Hello everyone

Welcome!

If you are anything like us, you will find it very addictive. Kevin says that he feels a certain level of safety or security while he is locked. I wonder if Lemmings feels that way. We are also on a weekly release schedule and that seems to work best for us. 2 days on 2 days off isn't really enough to even get him into the right headspace. From day 3 to day 6 I seem to get lots of unsolicited touching, massages and compliments. Strange how that happens. Then the next week we start the process over again. I look forward to hearing more as you dive deeper. 

Is this the book that you mentioned? If so, I might give it a read.

Thanks!

<3 Em

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

Thanks for the kind welcome Emma. Yes that is the book! It's a good read. He only tried for 2 weeks but what he reported changed our minds on chastity. Steve Jobs also practised semen retention (not sure if he was locked though) so we have good inspiration!

For the past two months we have been on the weekly release schedule and it has enriched our sex lives. Prior to this we were leading our own independent sex lives. We rule out lockdown as a factor because we have been in the lockdown for ~4 months now but the quality of sex life only improved after we went to weekly. 

Prior to all this, I think Lemmings felt guilty for not having sex with me daily. As I mentioned somewhere in the comments, whenever I would approach her, she would just nudge me to go solo and my daily masturbation in front of her thus became second nature to both of us. And this affected the actual sex we had because I was clearly not "charged up" when she wanted it.

While she says we can go back to the old arrangement whenever I want, I think secretely she doesn't want this to end. She's getting good sex, my undivided attention (when neccessary), and a level of control over me which has its own kink. We are also back to where we were when we had first started dating (cuddling, randomly smelling the hair, giving her the unexpected pinch on the bum).

I too don't (yet) want to go back. I feel liberated that I don't have to control my masturbation habbits because self control is not my strength. However, for me, it is also an emotional journey. I feel I am more in tune with my emotions than I had been before. I think you nailed it in one of your blog posts --my testosterone levels stay stable for most part and help me experience what my other hormones are trying to tell me. I cannot put it into exact words but a wide range of emotions and thoughts cross my mind these days when I interact with people or experience anything (not just sex and not just about sex).

Just last night, I mentioned to Lemmings that I want to try the 2 week lock up. I did so because I feel she is still obliging me with the weekly sex and I don't want sex simply because it is "time to have sex". Prior to the lock ups, her natural rhythum was close to once a month. I don't think I can handle a whole month but I want to gradually increase the lock ups to test my limits and find my own natural rhythm. Will report on how the next week goes. Any tips would be most welcome!

@goldilocks

I do have a recommendation. I suggest that you keep the weekly schedule for now and engage in sex on a weekly basis but that you finish sex when she is done. Many times we can be satisfied without actually reaching orgasm. Sometimes all we require from sex is some closeness and bodies wrapped around each other for a while. 

When she is done, put the cage back on for the next week and see how it goes. Sex without release or separation from release is incredibly liberating for both. Rather than sex being a "race to the finish line" it becomes a loving and nurturing experience that brings you both together. By the sound of it, you are both close but I think you have the potential to step it up a notch.

Check this one out.

https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2019/10/25/a-deep-connection/

Thank you for the excellent summary. I wish you the best in your journey and I'll be more than happy to help along the way.

<3 Em

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j Thanks for your suggestion. We discussed and are sticking to weekly schedule per your advice. Though from the last two weeks I have definitely stopped being on edge all the time. And I don't mind if she locks me up right after the sex either --it used to get to me early on when we had started these weekly schedules.

I feel our relationship is becoming less about sex and more about our shared interests. Don't want to jinx it by writing too much and definitely want to see how we work for the next 3-4 months before I can confidently say that we are a changed couple now.