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Hello. My husband and I practise a female led relationship like many of you. He has a strong job but he makes time for me in many ways. We enjoy each other's company and I would say that we are best friends. Our relationship sounds much like the one that you have Emma. This has been a work in progress over the last twelve years but we have really learned to enjoy each other and never take each other for granted.
My husband works from Monday through Friday and I do not currently work. He does a great job of providing for our family. We do not have children, by my choice. I enjoy children but I have never wished to have any of my own.
Much like some of your articles, we did experiment with the cage but have chosen to go without the cage. Maybe we have outgrown it but I like to think that he values our sexual bond enough to be honest with himself and with me about his masturbation habits.
He and I have talked at long length about how his behavior is after he ejaculates. When he would ejaculate daily, I had a very cold and affectionate man. He would be resentful, teasing and even mean when he didn't get his way. We do revert back to this from time to time when orgasms are too frequent and it gives me a harsh dose of reality to know that even a well adjusted guy like my husband can revert so quickly. Biology is a hell of a thing! One of your blogs talked about the biology and chemicals of that causes them to act in such a way and I found it very interesting.
Every evening we cuddle together in the nude. I like to feel his hardness pressed against me. The more quickly he gets hard is a great indicator of how much built up energy he has. I like go grind myself against him and really show him how sexual and sensual I am. He knows that any steps beyond that are at my complete discretion and sometimes I will allow him to tug on himself and play with himself a little bit. He enjoys that and he likes if I do a bit of the playing. He knows that he should not request a release, our play is always without strings and without pressure. He and I both know that the more built up his sexual energy, the more loving and fun our relationship becomes for both of us.
An typical week for us, he goes to work on Monday morning. Every morning he offers me oral sex, which I don't need every day but it is a great way to start off my day at least a few times a week. I'll send him some flirty messages though the day. Sometimes a smiling face, sometimes a booty shot and sometimes just a couple messages letting him know how much I appreciate him. We cuddle in the evening when we go to bed together each evening. He knows to offer oral sex each evening. Again, I will sometimes accept but he knows that the expectation is very clear. Some weeks I will take him up on oral sex every time he offers and other times I will only accept once or twice during the entire week. Tuesday comes around and sometimes I will wake him up with a couple quick tugs to help motivate him for the day. It really helps keep him thinking of me and keeps him responsive to my messages. Wednesday we will sometimes have sex in the evening but like you and Kevin, ejaculation is not permitted. Our midweek sex is usually slow and sensual to help build him up and really give us the level of closeness that is only attained sexually. Thursday and Friday are much like Monday. I will throw in some quick blowjobs and maybe even sit across the room and let him tug off for a bit although he knows to stop when he feels like he is getting close. I have trust in him that he will stop and we rarely have any incidents. Weekends are fun as well. I love being sexually playful with him and I never feel pressured to do more than I want to. That makes me feel two hundred percent more comfortable acting sexually free and playful with him. He typically gets an orgasm on Saturday or Sunday but not every weekend. Sometimes he is permitted one a week and other times we skip a weekend or two. I know he yearns for them and the uncertainty keeps is body at my whim. As he nears Sunday evening, he is on his best behavior because he knows that he will likely have to wait another week if I don't allow him one this weekend. Our rules are always flexible since his body always seems to adjust and create expectations based on whatever patterns we create.
When I do allow him to ejaculate, it is typically either during sex or accompanying sex. We will have sex until I have an orgasm or two. If he feels like he is going to finish before I do, we will stop and cuddle, perhaps rest and as a last resort we will use some desensitizing cream. Once I have finished then will lie flat on his back or kneel on the foot of the bed while I play with myself. On rare occasions I will allow him to ejaculate inside me and when he does I always absolutely enjoy receiving oral sex.
He does do other things around the house, laundry, dishes and other things like that but it isn't his responsibility exclusively. We share those household burdens but when he is yearning for that big release, he is such a genuinely loving guy who loves to help me around the house.
I have come to realize that men are amazing and I love my husband very much. Biology has made male sexual traits very similar and we, as women need to understand how to use biology to bring us closer together with our men. So many of us think that men are exactly like us but they are very different. Their bodies are wired differently and they need a loving hand to guide them toward success in relationships.
<3 Thanks for the sight! I love it.
This is great! Thanks for such an insightful post. Do you mind if I ask a few questions and use it as a blog post? I think this is extremely insightful and I'd love to share it with others.
- What do you do when he gets whiny or frustrated?
- Have you experienced any incidents when he ejaculates without your permission? Are there consequences?
- I don't practice ruined orgasms but many of the others on this forum find them useful. I've been curious about trying them again myself. What is your experience?
- You mentioned that you did experiment with a cage, what led you go to without?
- Have you tried pegging?
- Are there consequences if he doesn't help around the house or doesn't offer oral sex or doesn't meet any of your other expectations?
- May I summarize your initial post and responses to use your experience in a future blog post?
It sounds like your husband has an amazing wife that understands his physical and emotional needs at a level most women do not. Thank you for contributing and congratulations to both of you!
Of course you may use it but thank you for asking!
He doesn't really get frustrated or whiny too much but when he does, he loses some of the teasing that I do through the day. I'll be very clear when he loses those opportunities. I was going to play with you a little bit but you got a bit snippy with me this morning. Remember?
Another thing that I learned from one of the femdom blogs is pussy time. I will watch tv, read a book, magazine or play on my phone and he will sit on the floor in front of me and stare into my pussy. As if he is staring into my eyes but he is to stare between my legs and not deviate his eyes for a period of time. Usually ten or fifteen minutes, not too long but long enough to help him remember. We did start by using the cage but he wasn't able to find one that fits him comfortably so he committed to being trustworthy without the cage. We have not tried pegging or cuckold although we've have a few wonderful threesome experiences but that isn't really cuckold. Consequences around the house are typically related to withholding my physical affection which he truly enjoys. Let me know if you have other questions for me.
Another reward that he enjoys is to lay in the bed face down with his butt up in the air. I will tug on his penis from below in a milking motion to stimulate him. This is a reward for chores being done and other good behavior. I find this one easy to do for a few minutes while I am watching TV as it only requires one free hand and half my attention. I always have him face away from the tv so he can enjoy it without feeling distracted by the show that I am watching. He is not allowed to ejaculate and must let me know if he begins to feel like he is getting close so I can stop. As you can see, we use a very positive reinforcement methods in our relationship.
Thank you. Great post.
I appreciate you!