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I am new on the site but I have read about twenty of Emmas blogs so I am catching up quickly. I have something I think I can add which is gathered from reading so many blogs from this site and others in an attempt to bring a sexual spark into my marriage. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 8 years and we are perfect. We complete sentences for each other and we really seem to be on the same page. With everything except sex that is!
I know he needs more sex than I do and it has always been that way but increasingly more and more the rift of our desire seems to expand as we get older. I am not too old, not even 40 yet but already feel like I don't get as horny as I did when I was younger. Part of it may be from new relationship energy, birth control or maybe just not needing as much. My mom and dad have similar challenges with my mom not really even wanting to be sexual with him anymore. She overshares with me. Yea I know.
I want my husband to get everything he needs and he lights up when anything we do taps into his sexual energy. I love to see that glow in his eyes and I think I feel compersion about him feeling sexually energized. Compersion is a word that I learned from Emmas blog but it means fealing happy by watching another person's happiness. Learning more about what makes those eyes light up I find that it isn't about the act of lovemaking that gives him the energy. It is about ANY sexual attention. Teasing, pegging, chastity and entertaining fetishes that I know make him aroused.
So my point is, I went from what you might call a prude to sexually adventurous and the more we do, the happier we are in the other aspects of our relationship too. Live your best life and make your partner happy. What do you have to lose really?
Subscribe to my youtube channel for more pro relationship tips. lol I dont have a youtube channel.
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Welcome to the site Gina
Like what kind of things on the sexually adventurous side? We need some juicy details.
Posted : 30/07/2021 12:03 pm
Topic starter
I know how essential sexual energy is to him and he is more into the sexual side of our marriage than I am. He loves to feel desired and I do desire him but I have never been the rip your clothes off, fuck me now kind of girl and I probably never will be.
From a month ago we started locking him up and he usually is allowed one orgasm a week. He was annoying at first bothering me about it every hour but now he knows that conversation about his cage is completely off limits. I know he is locked and I'll give him attention when I want to. I did use Emma's suggestion to set an alarm and give him a couple minutes of touching a night if he hasn't bothered me through the day. That works well to have a set reminder to keep it front of mind. I also enjoy pegging and we even did it three times in one week. I love how it makes me feel in control and his moans and the way his body moves are addictive.
We were out with a male friend/coworker of mine and we were talking about my key necklace. I brought up my husband's cage and his husband's face turned completely white. My husband ended up going to the restroom to take a picture of it to show my friend. He was so embarrassed but admitted later how turned on it made him.
With the same friend who was over at our house, I told my husband that I was going to go into the bedroom with my friend for few minutes and we were not to be disturbed. Truth is, I am not sexually attracted to my friend and I don't know if I am comfortable with doing anything sexual at this point with someone else but we went into bedroom and talked about work in hushed tones for about fifteen minutes while my husband sat on the couch. To this day I will not tell him what happened and I just say things like "use your imagination" and "I don't kiss and tell" and "maybe nothing, maybe something". This friend confides in me about his sexual issues with his girlfriend so we are already comfortable with sexual type conversation in a friendship and I know I can trust that he is not expecting more.
You don't need to be a slut or participant of fantasies that make you uncomfortable to boost the sexual energy in your relationship. I am slowly finding what I am comfortable with but I do it on my terms completely.
I know how essential sexual energy is to him and he is more into the sexual side of our marriage than I am. He loves to feel desired and I do desire him but I have never been the rip your clothes off, fuck me now kind of girl and I probably never will be.
From a month ago we started locking him up and he usually is allowed one orgasm a week. He was annoying at first bothering me about it every hour but now he knows that conversation about his cage is completely off limits. I know he is locked and I'll give him attention when I want to. I did use Emma's suggestion to set an alarm and give him a couple minutes of touching a night if he hasn't bothered me through the day. That works well to have a set reminder to keep it front of mind. I also enjoy pegging and we even did it three times in one week. I love how it makes me feel in control and his moans and the way his body moves are addictive.
We were out with a male friend/coworker of mine and we were talking about my key necklace. I brought up my husband's cage and his husband's face turned completely white. My husband ended up going to the restroom to take a picture of it to show my friend. He was so embarrassed but admitted later how turned on it made him.
With the same friend who was over at our house, I told my husband that I was going to go into the bedroom with my friend for few minutes and we were not to be disturbed. Truth is, I am not sexually attracted to my friend and I don't know if I am comfortable with doing anything sexual at this point with someone else but we went into bedroom and talked about work in hushed tones for about fifteen minutes while my husband sat on the couch. To this day I will not tell him what happened and I just say things like "use your imagination" and "I don't kiss and tell" and "maybe nothing, maybe something". This friend confides in me about his sexual issues with his girlfriend so we are already comfortable with sexual type conversation in a friendship and I know I can trust that he is not expecting more.
You don't need to be a slut or participant of fantasies that make you uncomfortable to boost the sexual energy in your relationship. I am slowly finding what I am comfortable with but I do it on my terms completely.
Your 1 week lock up time is a reasonable one, however as time goes on and his body gets used to that schedule, you might consider a little variety. i.e. Start gradually increasing his lock up time. Introduce an occasional ruined orgasm after 1 week to increase his frustration level before relocking him for another week. Unlock him after 1 week, tease and edge him for awhile, then tell him you changed your mind, then simply relock him for another week. If he has said or done something you feel is inappropriate that week, tell him you're adding an extra 3 days locked up as a remainder he is forbidden to engage in that practice. Spoon him when he turns over to sleep, rubbing against him, knowing he is already sexually frustrated.
Little tricks like this will keep his sexual tension high, and will make him more willing to please you.
Posted : 31/07/2021 8:21 am
Gina - what a wonderful start! I am glad you have taken to it so well and have found ways so quickly to please both of you. I am sure he enjoys the pegging just as much, if not more than you. And the trick of pulling the friend into the next room but refusing to say what happened is just wonderfully evil (in a good way!). Please let us know how things go as they continue to develop!
Posted : 03/08/2021 6:56 am
