This is one that works especially well for the husbands that aren’t great about opening up about their fantasies and their feelings. It works by getting them out of their head and into the character or scenario that they find arousing. We will start with the assumption that your husband is locked up safe and sound and has been for at at least a few days. Long enough that he is in a submissive headspace, with touching, compliments, doors being opened for you. Yep, you know what I mean.
Two things will be true when he is in this headspace. Number one, he is very frustrated and in a constant state of arousal. Number two, he is laser focused on pleasing you and ensuring that you are satisfied by him. You’ve already no doubt used this to your advantage in terms of massages, oral sex and whatever else you may desire. Now let’s try to use his submissive headspace to get him to open up emotionally.
Presumably you’ve mulled around some conversations that you don’t feel he is fully invested in. This might be some form of non-monogamy, perhaps pegging or some other fantasy. Take a preconceived assumption about a fantasy that you share and make him convince you that he wants it. If he successfully steps into character and does a good job, he gets released. If not, he stays locked.
Here are a few ways to start it:
Wife: Want me to unlock you?
Husband: This feels like a trick, but …yes
Wife: No trick, but you just have to do one thing for me. You know how we’ve been talking about that wife-sharing thing while we are on holiday? Remember you you said it would be a turn on to share me with another guy while you watch. Convince me that you want it. Tell me how the night would go. If you make me want it by the time you are done then I unlock you. Easy as that. And, go.
Wife: Hey babe, remember that strap-on I said I was going to buy? Convince me that you want me to peg you and I’ll unlock you early. Do a bad job and I’ll double the time I was going to keep you locked. What do you say, want to role play?
Husband: *Gulp* Yes…
My recommendation is that the first time he stays locked because “it just wasn’t convincing enough” unless he absolutely blows your socks off. This will make him up his game the second time you try it and it also ensures that he knows this isn’t just a game.
Psychologically, this gives him a guise of acting to really express his feelings and fantasies in a way that he may not otherwise feel comfortable. He may be afraid of your reaction or he may even be afraid that you will agree to it. Whether he succeeds or fails, make sure to touch base afterwards and tell him that he did a wonderful job. Tell him that his story was hot and ask if he really feels the way he described or if he was just acting. If he says that it was partly true, ask him which parts turned him on the most.
If you didn’t think your guy was a good storyteller, you are in for a treat. Sometimes he just needs some inspiration or perhaps some skin in the game ?. This also works with an unlocked guy and you can both trade stories and fantasies but the magic is in the lock and in the submissive frame of mind.
This is great advice, can’t wait to try it for a whole range of topics that we have been reluctant to open up about. I have been trying to come up with a way to promote more conversation (by me), this will be a great incentive.