Better sex

Posted by: @macy-has-keys

I'm wondering if less frequent sex and keeping him locked longer, would result in better sex for both of us? We are doing Lock-NO for the very first time and I can't imagine the ecstasy we are going to going to experience when it's over! Could that translate to our weekly routine, using denial to have less frequent sex, but more intense sexual experiences? I'm intrigued by this and want to stick my control toes in the water after Lock-No is over

Everyone has their opinions of course, so here's mine, for whatever it may be worth to you.  Granted, all I have to go on is what my Wife and I experienced in our journey thus far, so ....

I think an important thing to determine is what is meant to define "sex".  I know that before orgasm control, tease and denial and increasingly less orgasms for me, sex was defined by whether or not I had came.  And then, before now, when I came, it was all over.  After entering into our lifestyle, where she is in control of it, our definition of sex meant solely that she had an orgasm(s) and that it ended when she was satisfied and had had enough.  Occasionally (less and much less as time went on) I was allowed to have a full-on orgasm, with thrusting and everything else, as well but those have become rare.  Like 3-4 times per year rare.  More often but still infrequent I was given or allowed to have a ruined orgasm.  But in the end, what became certain was that our sex was going to be completely and utterly satisfying for her.  

That sounds awful, doesn't it?  Well, it ain't.  In fact, I feel like I am having the best sex I have ever had in my life.  The minute we separated my cock, and my orgasm from the equation and as the definition of sex, our sex became more and more amazing.  I can genuinely say that when she orgasms that I feel I have had one too.  They became our orgasms and I cherish every single one of them like it was my own.  So yes, less (and less and less) frequent orgasms for me meant better and more intense sex for us.  It works.

As an added bonus, her exertion of her control is the most intoxicating sexual thing for me that we do.  Existing in subspace, for her use and enjoyment is amazing.  I blogged about yesterday in fact.  We have never been happier in all aspects of our lives together.

I hope this helps.

@subhubphx 

Thanks for your input! I've done some reading about the very dynamic you just described. We have never had problems with his orgasm ending the lovemaking session. I usually have a couple of foreplay orgasms and at least 1 PIV orgasm. 

I have also read about, no PIV, PIV but no orgasm allowed, no ejaculation in vagina, etc. I am not wired that way. Just as you get immense sexual pleasure from giving your woman orgasms, I get that same pleasure giving him orgasms- knowing my mouth or vagina gives him that pleasure is amazing. As far as PIV goes, he fills me, stretches me, and rubs me in the most perfect way imaginable. I always orgasm from PIV- especially when he orgasms- feeling him cum makes me cum every time! 

So, I don't feel like being the only one having orgasms would be satisfying to me, because his orgasm is so exciting and such an integral part of many of my orgasms. I have even had a few blowjob orgasms over the years. 

So for us, chastity is our way of focusing his sexual energy. No masturbating- all his O's come from me. That element of control was so utilitarian for years, but it has slowly become "intoxicating" as you said, to exercise more control. Hence, our first Lock-No. I don't want to longterm deny him, just stretch the intervals a bit to see if the extra anticipation/longing will make our sex better. 

Speaking only for us, I think it is an issue that will resolve itself. As you get older together, frequency will likely decrease and intensity will likely increase.  great question, anxious to hear other responses.  

@macy-has-keys   Your relationship sounds amazing.  Congratulations.

Posted by: @macy-has-keys

I am not wired that way. Just as you get immense sexual pleasure from giving your woman orgasms, I get that same pleasure giving him orgasms- knowing my mouth or vagina gives him that pleasure is amazing.

Love this!  By all means, go the way you are wired.

@Macy has keys

We found over the years that I could sense when Dave was pretty much back to full testosterone level and so we started spacing his orgasms to take advantage of that.  We found his orgasms were more intense and stronger.  This is the primary, now maybe even sole, reason for our use of chastity although it actually started to keep him from masturbating while I was on my period.  That was what led us to realize that denial periods between his orgasms made them better for him.  Also, the more times I take us to the edge and the more I extend the love making process the better both our orgasms are. Then we make sensual love for as much as an hour.  

The nights in between orgasms are sensual love making but he will usually still give me either oral or manual orgasms.  It is important that I make sure he feels all the sensual love I feel on the NO "O" nights. 

