Book Report: Women Who Run with the Wolves a Femdom Perspective🐺🏃‍♀️

When I first picked up Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, I had no idea how much this book would open my eyes, not just to the wild, untamed spirit within every woman, but also to how I could better understand and enrich my own female-led relationship (FLR). This book feels like a map guiding women back to their instinctual, wild selves—the part of us that society tries so hard to suppress. I purchased the book because I hoped it would help reinforce my strong self and help reinforce my strength even on days when I was feeling weak but I realized that the lessons didn’t just apply to empowerment. There was something deeper, more intimate about how this “wild woman” energy could elevate dynamics in my relationship with Kev. If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend it along with a few others that I’ll be reviewing over coming weeks.

Rediscovering My Power

One of the major themes in Women Who Run with the Wolves is the idea that women have a strong, primal power. This “wild woman” energy isn’t about being chaotic—it’s about reclaiming the deepest parts of ourselves that have been buried under society’s expectations especially shame. The idea is to rediscover a raw femininity that commands respect, not just from the world but also within our relationships.

In my journey with Kev, I’ve always seen our relationship as a dance where I lead. But after reading this book, I realized that I’ve only just begun to tap into the potential of what I could bring to our marriage. In a female-led relationship, the power dynamic is everything. Understanding the wild woman archetype made me appreciate that the control I wield isn’t just about authority or decision-making—it’s about embodying an ancient, feminine energy that transcends words. It’s instinctual, its natural and it is powerful.

My desire for female dominance and control in my relationship with Kev is, in many ways, a way of seeking the power that I often feel is missing from my day-to-day life. Like many women, I navigate a world that doesn’t always reward assertiveness or autonomy, and where societal expectations often ask us to be small, accommodating, and quiet. It’s not uncommon for me to feel constrained, whether by work, social norms, or simply the pressure to put others’ needs before my own. So, when I step into the role of dominance within my relationship, it’s like stepping into a space where I can finally own my power, express my desires unapologetically, and feel in control of something deeply meaningful. It’s empowering, not just in the sexual sense, but in a broader way that feeds into my confidence and sense of self.

This power dynamic with Kev gives me the freedom to explore the strength I crave but don’t always get to exercise elsewhere. In our FLR, I’m not confined to the roles society tries to impose on me. Instead, I get to lead, decide, and prioritize my own needs. The beauty of it is that Kev doesn’t just accept this; he embraces it with open arms, providing a foundation of trust and love that allows me to flourish. Through his submission, I’m able to tap into a power I’ve always had inside me but didn’t always know how to access. It’s not about controlling him for the sake of it—it’s about finding balance and fulfilling the deeper need for authority and independence that I can’t always express in other areas of life.

A Reflection of the Wild Woman

Let’s talk about erotic humiliation, something Kev and I have come to love in our relationship. Erotic humiliation has always been a form of play that strengthens our bond, blending vulnerability and power in such a thrilling way but also gives purpose to my need for more primal and physical than Kev can give. But before reading Women Who Run with the Wolves, I viewed it as just that—play. Now, it feels like something more, a connection to deeper primal energy.

Why does erotic humiliation work for us? Why does it turn me on so much? Because it taps into that wild, dominant part of me that doesn’t need to apologize for taking control. The humiliation Kev feels isn’t just about making him feel small or submissive—it’s about reinforcing the natural, instinctual balance of power in our relationship. The wild woman doesn’t shy away from her needs or desires, and erotic humiliation is a way for me to assert that unapologetically. I think that’s why SPH, for me, feels like an affirmation of our dynamic—it’s not about demeaning Kev; it’s about embracing the boldness of my sexuality and letting him find pleasure in surrendering to that power.

Male orgasm control is another aspect of our relationship that came into sharper focus after reading Women Who Run with the Wolves. Orgasm control, especially in a cuckold dynamic, is all about asserting dominance and control over your partner’s pleasure. By controlling Kev’s orgasms, I’m not just denying him physical release—I’m guiding him, nurturing him, and ultimately creating a deeper emotional connection met with guidance and support. A primal mothering instinct that is not only powerful like a matriarch but dominant as a queen.

