ve read chap 11)
Sarah: Thanks so much. I re-read chapter 11….
I have to say that I was extremely impressed with his little soldier last night. He stood so proud and rigid at attention throughout the whole night 🙂 They say good soldiers need lots of discipline and I think my soldier responded very favorably to my little display of Lilith last night. So I definitely think he’s going to see much more of her in the days to come, in and out of the bedroom.
Maybe I’m setting the bar a little bit too high for my little guy with the week. I’ve never owned my own penis before 🙂 so I don’t have a good feel yet for where his sweet spot is yet. He says hes gone a few days on is own without an orgasm. I do know my vagina has gone repeatedly for longer than a week without an orgasm. So I think that maybe with some proper motivation and the threat of real consequences it may be a reachable for him. I would be so proud of him if hes able to make that mark. We’ll see. I may have to adjust that spread. I have a very special treat in store for him if he can make it all 7 days. Meanwhile I am committed to making sure he gets his daily stimulation to keep up my end of the bargain. Orgasms for me, but hes going to have to be patient and wait his turn. His little soldier can consider this like boot camp. I have to break him down and mold him so that he become a better soldier.
The Next Day
We had a spillage last night and dealt with it appropriately I think. We are still adjusting and learning with this whole retention program and we foolishly had not used the *T position to keep things slow and controlled last night. Things just went too far too quickly. Were both learning how to read his body correctly so I think we will both have take the official hit on this one. But he received his correction and I made it severe (more severe than our trial run). We’ll move on. I think there will be a fair amount of trial and error with this entire process until we get into a rhythm but that we will eventually learn and get through it successfully. We chalked it up as a teaching moment and are having fun today. He will be naked today during the entire day and has been busy cleaning. I am making sure that he gets the appropriate amount of encouragement from time to time. Tonight I will take him for another ride – if he’s good with his chores.
I wont keep posting these updates every single day 🙂 I know that would get old and repetitive (this is just the start of our experience with this). But I just wanted to let you know that it wasn’t all perfect right away. We are hopefully dealing with it correctly and getting past what has occurred so that he can eventually succeed. Thanks again Yoga Girl for all of your help.
*[ My T position: I lie on my back legs spread (lower half of the “T”). My husband lies on his side with his penis inside me (top of the “T”). My legs are over his body or my right foot in his face. I can stimulate my clit, and I like him to not move or move slowly, and I can just masturbate at my leisure pressing my right foot in his face if he’s been good. It’s also a good cue for him, because as I get closer to orgasm, I press my foot harder into his face as my legs begin to stiffen readying for climax.
I think this is a good position for quick ejaculaters. The woman can just do herself without relying on the males performance, and the man can just lie there still or move as little as he’s able without the woman getting frustrated with his lack of performance. It works at least for me. I have pretty good orgasms that way.]
DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband. Every relationship should be safe, sane, and consensual. Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.
This is one of a few blogs that were published by Yoga Girl at her website at http://flr101.blogspot.com. This site is now offline but all credit goes to her. There were no archived comments but feel free to leave your own comment!