Hello

How often is he masturbating? How often is he orgasming? Have y’all talked about exploring chastity?

If he has a very high level of stamina like it sounds he may have become desensitized due to too frequent masturbation, orgasms, etc. 

From personal experience my sensitivity went through the roof once my wife starting controlling my orgasms with chastity and forbidding me from masturbating without permission. I have to say our sex life and relationship has never been better. 

@locked4_wife He was masturbating regulary almost daily. If he is true, he isn't mastubating in our relationship. I would permit him, but why should he do. It is really like we are doing mutual masturbation or blowjobs daily.

He has a cage, but told me that it turned out as a fantasy that didn't work and the cage shouldn't fit well. He dislikes to wear it. I don't know if we may should buy an other but how to know the correct size?

What means controlling the orgasm? How often is okay?

Given his daily masturbation, he probably has become desensitized,  which is why using his or your hands work better more friction & pressure on the specific area he needs.  Unless you have 24/7 supervision of him he will find a way to masturbate if you practice controlling his orgasm. Controlling means NOT letting him cum when you have sex. Get all YOU WANT, and can, but don't let him cum. Eventually the delay of not letting him cum will build up, AND him not masturbating will help with his sensitivity.   Also if you do find a cage that fits the additional tease of the cage, and you getting all the sex you want either orally or with hands, and occasionally with piv will increase his desire, and eventually his sensitivity.  Definitely recommend chastity and finding a cage that works. Especially of he's a daily masturbater. 

@princesspeach I tried about three different cages before finding one that I can wear for extended periods of time. So maybe look into the kink3d cages because they are very comfortable. They have sizing guides on their site.

Controlling his orgasms means you decide if, when, and how he orgasms. So it’s really up to you how you do that. 

Using a chastity cage has been great for my marriage in many ways. It sounds like he’s being stimulated so frequently that he has lost sensitivity. There isn’t a magic number for orgasms to have that works for everyone. 

Sorry I can’t give you a good answer. However, I can say that you might be surprised how hot he would find it if you simply ended sex after you were satisfied without allowing him to cum and making him lock up. It’s been incredibly sexy every time my wife has tried that. But maybe talk to him about it first because he may have a very different opinion. 

@princesspeach If you want to go the chastity route, get a cage that has three base rings. Then YOU can play with which one fits properly. It should be tight. Please note that trying chastity is something you both agree on, even if the terms are not necessarily fair. Emma has lots of good articles, here are some starters

10 Chastity Dos & Donts
Taking the Reins
Lock him up for Date Night
Sex Calendar

Maybe another option would be to have him use the fleshlight for 35 minutes (since he takes 45 and you take 15) and then do the PIV. If he is pretty predictable on how long it takes him, then you may just need to adjust how much of a "head start" you permit him.

Hello,

we tried it with him using the fleshlight before we have piv sex, but it didn't work or I am not sure. Maybe it works.  He never cums inside me after using the fleshlight. It was like no effect. But last sunday he cums inside the fleshlight after ~17 minutes. So he cumed "too early".

We talked aboit it and he said that he felt much pressure and that his body was ready to cum, but there is a pressure that was holding back and he didn't really know what to do or how to redo it but he tried to let the pressure fade away and then he cums.

But bad news today it was like all the time. He cannot cum and sits now on the bed and fells the pressure, but nathing helps. I will do a handjob again. I don't know who to fix that.

xoxo PrincessPeach

I wish I had some more advice to share. From my experience I am so much more sensitive after a few days in chastity and my desire for my wife is just amplified exponentially. I hope y’all can figure out a good dynamic that works for you. 

Posted by: @princesspeach

he felt much pressure and that his body was ready to cum,

Pressure to perform is a real thing. It can be powerful to realize intercourse doesn't require cumming.

Posted by: @restrainedlove

Posted by: @princesspeach

he felt much pressure and that his body was ready to cum,

Pressure to perform is a real thing. It can be powerful to realize intercourse doesn't require cumming.

This 100%. The pressure to perform for both partners take away from the intimacy of sex. If an orgasm happens, great. If an orgasm doesn't happen that is fine. There is always next time! You gain true intimacy when you separate the importance of the destination from the thrill of the journey.

Emma is 100% right that you do not want to concentrate on the orgasm.  Concentrate on making love.  

You may want to spend a longer time on foreplay sometimes that gets him closer to orgasm.  It may be a very long time before you ever get to where you orgasm almost together.  Some couples are neve able to achieve that.  It is a wonderful sensation when it happens but it is not a requirement for a very fulfilling intimate sexual experience. 

Try not to worry about who has an orgasm when and instead bask in the passion and intimacy you have when you make love.  As Emma said, love making is a journey not a destination.  His orgasms may actually be better and easier to happen when it only happens once or twice a week.  From the sound of it, he may not need be in a chastity cage to achieve that unless he can't stop masturbating.  If he can understand and has the willpower, he will do better at PIV if he will settle for that one or two orgasms a week.