Feeling Needed

Long time listener, first time caller. That's how I feel anyway. I have been following your blog for some time Emma and I always find it thought provoking and oddly relevant to my life.

My wife and I have an interesting relationship and with it comes what I feel is a unique set of problems. I consider myself successful and independent. I own my own business and make huge business decisions on a daily basis. I am confident in my success and in my abilities in the workplace. I have a cleaning lady that comes once a week and she does laundry and everything around the house. My wife has always been a wonderful mother and I am still very attracted to her. I bring her flowers from time to time and leave little love notes around the house to make her feel special. Overall we have a wonderful marriage and she has told me the same.

Now that our two children are in their teens, my wife expressed that she doesn't feel as needed around the house. Part of it is rooted in boredom but it is more than that. She is seeing her role changing and she doesn't see herself as valuable to our family. We joked that she is going through post partum depression a dozen years later. 

I expressed my weariness of having to be in charge and on my game all of the time at work and then when I get home so she has taken over more things around the home. I wouldn't say that we've taken on a female led relationship but our household is certainly led by her so by definition I guess it is. I have a very high sex drive and she has never quite been on the same page there. We tried chastity as a game to help us balance our sexual energy and we really enjoyed it. She took to the keyholder role as a way to feel needed and essential. I was answering to her for a change and she held an element of power over me. Pegging took that up a notch and it was scary how emotionally open and vulnerable it made me feel. She feels a new level of sexual energy and empowerment that neither of us could imagine coming on in our forties.

I just wanted to say that I never expected to be the guy with the kinky bedroom secrets but it works for us and we appreciate your site.