Submissive males: Born or made?
I hope this is not a topic previously written about here, but I was wondering what the rest of you thought about this. Judging strictly from my own experience, I would say males who would submit to a FLR, complete with possible enforced male chastity, pegging, and/or cuckolding are made that way about 80% of the time through systematic female domination in their childhood and teen years, with the other 20% simply born that way.
I grew up in a household w/ a domineering mother; though she preformed all the traditional duties of a mother, seemed to take pleasure in humiliating me, and crushing every particle of self confidence and self respect I had. Difficult as this was to deal with, 2 of my female teachers (who were real beauty queens) did the same, often in front of class for all to see; this, plus the fact that I am underendowed (only 4 inches when erect) made me shy and unwilling to approach women. Females in my teen's and 20's seemed to sense both my sexual frustration, and lack of confidence, as a result I was sexually teased and denied on a regular basis. The only relationship I could have with women was that of a beta male - perpetually in the "friend zone" who was tolerated, as long as I helped with routine chores. Not surprisingly, I didn't lose my virginity until I was nearly 30, with a lady trying to tried to hide her disappointment with my lack of size.
The paragraph above about myself is also the story of many males who willingly submit to being in an FLR. So... what say you all? Does the aforementioned 80% - 20% ratio in the top paragraph sound accurate?
Childhood definitely played heavily in how I am as an adult. I can see it in me and I could see it in all the women I had relationships with, and friends I spoken to, and it definitely fits with neural net development and formation but as to ratios, not sure.
I am a little conflicted about it though in relation to FLR and D/s type arrangement. If the dominant person is dominant as a result of trauma or excessive behavior of a powerful force as a child, would it be healthy to continue to play that out and enforce it in an adult relationship? Same goes for the opposite. If a person is sub......
In my case, I had a FLR with my wife but it didn't start that way. It started fairly neutral but we decided to implement a power imbalance. Initially she appeared quite natural to the submissive roll but as we dealt with various issues she had, turned out her father, an asshole alcoholic, had been abusing her. Once we got on top of that, she ended up becoming quite naturally dominant in a really relaxed way.
Oh and by the way, this is not to suggest anything one way or the other with how you are living your life given your childhood, but I feel, maybe wrongly, that it is relevant as a tag along to childhoods playing into adult relationships.
There are different paths to being more submissive in a relationship. Your environment as you stated is one but being an open and accepting person is another. Recognizing someone for their personality, talent, intelligence, ect is another one. If they have a dominant personality you step back and let them shine. Many women have this but just don't realize what it is. They label themselves in a negative way, bossy, bitch, and so on. Then they shy away from it.
My husband had a dominant mother, now he has a dominant wife as well. Both mother and wife are important.
Thank You - This supports my theory that males who grew up with dominant mothers are more more likely to have relationships with dominant wives and girlfriends.
The classic nature versus nurture. I think it can be either/or but I agree that a strong female figure in his formative years makes him crave a strong woman and relationship structure.
my own experience is that i had a strong, controlling mother. my father also had a dominant mother, so he probably sought that out in his wife. So having had a dominant grandmother, mother and now wife, i’d say that i’m most comfortable in any female/male relationship when the woman is in clearly in charge. Even in my work environment, i’ve always preferred to have a female boss (and i have for the last 4 years).
Just something about being told what to do (even something mundane), knowing that i have to do it, and that i’m not strong enough to push back, really turns me on. i love doing routine housework for my wife, and get an almost sexual charge out of it now that i’m in 24x7 chastity. i think she’s actually getting a little weirded out by me continually asking her how i can help around the house and offering to do chores.
I have a strong and dominating mother. I look back and have spoken to my wife about it. She is strong yet not domineering. Oddly, though at times resenting having a dominant mother I became drawn to dominant women. Now, I secretly, or coming out to want to be completely submissive to my wife as a result.
I think I've evolved as a submissive male, rather than been born one or made into one.
I'm bisexual and lost my virginity with another boy in my mid-teens, but then fell in love with a girl at age 18, married at 23 and were still together 30-odd years on.
We were both quite shy at communicating about sex, which led it to be excellent if somewhat vanilla. But, turning 50, I began to have itches I couldn't scratch, and as luck would have it the internet was coming into its own, and everything in imagination and beyond is there for the searching.
Long story short is that I find myself caged and orgasm-free with a dominant wife and a few other kinks and fetishes that fit in very well with FLR. Perhaps I'm playing catch-up, though I don't think a 30-year old me would have been impressed with chastity.