Hello!

Posted by: @belle

I go by Belle, and I am Jnuts’ wife.   We have a couple of preteens, and started our chastity journey about 10 years ago due to my low sex drive.   It’s been several years since we had a successful cycle, mainly due to some hang ups on my part.  I always start out well, but end up failing miserably.  I can’t keep the tease up, so it doesn’t work for us.  About 2 weeks ago after Jnuts ordered a new cage he came to me saying he wanted to have a FLR.   I have been the one responsible for the house, the work involved with the kids, running a volunteer organization, and owning my own business. He works a mentally demanding job and I have been raised with the “don’t ask for help” mentality.  He felt that if I needed help I would ask.  Vicious circle for years.   He has decided he wants to undo that, and while I love the idea, I am having some difficulties letting go.  (Don’t get me wrong, I love not getting up at 6:45 to take the kids to school).  I have a hard time feeling worthy of his attention and devotion, and unfortunately I am pretty vanilla.   I don’t like the words slave or sub, and it’s hard for me to let him put me on a pedestal.  
So that’s me in a nutshell, and obviously I am here to read, learn, and hopefully find some things to help our journey!

If I may suggest: Start by locking him in a chastity cage for gradually longer periods of time. You won't have to "keep the tease up" Time and his growing sexual urges will do what needs to be done. You'll find your husband more energetic because of fewer sexual releases, but also more attentive to your needs, which may lessen your feelings of not being worthy of his attention. Decide in advance where you'll hide the key to his cage. Sometimes just a small change can make a big difference. Also, Please don't get hung up on terminology i.e. sub and slave are just words. His improved behavior and your improved relationship as a result of male chastity will be far more important. 🙂 

Hey Belle!

My only real advice is to not worry about your hang-ups. Seriously. Your relationship is just for the two of you, and it doesn't matter how unique or similar it is to anyone else's, or to whatever anyone else's expectations are, or even when you compare it to your own seemingly-hard-baked-in expectations for your marriage.

Your husband is desperately seeking something. And he's desperately seeking it from you. That's pretty awesome! Whatever you did to get here, well done!

That means you have a blank sheet of paper, and a very malleable husband to color that page in with, as a partner. You'll get lots of good advice (and more if you search for it), but just stop for a moment and appreciate how fun it could be to explore any new direction you choose, with your partner at your side.

Some of the best advice you'll get will be from your husband, because if you listen closely, he will inadvertently tell you how to push whatever button of his that you want to. He won't be able to help himself! ? He's desperate for you, and the more desperate you're making him, somehow (weirdly) the more happy he will be. You are page one of your own "choose your own adventure" story!

So kudos for the two of you to try something new, and don't be surprised if you hit some bumps along the way ... and don't be afraid to drive over them.

Hi, Belle, and welcome!

I can only add that you need to get that "fairness" and "not worthy" thing out of your head.  As a pretty strong guy put in chastity a few years ago by my wife, I can tell you it is an incredible turn on when she takes control.  It helps to think of it as a win-win.

Have fun!