How to cultivate a healthy cuckold relationship.

Some may look at the title of this blog and ask how I can say healthy and cuckold in the same sentence. For those, I invite you to continue reading with an open mind. If you didn’t scoff at the title of the blog, you are already prepared. Good job. There isn’t a rule book for cuckold relationships but if the internet is to be believed, the worthless husband is trampled on, spat upon and humiliated at every turn and he loves it and craves more. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In a cuckold relationship, the cuckold husband is the pillar of the relationship. The husband is the the emotional connection that allows the relationship to flourish, he is one who will be there to care for her when she is sick, he will be there when she needs someone to confide in. With the husband, there is a deep love but with her boyfriends or bull(s) there is an attraction and a chemistry.

Sexualize Denial

What does cuckolding take away from your husband? Make a list of those things and sexualize them. Cuckolding takes away sexual exclusivity, the shattered fantasy of a cuckold marriage is that he is the only man you desire, your time. Sexualizing denial is achieved in many ways but the best is to verbally state the obvious about denying him. Tonight is Tuesday, our date night but tonight I’ll be spending it with a different man. How do you feel about being replaced by someone else on our normal night? Without taking something from him, there is no cuckoldry. If you have a sexual relationship with your husband, be very descriptive about what the bull is getting that he is not. If you have a non-sexual relationship with your husband, be very descriptive about why the bull satisfying needs that he does not. If you simply have a boyfriend and lead a separate life then you will grow apart and eventually the relationship is doomed. Cuckoldry and humiliation is the glue of intimacy that creates a sexual bond where there is not one and holds the two of you together. Make his orgasm or lack of orgasm important to you. If you are adamant that he withhold pleasure as a service to you, that is as arousing to a cuck as the orgasm itself.

Sexualize Reclaiming

Every cuckold relationship needs some sort of reclaiming or you are just roommates leading parallel lives and parallel relationships. Reclaiming can take many forms but it allows the two of you to bond over the sexual experience that you had and minimizes his resentment by sexualizing the experience. Have him him give you oral sex after your date while talking about the things you loved your experience. Make some sort of ritual where you explain why you have a boyfriend/bull and reaffirm the role that your husband plays in your life. You are my best friend, my confidant and we will be together forever but I need sex in a way that you have never been able to provide.

Play Into the Fantasy

The cuckold fantasy derives from a deep sense of not being good enough. If your husband has a history of abandonment including partners, friends and parents leaving this may ring true for cuckold motivation. If your husband has a history of partners, friends, parents and even job abandonment the he may have a heightened sensitivity to something is not good enough about him. Therefore seeing someone who loves him being intimate with someone else confirms the belief that he is inherently not good enough. Its confirmation bias of what you previously believe to be true.

Your husband has sexualized the insecurity of abandonment and the subsequent adrenaline rush of being abandoned provides arousal instead of pain. When he feels insecure about certain aspects of himself, hey may seek validation to cope with those insecurities. By sexualizing his insecurities in the form of cuckoldry, he might believe that they can gain approval, attention, or affection and boost his self-esteem with a sense of validation as a way to mask vulnerability and project confidence where they feel insecurity or uncertainty.

Instead of facing and addressing their insecurities directly, he may choose to focus on sexual interactions or appearances as a way to temporarily escape or numb their emotional discomfort. He may even feel that embracing their sexuality or sexualizing their insecurities is empowering. They may see it as a way to reclaim control over their bodies and identities, especially in societies where sexuality has historically been repressed or stigmatized. However, it’s essential to differentiate between genuine empowerment and using sexualization as a coping mechanism for deeper insecurities.

Cuckolding is in most cases a superficial coping mechanism for temporary relief or distraction from deeper emotional issues. This can create a validation dependency with the ongoing cuckolding fetish. While this is escapism at its finest, it isn’t inherently bad. Open communication with your partner to ensure that you both are self aware about the role that cuckolding plays and that it lives in a healthy mental state for him.

How Can I Sexualize My Cuckold Marriage?

• Take the focus away from the bull, explain that it isn’t about the bull or boyfriend being exceptional lover, it is about the husband being a very unexceptional lover.
• Remove his hormonal ability to sexualize the sitaution by making him masturbate to completion before cuckolding him. This forces him to experience his feelings directly rather than through a sexy lens.
• Try with and without a chastity cage.
• Use erotic humiliation about sensitive topics regarding his penis size (SPH) and sexual performance.
• Go shopping for clothing for dates together with constant reminders the clothing is not for him to enjoy seeing you in.
• Plan getaways and staycations with and without your bull/boyfriend.
• Make him an active participant in finding you a bull or boyfriend that meets your approval. He will likely choose the man that most triggers his insecurities and you might be surprised how well he knows your “type”.
• When you are with him sexually, remind him how much you would rather be with anyone else.
• Turn on the tv to watch porn because he isn’t going to be capable of getting you in the mood.
• Have him cum on his own body and sit until it dries, make fun of the pathetic mess he made, his small amount of cum and tiny cock. Remember that he is extremely vulnerable to emotion right after cumming because he is not clouded by sexualization.

Final Thoughts

You’ve decided on a cuckold marriage and have frequent check-ins to ensure that this cuckold marriage is meeting both of your needs. You are getting the sexual freedom and satisfaction that you crave along with the empowerment of subjugating him and his sexual needs. He in turn is getting his emotional validation dependencies met while still maintaining a strong emotional relationship with you. The two of you should have frequent check-ins to make sure that you are on the same page. Kev and I use a one to ten scale with the following questions.

• How sexually connected do you feel with me on a scale of one to ten?
• How emotionally connected do you feel with me on a scale of one to ten?
• How safe do you feel in our marriage on a scale of one to ten?

We both ask each other these questions constantly and typically they are asked by both of us. Regardless of the approach, have frequent conversations and create a distinct separation of fantasy from reality. Your marriage is reality, anything outside of that is fantasy. If that begins to change, you need to have a very real conversation about how things are changing and which direction you want the changes to go. What do these changes mean for our marraige?