Denial/chastity leads to PE

Posted by: @wifeisqueenstl

Hi all! This is my 1st post here after discovering Emma's wonderful site a few months ago. Hoping to get some feedback on something I've been experiencing recently - or should say it's been more noticeable recently. 

But first, a quick intro and a little background. I'm a 40 yo man very happily married to my wife for 11 years. After years of subtle (and poor) attempts to "nudge" my wife into exploring my femdom fantasies, one night after a few to many drinks I emailed my wife a link to a Literotica story about "Activities for your submissive male". About 24 hours later, and after a long chat, my wife fucked my ass with her pink and rather large vibrating dildo, before making me jerk off on her stomach/chest and lick it up. That was a little over 3 years ago, and we've explored off and on since then as time (kids) and desire allows. But I'll save all the details for another day/post, and get to my current situation. 

About 18 months ago we began exploring orgasm control, and have played around with chastity some during that time. While masturbation was never a problem, I have given up that privilege (unless permitted by wife) and have probably masturbated <5 times in last 18 months. My periods of orgasm denial generally run from 1-3 weeks - not planned, but rather depend on wife's needs or if she thinks I need a release.

A few days into October I sent her a link to Emma's Locktober post, and she decided that sounded fun. So we were off, albeit with a late start. At end of 1st week the seams of my (2nd) plastic cage began to bust, so it was quickly removed and wife decided it was time for metal. So I was on honor system for a week before new cage arrived, and thankfully it was a near-perfect fit and stayed on for the next 2 weeks (excl. a quick trip to the chiro). My 31 days were coming to an end on Sunday, and we just happened to get an overnight babysitter for Saturday. After a fun night out on the town and lots of drinks, I gave her a full body massage and then worshipped her ass with my tongue as she dozed off (passed out).

The next morning I woke up before her and had plenty of time to work myself into a frenzy. I went to check on her at 9:00 and she decided she needed to pee, and in my Locktober haze I asked her to use my mouth (this has become a fairly routine activity, but until then only after a night of drinking). She agreed and so I laid down in the tub while she unloaded. Afterwards she went back to bed and told me to wake her at 10:00. When I went back in she removed my cage and then asked me to massage her again, and knowing my situation (and how sexually sensitive I am in the a.m. anyway) told me that it was OK for me to cum from massaging her, and to just shoot it on her back, but that I was to "clean" it up. Well, after working my way from her back down to her feet and back up, with no sexual touching and no stimulus to my little guy, I absolutely covered her back. However, she let me off the hook from cleanup duty (familiar story - I lose interest after cumming, she doesn't always follow through).

A few days later she decided she wanted some post-Locktober PIV - I was happy to comply, and even got her to one orgasm, but apparently didn't make it long enough because she then had me put strapon on and continue. 

Fast-forward one week, we're getting ready for bed and I asked if she'd like some PIV. She said yes, but by the time we were undressed and in position, I could tell I wasn't going to last long. She said that was OK and had me lie next to her while she stroked me to orgasm. 

Fast forward another week, and about 5 days into being re-caged, and I woke up very horny, which of course led to me massaging my wife's back, unprompted. After working my way down to her gluts/hamstrings, I started to get that old familiar feeling and before I knew what happened, I emptied my load all over my wife's ass, cage still on and zero physical stimulus...

Does it seem normal that I've gotten to that point? Just to be clear, no history of premature ejaculation here.

Long intro, I know,, but couldn't stop once I started typing 🙂 Happy to be hear and look forward to future discussion!

I don't think this is unusual. Caged males who've been denied an orgasm for a time experience this. JMHO - As your body gets used to being teased and denied, this will happen less often.   

To be clear, I'm not necessarily concerned about it being a problem, but rather curious about others' experiences. 

After checking in with my wife to make sure she's OK with it, given the impact on her - she's a PIV girl, and (unfortunately) not the biggest fan of receiving oral, though she occasionally humors me - she assured me she is, and then proceeded to put me back in my cage despite already being on day 7 since last orgasm...

I'm just shocked that my stamina has fallen off as much as it has...almost like being a virgin again. ?  

I used to have a similar problem - my KH likes back massages and ass worship. I found putting myself on all fours as I went down on her meant I was not able to stimulate myself in any way. We’ve followed Emma’s advice on separating PIV from ejaculation and with regular training this is no longer an issue for us.

I used to have a similar problem - my KH likes back massages and ass worship. I found putting myself on all fours as I went down on her meant I was not able to stimulate myself in any way. We’ve followed Emma’s advice on separating PIV from ejaculation and with regular training this is no longer an issue for us.

You’re not alone. Once I began to get used to having orgasms only with my wife, my ability to control myself has really declined. I have to be careful about my body position when I go down on her. If there’s some contact of my cock on the mattress, for example, it might take me over the edge, often simultaneously with her climax. When we have PIV sex, I last a lot less than I used to. The brain is definitely the biggest sex organ. My wife actually feels quite amused and also good about herself when this happens.