Notifications
Clear all
Topic starter
Long time listener, first time caller.
Married young. Still together many years later (in my 40s).
Just trying to make our relationship work, and mostly succeeding. A few years ago, in a typical physical relationship drought, she broke me for good, I think. I gave up and gave in (i was at a breaking point, so it was either that, or divorce her, and I do love her so much, and that's what was making it so hard). Long story short, I gave up, and accepted that when we had sex would now be completely her decision, with no fussing or whining, and I have never pestered or pressured her since. That took a lot of pressure off of her, although it didn't do anything to solve the drought. And I promised to stop masturbating (and to tell her if I ever did), and (this is truly weird) I haven't since. I instantly dropped from 10+ orgasms a week to maybe once a week. Ouch. But she already had me by that point.
And, oh my goodness, now I wouldn't give it up for anything. Seriously. My used-to-be-wandering eyes are now locked on my wife without fail. She is the most beautiful, sexy, alluring woman in the history of humankind. I chase her. If I had the choice of any woman -- any woman at all! -- I would choose her again without hesitation. Not even a second thought.
With all of my extra "energy", I've been actively and consciously working on becoming a better husband ever since. Every day. In every way that I can think of. I so adore my wife. For me, it's just really simple: I'm never more joyful than when she has me wrapped around her finger. That's my new normal. While I absolutely love making love with her, and obviously I enjoy having an orgasm, I loathe what happens afterwards, when I temporarily lose my whatever-it's-called-when-I-can-think-of-nothing-but-her.
Advertisement
Years later, we're still working on figuring stuff out like punishments and lock-ups. (Currently locked. Punishment. I lost my patience for a minute or two while cooking last night.) I lock when I travel, by choice. (Makes for some weird TSA moments. I don't care. I'm locked for my wife, and that's infinitely important to me so I don't care how uncomfortable a position that puts me in.) She loves that, of course, partly because she doesn't have to even worry (I wasn't always so well behaved), and also because I come home completely wrapped around her finger.
All in all, a work still in progress. Could not possibly be happier. Not that everything is always good, but because things have overall never been better.
I love my wife. She's the absolute best.
Posted : 10/03/2021 7:52 am
With all of my extra "energy", I've been actively and consciously working on becoming a better husband ever since. Every day. In every way that I can think of. I so adore my wife. For me, it's just really simple: I'm never more joyful than when she has me wrapped around her finger. That's my new normal. While I absolutely love making love with her, and obviously I enjoy having an orgasm, I loathe what happens afterwards, when I temporarily lose my whatever-it's-called-when-I-can-think-of-nothing-but-her.
This is the classic example of the actual benefits of a WLM/FLR. When there is a paradigm shift in the man that his true source of pleasure comes from the pleasure of his wife/gf (sexual or otherwise), relationship bliss happens. For those that have not experienced what you describe, it's nearly impossible for most people to even comprehend.
I too have come to prefer being denied an orgasm (even though I beg for one every time) because of the drop that happens afterward. in fact, even though my full orgasms are limited to 3-4 per year over the last 8 or so years, I have never had a better sex life ... and neither has my wife.
Years later, we're still working on figuring stuff out like punishments and lock-ups.
It's a beautiful journey that we are on. For us in our marriage, all sexual decisions and most ultimate decision in our marriage are made by Ms. K (my Wife), including punishments. At her whim and at her total discretion. Love, communication and trust are necessary and when you trust your wife with that authority enough to fully submit, bliss happens.
Congratulations on your discovery.
