Posted by: @arianna

How do most of you lock it on? I wait until he hands me the key and tells me it is locked but I feel like there is a better way. I am not really taking anything from him if he is giving it to me. He complains that I am not participating or "into it" but I hold the key for a few days and wear it on a necklace even. How into this do you think is necessary. It doesn't do much for me sexually but I do like how productive he is when locked and the extra attention. Pegging him is much more fun when he is locked for a few days.

She just has me lock it on whenever we are apart.  I have a Jail Bird which has a "security screw" which has a special "wrench" that is needed to remove the screw.  That said, she leaves the key at home.  She isn't so much into the ceremony around the passing of the key to her.

I put the cage on and slide the padlock through the hole but wait for her to actually lock the padlock. 

My wife and I do have a certain ceremony. I have to kneel in front of her and ask to be locked again. When she grants me my wish, I have to put the cage on and thank her for locking me up. She likes it very much when I show my thankfulness for being locked by her in this way.

Posted by: @arianna

How do most of you lock it on? I wait until he hands me the key and tells me it is locked but I feel like there is a better way. I am not really taking anything from him if he is giving it to me. He complains that I am not participating or "into it" but I hold the key for a few days and wear it on a necklace even. How into this do you think is necessary. It doesn't do much for me sexually but I do like how productive he is when locked and the extra attention. Pegging him is much more fun when he is locked for a few days.

The way I am wired, it doesn't do much for me sexually either. What works for me sexually is his behavior while he is locked. Consider that you will get back tenfold the slight efforts you put in to locking him and indulging a very small part of the fantasy. You may actually enjoy playing this game with him and having this sexy secret to share together. If he is handing you the key, he is begging you to participate. It sounds like he wants to please you, indulge him and give it a chance. You don't need to be into it, just understand that this is part of being into him and your rewards will be great. Same with teasing, make sure you give a grope and smack his butt. Make an overtly sexual comment or two that will send his mind racing. 

I've seen comments saying that "chastity isn't a game, it is a way of life" or "don't treat it like a game". I very much disagree, if it isn't game it isn't fun. If it isn't fun then it is work. I don't want to do work, I want to play games. Make it a game, enjoy it. Enjoy the emotional roller coaster that you send him on with each comment or tease. If you don't enjoy it, he will know. He knows you better than you think. Make a conscious effort to devote a little bit of time and energy to him each day, especially if that includes chastity. Enjoy each other!

I would suggest taking control completely. The next time the cage is removed have him wash it and give it to you to store. Depending on the normal interval time he is unlocked figure out a different time and give it back to him and demand he lock up. If he is normally unlocked for a week or more surprise him by making him lock up after only two days. If he is normally only unlocked for a day or two surprise him by making him wait three or four days. 

When you give him the cage back make him put it on but don't have him lock it up --- you lock it on. 

Make sure you are teasing him. The time for epic makeout sessions and back rubs are while he is locked. If you want to let him eat your pussy each time or use the strapon on you that is fine but again... make sure you control it. Don't listen to him about what he wants to do - but don't ignore him either. Chastity without any kind of teasing and denial can quickly become neglect. 

Have you ever spanked him? It doesn't have to be an epic punishment to tears but the next time he is bent over and waiting to be pegged give him some good spanks. Make sure you can see your hand prints on both his cheeks and throw in some dirty talk about how his penis is too small or how he has to be locked up because he can't control himself --- whatever your normal dirty talk is --- and that is why he is getting spanked. Then fuck him right up the ass with your strapon. As you are fucking him spank him some more.

So keep him guessing, make it a game and tease him. This all does seem like quite a lot to remember but he is worth it to me. How bad of me would it be to set reminders on my phone to tease him and check his cage nightly? 

Posted by: @arianna

How bad of me would it be to set reminders on my phone to tease him and check his cage nightly? 

Bad/Good? I don't know but it is important to me and reminders is the only way I am able to remember anything. I say set your reminders and don't be ashamed about it. If he knows the reminder goes off at 9pm and he gets 10 minutes of your attention if the two of you are on good terms that day then it is very open and very positive. Go for it.

Posted by: @arianna

So keep him guessing, make it a game and tease him. This all does seem like quite a lot to remember but he is worth it to me. How bad of me would it be to set reminders on my phone to tease him and check his cage nightly? 

Yes. Don't worry about it being a lot to remember just do your best. Try to do at least one or two things to him a day to make sure he knows you are involved and having fun. If you need to set a reminder that is fine --- we're all human after all!! 

SO when i get locked, she puts the cage on. normally im bound to the bed , she sits on my chest and puts the cage on.

with the lovley words "rien ne va plus"

than she puts the key on her necklace and leaves the room

@arianna Just wondering if you have had any time to try any of this out and how it went. The nice thing about this community is we are not short on suggestions 🙂 

The way H deals with this is to simply hand me the key and tell me to put the cage on or remove it at her pleasure, more often than not once locked she will give my balls and locked cock a tight squeeze to make sure all is in place, usually get the same squeeze when we get back from work, as if to check perhaps I'm still in place. 

@j-s Yes we are trying. I have him locked and we tease nightly. We had sex on 8 July and I could tell he was getting close so I stopped and told him to get his cage. He looked at me frustrated and dumbfounded and retrieved it from the nightstand drawer. It took some time for him to put it on but it finally went on. He lay beside me in bed while I gave myself two orgasms while he looked on in frustration. We cuddled and we both went to sleep. I could tell he did not know what to do with himself because he humped my leg in frustration as we cuddled. I see how this can be exciting to channel his energy and frustration. It is easy to forget he is locked and we went to a pool on Friday day and the outline of his cage was slightly visible when he exited the pool to towel off. I could see but others could not.

He bought me a little lock and key bracelet and that goes with me everywhere. I think it is intended for an anklet but I like it as a bracelet. Thanks all for the suggestions, I am doing my best and we are both enjoying the energy and sharing the tease together. 

@thedarkmitchell This doesn't come so natural for me but I am trying.

This blog link below is where our relationship is right now. Chastity seems to help break this cycle for us. For the past six days we make time to communicate about sex and it helps us come closer together and understand better our goals and frustrations. I have many of you to thank for helping us. Of course Emma, thanks to you.

https://www.kylebenson.net/5-ways-sex-pressure-from-men-kills-female-desire/