Interesting but Disturbing
I came across an odd statistic today. It was on line and I didn't recognize the journal that had it but if it is true it is somewhat disturbing.
When asked to name their next of kin, over ninety percent of married woman will list either children, siblings, or parents as the next of kin. Almost one hundred percent of married men will lit their wife as next of kin.
Do most women feel no kinship with their husband?
ASsuming the statistic is true, and I have no reason to believe it's not, I suspect it may be because that many wives believe that they will outlive their husbands?
It often seems true that mothers will mentally place their children first.
That has often been true in my marriage. And it generally is seems detrimental to marriage, but I suppose that in our case, we have found some way to made it work.
Not surprised here. In my previous marriage I was on a pedestal until children came around, and then I no longer existed. She for sure wouldn't have named me as a family member even well before "the end". Likewise, even my parents, when challenged with the famous kid question: "Mommy/Daddy, if we were on a sinking boat and you could only save one, who would it be?" My dad said "Your mom, because I swore my love and allegiance to her before God and as much as I love you I have to honor my word to God". My mom said, "I would save you, of course, and if I could jump in and save your sister(s) I would do that next." (my dad didn't even exist in this scenario for her). Honestly, I understood my Dad's answer better (probably just proving I am a guy).
I don't think it is un-natural that the Husband thinks of the Wife first, and the Wife thinks of the rest of the family. It is sad that he doesn't get honorable mention though.
@mstara I suspect you've hit the target here. I do question the statistic a bit (I know that am am my wife's next-of-kin), but even if not literally true, it would not surprise me at all if the general idea is accurate. We know that women generally (with plenty of individual variation, of course) exhibit sounder, more stable judgment than men, especially under stress or pressure. We also know that women generally have broader, stronger social connections both within and outside of the family than men. I'm sure that the average woman can be much more confident than the average man that her sister, daughter, mother or even close friend would understand her values and wishes in a crisis. Married men in particular tend to pour all of their capacity for intimacy into their relationship with their wives (it's certainly true of me) and probably often find it hard to come up with another person they could reasonably hope would understand them this way.
I just noticed an article in one of Steph's magazines. I could relate it to it a little but also found it a little frightening in my case. I hope it is not true across the board. The large print lead for the article was as follows.
Men find nice women attractive. Women find nice men unattractive.
I didn't have time to read the article. Have to get ready to go in just a bit out but I thought I would ask if the ladies here believe that.