I am a male in my late 50's, been married 15 years. I suggested a wife led marriage to my wife a few years ago.
And ... what did she say/do?
She was not interested in the kink aspect of FLR. She thought my interest in FLR was all about sex. It took a long time for me to get it right. You can look at my post Vanilla FLR to see where we are at now. The success of our wife led marriage really depends on me following her rules. For her, it’s not about sex.
I really encourage you to yalk with your wife. Menopause should not stop a sex life, it just means you both need to work harder. Ask her what it would take to get things back to when you met. A mutually satisfying sex life is just as important as all the other relationship things to ne happy.
I have let my wife know I want sex. We do talk about it. She says no. She says it’s because of menopause. She says another factor is that I must serve her better. I try to do better. I asked to be sub. She does want to be in charge. I am not going to demand sex as a condition of the FLR.
I used to masturbate every day. I stopped doing that. Now I rely on my wife for an orgasm, and they are infrequent. I feel more intimacy with my wife since I stopped giving myself orgasms. Feeling horny all the time helps me stay focused on her. Sometimes sex is as much mental as physical.