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Chastity & Orgasm Denial
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Topic starter
Ladies - Some of you may already know this, but for those who don't; a comfortable chastity lock up duration is not always good. If a man is repeatedly locked in a chastity cage for 7 - 10 day periods, then allowed a release, his body will get used to this, sexual frustration and tension will subside, and your once obedient and submissive guy will become less so. Pushing the duration boundaries, or keeping them a secret, will go a long way in keeping his focus on you. Males who are kept hard for women (and denied) focus on pleasing their ladies. So, don't let him get too comfortable. ?
Shhhhhhhh!!!!
whats wrong with you?! My wife might hear this! ?????
Posted : 17/10/2021 12:16 pm
This is part of the reason neither Dave nor I understand the submissive male. If you are truly submissive and truly love your partner, wouldn’t you naturally want to please her all the time. Yet you say that it is the sexual frustration of not knowing when you will get a release is the prime reason you focus on your partner. I would have thought that as a submissive who worships his partner your desire would be to please her all the time. Why isn’t focusing on her more about your love for her than your sexual energy or desire.
Dave is not particularly submissive except in the bedroom and he showers me with attention daily and it doesn’t matter whether it is day one or day thirteen or his lucky day fourteen. We talk and do things together and he helps with all the house work and shows me he loves me in so many ways. The events of the day at work and the like have much more to do with our daily interaction than chastity or sex.
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The chastity is solely about our love making. It gives me control of the bedroom all fourteen nights and it was what allowed me to teach him to make love rather than have sex. The thirteen days in between his orgasms he shows me the same loving attention all thirteen days and it is always what I feel I need that particular night. He reads my signals well and usually I like to keep it very sensual although I usually do get an oral orgasm
Posted : 17/10/2021 4:28 pm
Topic starter
This is part of the reason neither Dave nor I understand the submissive male. If you are truly submissive and truly love your partner, wouldn’t you naturally want to please her all the time. Yet you say that it is the sexual frustration of not knowing when you will get a release is the prime reason you focus on your partner. I would have thought that as a submissive who worships his partner your desire would be to please her all the time. Why isn’t focusing on her more about your love for her than your sexual energy or desire.
Dave is not particularly submissive except in the bedroom and he showers me with attention daily and it doesn’t matter whether it is day one or day thirteen or his lucky day fourteen. We talk and do things together and he helps with all the house work and shows me he loves me in so many ways. The events of the day at work and the like have much more to do with our daily interaction than chastity or sex.
The chastity is solely about our love making. It gives me control of the bedroom all fourteen nights and it was what allowed me to teach him to make love rather than have sex. The thirteen days in between his orgasms he shows me the same loving attention all thirteen days and it is always what I feel I need that particular night. He reads my signals well and usually I like to keep it very sensual although I usually do get an oral orgasm
Yet you say that it is the sexual frustration of not knowing when you will get a release is the prime reason you focus on your partner.
That's not exactly what I was trying to convey Steph - Sexual tension and/or frustration is one reason to focus on his partner, not necessarily the prime reason. If you and your man are happy with your situation as it is, then good for you, but for other ladies here who want a more dominant role, then my idea of extending the chastity session durations may be for them.
Last I checked the title of this site was: Evolving your Man - Empowering Her to Lead Him. ?
I guess what I don’t understand is why chastity has anything at all to do with the attention you focus on the woman you worship. This is something you do out of love. Because you enjoy seeing her happy. I hope it is not quid pro quo where she lets you orgasm and you give her attention. So I still don't understand the dynamic.
I can understand how not knowing when you might get release and an orgasm could increase the frustration and anticipation and even the intensity of the event when it happens. But I would hope that your feelings for your partner and wanting to please her would be independent of whether or not you were going to get sex tonight or a week from tonight or at some unknown time. If you knew you were never going to get released I would expect that there would be some resentment and would change your love and attention but that would be the extreme.
If you were trying to goad me or remind me that we are not really kinky enough for this site let me add this. It says Empowering Her to Lead Him. It does not say Empowering Her to Dominate Him. Please don’t get upset. Just having a little fun with you.
Posted : 18/10/2021 2:24 pm
Speaking only for myself ...
Chastity gets me into a state of mind where I am no longer the most important person in the universe. Inside my own skull, I always have been the most important person in the universe. Chastity is a lever that bends me out of that place, and bends me into a different shape, where my wife becomes the most important person in the universe, and I fall in line wherever she thinks I should fall into the line.
Of course I love her, with or without it. But it's a lever of unlimited force, and it helps to reshape my values, my priorities, and so on. And she does like the results.
Speaking only for myself ...
Chastity gets me into a state of mind where I am no longer the most important person in the universe. Inside my own skull, I always have been the most important person in the universe. Chastity is a lever that bends me out of that place, and bends me into a different shape, where my wife becomes the most important person in the universe, and I fall in line wherever she thinks I should fall into the line.
Of course I love her, with or without it. But it's a lever of unlimited force, and it helps to reshape my values, my priorities, and so on. And she does like the results.
That helps me understand what is happening.
The beginning of our relationship was unique. Dave was the first man who ever treated me with respect or even nicely. I had always been the hot chic you love and leave. I was the first non-family member who ever treated Dave like he was a person that was likable. He was bullied in school by everyone including some teachers. From the beginning we have both always considered the other one as the most important person in the world. I still have twinges of my “narcissistic me” from my cheerleader days but except for when we are just fooling around I put Dave first. When we are together my life is about him and his life is about me. Maybe our strange beginning was a true blessing. We each appreciated what we had found from that first oddball date.
If chastity is the tool that helps control an ego where you think of yourself first more than is good I can understand that.
