A little introduction
My name is Julie from France, I'm 35 years old.
First of all, I would like to congratulate the author of the blog who deals a lot with the psychological phase of chastity, which I find very interesting and often little developed on other sites to the benefit of technical developments.
So I have been married for 10 years and my husband and I went through a rather complicated phase after the arrival of our first child.
When Monsieur spoke to me about chastity to revive our couple I was reluctant at the beginning, but we have been practicing it for 4 years now and I have no regrets.
Our relationship has evolved a lot during these 4 years and my husband now carries his cage almost continuously (he has the right to about one release every 15 days).
For my part, I feel much better in my skin, I find that the mental load of our couple has balanced itself out and that we gain in confidence and communication a little more each day of chastity.
In short, I am a happy woman ready to comment the articles or to exchange with those who wish it.
Welcome Julie. Always nice to see new faces, your english is very good. My wife and I are in a similar stage of life as you and your husband. We have been together for over a decade as well, but have only been practicing chastity for about a year. I have found that chastity and fatherhood have been a good mix, I am more energetic and playful with our child. Also I get to be dedicated to my wife while she is pregnant now, which has been a wonderful experience.
I look forward to hearing some of your thoughts.
Hello and thank you @Vikter
It's nice to be able to exchange with other people who have the same practices. That's what I was looking for when I came here.
It seems to me that unfortunately chastity is less practiced (or you at least, less commented) in France than in English-speaking countries.
I hope that you and your wife have also found a good balance in your relationship.
@ruined-julie I agree it is very nice to have a place for conversation. To be honest, I don't know how common chastity truly is where I am. None of my friends or coworkers have ever brought it up, nor did I read literature about it until I found Emma's site. I found my way here through the "wrong way" (femdom porn etc). After I wanted to find more real options we were able to move forward in healthy way and grow into a stronger relationship than before. For which I am very grateful, it is nice to be in a place where I can focus my wife and family.
Welcome to the site! I'll echo Vikter's comment that your english is excellent. Chastity is not mainstream in my area as well. A few of my friends were aware of it but only one of them has admitted to actively practicing chastity with their significant other. I really wish it was more mainstream and less fetishized than it currently is. Chastity for us, has been a way of life and it truly does help us focus on ensuring that the needs of each other are first and foremost.
Thank you for contributing and I look forward to hearing more about your journey with the Monsieur!
Thank you for the warm welcome Emma and congratulaions for your blog. I really love it !
I am not bilingual so I hope I won't make too many mistakes.
I don't know anyone in my entourage practicing chastity and the subject is not very widespread in French forums except on sites practicing a very hard chastity (ultra dominant women belittling their husbands) which is not our credo although I am rather dominant in our couple. But well it does not come from chastity as I was already before. If you want to know more about us, don't hesitate to ask questions. It's nice to be able to exchange with other people about their lives, their experiences.
@vikter, I've had a bit of the same problem here. Chastity sites only echo demeaning practices for men, something we can do with my husband by playing games, but I don't see that as a basis for our couple's life.
@ruined-julie Welcome to our website. Hoping to read about your experiences! We too are both exploring this lifestyle for fun and aren't serious about a dom-sub relationship. That is why I like this website compared to the tonnes out there that just talk about demeaning men (nothing wrong with that in a consensual setup) but it is not for us.
@ruined-julie When I was learning about female led relationships and how I wanted to model my relationship, that is all I was able to find. BDSM black leather, whips, chains and the like.
That stuff is all great but I wanted something that works in everyday life. I want a more 50/50 relationship with Kev and I want to make sure that his needs are met as well. Fantasy and role play can be fun at times but it is just that, fantasy and role play. What happens when you come back to reality and want something that you can bring with you.
We've tried everything from spanking, pegging and everything in between and the site is an evolution of my man and to a greater extent, myself. It is an introspective look at my journey into one little relationship over here in the USA. Hopefully I can add something to you and your relationship with your Monsieur.
You're totally right, and I totally get what you're saying. I can be meaner with my husband, more domineering as well, but it's all in the context of occasional sex games.
For us, male chastity is more than just a game. It is the way of life that we have adopted and in which we have found a balance and a second wind for our couple.
@ruined-julie I have a couple questions for you if you don't mind.
You mentioned that in addition to your husband, you have a boyfriend/friend with benefits. Just curious to know more information about that. How does your husband feel about the situation? Do the three of you interact together or is the boyfriend completely separate.
Your husband is permitted a release every 15 days, how did you settle on this time? What happens if you use a longer time? A shorter time? Kevin is currently at about 7 days and that is working well.
Like many of us here we had to find our way with chastity and how it would fit into our lives and to what level of 'dominance' we wanted to take it too. We've always been pretty equal in the main decision making so I never felt I didn't have my say and to be honest my opinion would carry the day if we disagreed on anything.
Looking back now I'm not sure if that was an early indication that we were in a type of FLR.
But last year I decided to have a consultation with a pro Domme. I just wanted to have a frank conversation to sift out the stuff we've all seen on the hard core websites and the real stuff. Whilst I didn't have an epiphany, it was useful for understanding my man from someone who's career is based around understanding men's psyche. It also was refreshing to hear that there isn't one way to do it, and that actually what ever works for you as a couple is fine and is the right way.
In all honesty it was my husband who "pushed" me to meet other men (cuckolding fantasy) so I had a few adventures outside of our couple.
Today I only have a friend with benefits who knows my husband. My husband is usually not present when this friend and I meet (although this does happen sometimes) and they both have a cordial or even friendly relationship.
In terms of release 15 days is an average. We usually do that because that's about what I consider to be the limit. Sometimes I reduce this time or on the contrary extend it when I feel in a really playful mood and I want to tease him a lot. In any case, we've never pushed it beyond a month and a half.
Do not hesitate if you had any other question.
Yes, that's absolutely right.
On our side, the level of dominance I show in the couple is variable geometry. By that I mean that I always remain the decision force of our couple but that the intensity of my teasing and affiliated games will vary considerably according to my mood of the moment, my general mental load, the amount of work done during the day due to the fact that our child is more or less cool. In short, a whole bunch of factors come into play, but all in all it's just as enjoyable because he never really knows what kind of woman he's going to find when he gets home at night.
That makes total sense. One other thing that I am currently struggling with. How much detail about your experiences with the friend to you give your husband? Do you tell him all of the juicy details or do you keep your relationship private and allow him to use his imagination?