Building it back up post-orgasm

Posted by: @sgpete

Does anyone have suggestions for building up arousal post-orgasm?

Did you mean to say pre-orgasm ? If not, I think the answer is obvious, Let time take its course.

This forum is about male orgasm control, I think you already know that.

Posted by: @sgpete

Do you have any routines to get back to submissive and super caring towards your SO?

Hi SGPete,

If the goal for you is maximum time in the submissive and super caring state, a solution is not to orgasm 🙂 Second best, spread them out. I found over the years that I prefer the highly aroused state to the few seconds of orgasm so spreading them out for a long time becomes easy and the preferred way of doing things.

As to how to get back to it after? There is a period where you just aren't going to be aroused no matter what because your brain dumped a whole lot of chemicals that dampen the chemicals that create arousal. Once that flushes out, just do a lot of what ever normally gets you aroused is about your best bet.

@brian

I wasn't being too harsh, was I ? I thought people already know the answer to that question.

You are a very kind person.

Another aspect of spreading them out is it enables very intense arousal and some pretty amazing head states to occur that at least for me don't happen with normal sex.

Posted by: @nika

I wasn't being too harsh, was I ?

Lol, no. You are perfect as you are.

Haha, yes, the goal in orgasm denial is not having them. Time is definitely one of the best ways to get back to aroused. Just thinking about ways to proactively encourage getting back there. Like wearing baggy clothing may be a major turn off and wearing something tighter may be more useful to regain the aroused state quicker. 

I certainly relate to the amazing head states that occur. Spacing out orgasms has a major effect on that state. Once in two weeks leaves me desperate for another one immediately following, almost hornier.

Posted by: @sgpete

Does anyone have suggestions for building up arousal post-orgasm? Do you have any routines to get back to submissive and super caring towards your SO? For context, we use self control most of the time.

For instance, wearing clothing that makes you more aroused, edging a couple times, fun-ishments, etc.

IMHO - 48 hours is normally all that's required. Most men build up their urge by that time. Male libido is a direct reflection of a man's state of health; so make smart food choices, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. 

@sgpete Any reminder helps me. Sometimes, it just starts that process of getting back there. Sometimes, it snaps me back there almost immediately. For example:

• She looks at me. Bats her eyelashes at me. Knowingly. She slowly says "rub my feet" while batting her eyelashes. My mind is gone at that point, and I'm just a puddle of putty on the floor ...
• She gets angry. No idea why this works so effectively, but damn! If she loses her temper with me, all bets are off. I just realize how little control / resistance I have, because I'm incapable now of talking back or arguing, so I just completely fold. Puddle of putty.

Really, anything that reminds me of where we were, and where I want to get back to. Sternness, teasing, telling me to do something, whatever ... they're all triggers. I can feel it now, just thinking about it (and it's only been a few hours).

Posted by: @sgpete

Does anyone have suggestions for building up arousal post-orgasm? Do you have any routines to get back to submissive and super caring towards your SO?

It might seem rudimentary but after struggling with natural dilemma, Mistress K. (my Wife) finally gave up worrying about and would no longer allow for my "lack of interest" to be her problem.  She simply expects me to power through.  That said, hormones are a powerful and sometimes I don't always meet her standard, in which case I am soundly spanked for what amounts to my unacceptable behavior.  That seems to always solve the problem even if it is a mere few hours I've had an orgasm.

I must say I'm a little bit lost here....

I have the dominant role in our marriage, I control the dynamics of our sex life and control my dearest hubby's cock via chastity device and other means.

I grant him a long awaited mind blowing orgasm when I decide he needs one and he is happy and thankful.

I agree, after orgasm he is a little bit downie and cranky and he finds it hard to get aroused.

...... but I fail to understand how is it my problem?    He can take as long as he wants to find his arousal.......but.....

1.  He knows perfectly well, what I expect and what he should do to please and pleasure me.  2. He knows from past experience, that I see no justification for change in desire and attentiveness because he happened to get an orgasm.    3. I give him positive incentives via teasing and motivation through consequences and demerits should he fail to keep standards.

I must say, incentives and motivators really help keep things balanced.

Posted by: @jillags

..... but I fail to understand how is it my problem?    He can take as long as he wants to find his arousal.......but.....

Just this.  Very nicely said Jillags

Posted by: @jillags

2. He knows from past experience, that I see no justification for change in desire and attentiveness because he happened to get an orgasm. 

This is also the very basic underlying rule in our house.  Ms. K. doesn't and shouldn't have to adjust her expectations around changes in attitude, desire, or whatever as a result her allowing me to have one.  Nature is what nature is for men, yes, but if she were to allow for it be her problem, whose leading who?

P.S.  I love your Tumblr account.  Big fan and follower.

@subhubphx 

Tnx,

There is also one on bdsmlr, but it's less maintained as I find the site too extreme/aggressive for me at times....

Posted by: @jillags

@subhubphx 

Tnx,

There is also one on bdsmlr, but it's less maintained as I find the site too extreme/aggressive for me at times....

@jillags the hint is in the name ?

Are you looking for arousal or to get back into that loving, attentive state where it is all about your partner.  Dave has his orgasms now every other Saturday night and we spend and hour or so after being lovey and talking and I eventually make him give me another oral.  When we wake up the next morning I make sure to cuddle with him and show him I love him and he responds in kind.  By showing him continuing love and in a way requiring him to reciprocate he has no down period.  It takes some effort on my part but the rewards make it worth the effort.  Dave makes everything about me all the time.  After his orgasm or the two weeks in between when it is just about intimacy.