Estés talks a lot about how women, in their wild, untamed state, have the power to nurture, heal, and transform their partners. When I control Kev’s orgasms, I’m not doing it just for the thrill (though, let’s be honest, that part is amazing). I’m guiding him to a place of surrender, where he learns to trust me completely with his body and his pleasure. It’s about creating a deep, instinctual bond where I lead, and he follows willingly. This dynamic isn’t just about control for the sake of control—it’s about using my feminine power to guide and protect our relationship.

So what about cuckolding? For me, taking a new lover has been about more than just having sex with other men while Kev watches. It’s about tapping into my deepest desires and allowing myself to embrace the fullness of my sexuality. To shed the sexual guilt and suppression that society imposes on women. Women Who Run with the Wolves reminded me that sexuality and even promiscuity can be a natural and empowering part of the wild woman’s journey. Society often teaches women to suppress their sexual desires, to feel shame for wanting more than the “norm.” But this book is all about celebrating the wild, untamed parts of ourselves that refuse to be caged. I’m not just indulging in physical pleasure—I’m embracing the wild woman within me who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to take it. Kev’s role in this is just as important. His submission, his acceptance of my power, makes this dynamic possible. It becomes a dance between the wild woman and her partner, where both parties find fulfillment in their roles. For Kev, it is a a form of submission that allows him to express his vulnerability, and enjoy my female energy as a guiding part of our relationship dynamic. He finds pleasure in my pleasure, and that, in itself, is an act of love. The wild woman doesn’t just take—she gives, and Kev’s surrender is a gift that I cherish deeply.

Relationship Lessons

As I set down Women Who Run with the Wolves, I felt this surge of clarity about my relationship. Here’s what I’ve learned, and here’s what I’m bringing back into my dynamic with Kev:

Embrace the Power of Vulnerability: Erotic humiliation isn’t just about making Kev feel submissive—it’s about creating a space where he can be deeply vulnerable with me. The wild woman doesn’t shy away from vulnerability; she embraces it. Moving forward, I plan to deepen this aspect of our relationship by encouraging Kev to open up even more as we connect after our moments of play.

Strengthen Emotional and Sexual Dominance: The male orgasm is an intimate act that connects us on a primal level. From now on, I’m going to focus not just on the physical aspect of control but on how it nurtures our emotional connection. By guiding Kev’s orgasms, I am protecting our bond, and creating a space where he can trust me completely. That’s something I want to continue to cultivate.

Celebrate My Sexuality: Our marriage has always been been a celebration of our connection and my sexual power, but it reminded me that this is a deeply primal and natural expression of the wild woman. I want to continue exploring this dynamic with Kev, allowing myself to fully embrace my desires without shame or hesitation.

Honor the Wild Woman: Ultimately, this book is about reclaiming the parts of ourselves that society tries to suppress. As a woman in a female-led relationship, I’ve already taken steps to embrace my power, but there’s always more to explore. Moving forward, I want to honor the wild woman within me by continuing to push the boundaries of our relationship.

Making it About Me Myself and I

It isn’t about distancing myself from Kev or asserting dominance for the sake of power; it’s about embracing the better, more empowered person I can become with him by my side. The book emphasizes that true strength doesn’t come from isolation, but from nurturing relationships where both partners support and grow together. Kev’s role as a supportive, nurturing partner is vital to my journey, allowing me to explore my wild, untamed femininity while feeling safe, loved and cherished. His willingness to submit and his support for my growth helps me step more confidently into my power, making our relationship stronger, deeper, and more fulfilling for both of us. Through his unwavering love, I’m able to fully embrace the woman I’m meant to be.

Women Who Run with the Wolves is a book that speaks to every woman’s soul, but for those of us in female-led relationships, it holds a special kind of magic. It reminded me that the power dynamics in my relationship with Kev aren’t just about control or dominance—they’re about embracing my wild, instinctual self and allowing that energy to flow into our dynamic. I’m learning to see many aspects of our relationship as extensions of the wild woman’s power, and I couldn’t be more excited to continue exploring them with Kev by my side. ❤️

“But you don’t have to take my word for it” -Levar Burton