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Contradictions

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Ms Purple
(@tmbm)
Posts: 10
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

How to get the balance with orgasm control (chastity) on one side and my satisfaction by watching my husband reach climax / get orgasm on the other side? I practice orgasm control and experience many positive effects of this. I know I can ask for anything at any time from my husband. Not only sexually, but also all of the practical tasks. We have developed our new dynamics over approx. 15 months. I still find it satisfying to let my husband have an orgasm. Have not quite managed to get used to all the focus on me, although I like it very much. Does anyone have any tips on these incompatible desires / contradictions?

 

 
Posted : 20/02/2022 11:55 am
Sam, Sam and Sam reacted
Jillags
(@jillags)
Posts: 12
Trusted Member
 

I must admit that before my dearest hubby introduced me to chastity, orgasm control and wife dominance, I lived under the false impression that it's "my job" to satisfy hubby.

As I've previously stated, It's most probably has to do with my upbringing, education and conservative set expectations.

It took me over a year to get to the point I feel completely comfortable, leading our marriage and controlling hubby's orgasms and now my cock.

However, as you said before, I enjoy and it gives me womanly satisfaction to make hubby cum, so I just do, I find no contradiction here and I don't let it interfere with my control.

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I will choose when, how and the level of satisfaction or frustration I want hubby to get.

If he begs for release, he probably won't get it.

If I feel he deserves an orgasm, I will give him the most satisfying one because I love him so.

....and if he annoyed me, or I feel mischievous and want to add to his frustration and need, I unexpectedly, jerk him off and make him cum the fastest I can and ruin it.

My tip, don't consider it as a contradiction rather as an opportunity....

 
Posted : 20/02/2022 12:55 pm
TinCup, manto2021, Ms Purple and 12 people reacted
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 930
Member
 
Posted by: @tmbm

I still find it satisfying to let my husband have an orgasm. Have not quite managed to get used to all the focus on me, although I like it very much. Does anyone have any tips on these incompatible desires / contradictions?

I think it might be helpful to fully understand that your husband gets a tremendous amount of real, deep, incredible pleasure from the joy of the focus being on you, and you developing a comfort with that.  

 
Posted : 21/02/2022 6:50 am
TinCup, Ms Purple, TinCup and 3 people reacted
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 930
Member
 
Posted by: @jillags

I must admit that before my dearest hubby introduced me to chastity, orgasm control and wife dominance, I lived under the false impression that it's "my job" to satisfy hubby.

As I've previously stated, It's most probably has to do with my upbringing, education and conservative set expectations.

It took me over a year to get to the point I feel completely comfortable, leading our marriage and controlling hubby's orgasms and now my cock.

However, as you said before, I enjoy and it gives me womanly satisfaction to make hubby cum, so I just do, I find no contradiction here and I don't let it interfere with my control.

I will choose when, how and the level of satisfaction or frustration I want hubby to get.

If he begs for release, he probably won't get it.

If I feel he deserves an orgasm, I will give him the most satisfying one because I love him so.

....and if he annoyed me, or I feel mischievous and want to add to his frustration and need, I unexpectedly, jerk him off and make him cum the fastest I can and ruin it.

My tip, don't consider it as a contradiction rather as an opportunity....

Wise words!  This is excellent!

 
Posted : 21/02/2022 7:03 am
Deleted User
(@deleted-user)
Posts: 213
Honorable Member
 

I think my wife is working through these feelings too. She is absolutely loving the focus being on pleasing her and satisfying her needs (both sexual and otherwise). She has become so much more relaxed, confident, and playful because she isn’t feeling pressured anymore. At the same time, she feels guilty occasionally that so much focus is on her. 

She enjoys making me orgasm. Sometimes deliberately making me when she knows I’m trying to resist going over the edge. She also doesn’t want to be too selfish and is worried she might upset me by denying my orgasms for too long or during sex.

I reassure her that I’m loving everything we’re doing and she seems to be embracing a little more power every day. For me, and probably most men here, the hottest part of this is giving up the complete control of your orgasms to your wife so you can satisfy her. 

Which means only cumming for her when she wants, how she wants, and as often as she wants. 

So I say make your husband orgasm whenever you want if it brings you enjoyment. You’re the one in control. If he wants to be denied but you want to make him orgasm, do it! If he wants to orgasm but you want to deny him, do it!

He’ll be just fine either way when you explain that it’s not up to him anymore. 

 
Posted : 03/03/2022 12:24 pm
TinCup, AllAboutHer, TinCup and 3 people reacted
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 930
Member
 
Posted by: @locked4_wife

At the same time, she feels guilty occasionally that so much focus is on her. 

This is going to be the hardest thing for her to wrestle with.  It gets better as times goes on.  Hang in there.  

Posted by: @locked4_wife

She also doesn’t want to be too selfish and is worried she might upset me by denying my orgasms for too long or during sex.

As she feels more and more comfortable knowing that it doesn't (and shouldn't) make you upset, she will also better understand that being selfish is a good thing.  Not mean, uncaring, ignoring kind of selfish, but the kind of selfish that allows her to be in TOTAL control of if, when and how you and she realizes her sexual pleasure.  

Posted by: @locked4_wife

So I say make your husband orgasm whenever you want if it brings you enjoyment.

Agree with this totally, assuming she is not confusing enjoyment for her with feelings of guilt and obligation about his orgasm.  Having the focus of sexual pleasure being TOTALLY focused on her means that their sex can successfully evolve from being penis centric, to her absolute bliss, which will in turn give immense pleasure to both.  Trust me, I've been there.

Posted by: @locked4_wife

He’ll be just fine either way when you explain that it’s not up to him anymore. 

Solid advice!

"It's just my opinion, I could be wrong."  -  Dennis Miller


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Posted : 04/03/2022 8:42 am

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