Posted by: @steph

We found his orgasms were more intense and stronger.  This is the primary, now maybe even sole, reason for our use of chastity

Posted by: @steph

denial periods between his orgasms made them better for him. 

Yes! I relate those denial periods to when we were dating and would only see each other on a weekly basis. We agree the orgasms seemed better for him at the time. This is where I'm intrigued with exerting more control. Not just unlocking him whenever he wants, or necessarily whenever I want either. Extending the intervals to better the O's and to use the interval to create a sense longing for intimacy between us. How long are your typical intervals?

Dave is now fifty four pushing fifty five.  We have been on an every other Saturday for a few years.  A ten day schedule would probably work except with the length of time we take making love and wanting to snuggle some the next morning, Saturday night works better than a week night.  

From age about forty to almost fifty it was every Saturday and before that it was about three days.  As he has aged it takes longer for him to recover.  We have not tried any testosterone supplements or anything like that.  Just don't believe they are a good thing for the body overall.  

There are times when I would like to sneak in an extra Saturday but this works so well I am afraid to mess with our schedule.

Posted by: @steph

We have been on an every other Saturday for a few years.

Does he ever want sex more often than that and how do you handle it?

Posted by: @steph

We have not tried any testosterone supplements or anything like that.  Just don't believe they are a good thing for the body overall.  

S just got tested and he is low. We are thinking about pellets but haven't decided yet. Injections seem like a pain

@macy-has-keys 

Starting TRT can be a life changer.  I have been on T now for several years and it has effected me immensely. I feel so much better in almost all aspects. 

I started out taking one large injection every two weeks, and continually road a wave of hormone high and lows. Even in the beginning I could tell when my T was getting low. I asked the Dr if I could take a smaller injection once a week and she agreed. 

I give myself the injections. I admit it takes a bit of fortitude to do it but it’s really no big deal. For me, shots are the best option. 

He was a firefighter for 25 years, so he can easily give himself the shots. I'm looking forward to getting this fixed so he will feel better. What dose are you taking?

Posted by: @macy-has-keys

Posted by: @steph

We have been on an every other Saturday for a few years.

Does he ever want sex more often than that and how do you handle it?

Posted by: @steph

We have not tried any testosterone supplements or anything like that.  Just don't believe they are a good thing for the body overall.  

S just got tested and he is low. We are thinking about pellets but haven't decided yet. Injections seem like a pain

Occasionally Dave would like more orgasms but he understands the reason why we do what we do so it is not a real problem.  

Never had him tested for "T" level.  I am guessing it is lower or at least takes longer to build up due to age which is why we have over the years extended the period between "O,s"  for him.  

Chaste Dreamer may swear by "T" injections but they do have side-effects and since Dave is very healthy and has no strength problems and his desire and orgasms are still very good we have chosen to stay away from supplemental "T."  Just our choice.

New here if you don't mind my jumping in. Note: Not new to chastity, been caged for 5+ years.

Obviously everyone is different but for our dynamic while my Wife/Goddess loves PIV She has also grown to LOVE keeping me denied orgasms (been 3+ years now of an intended real-O); occasionally She'll uncage me and allow penetration but either limit me to a couple strokes or no movement at all as She knows I'm so constantly horny and craving Her that I can't last without blowing. While She misses being bent over and penetrated She prefers keeping me this way and thus 'sacrificing' Herself... We have tried reverse pegging where I wear the strap-on but She prefers the real thing; I do love the mind-fuck of fucking Her but and getting the physical satisfaction on my end and I know how much She loved being bent over and penetrated after She has had an Orgasm so want to give that back to Her but only if we can find a dildo where She likes the 'feel' (have not invested in a VixSkin yet but may; BTW, She is NOT against 'toys' - we have an insane amount...) NOTE: She obviously get's as many orgasms as possible that I LOVE to live thru vicariously...

This denial has my craving for Her is to the point that a friend's wife once said to Her "I wish my husband looked at me the way yours does" (we've been married for 24+ yrs...) So now it's pretty much my mouth & tongue allowed in Her.

Side Note: RE T-Therapy; I'm mid-50's and also self-inject weekly. My Wife also found She was low on T and does pellets (Nurse (she) at my Dr's office is also using T-Therapy - woman can also benefit but obviously much lower target levels). We've both found the benefits not only RE sex/horniness but also overall mood and energy levels.

Best