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My Partner, my Love!

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Keeping It Real
(@keeping-it-real)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

I spent my 20s and 30s learning what I like sexually and learning how to become comfortable with a long term partner my husband. Turning 40 in March made me realize that I am not old yet my views about sex have evolved; not unlike your aptly named site.

The first half of our sexually active lives were spent being cheated on, cheated on others, feeling jealousy and all the things that come along with learning about sexuality. We both now thrive on wanting the other to be sexually satisfied and experience something new. If we are being honest with ourselves, there are only so many different holes and poles that we can try sexually before they feel much the same.

We tried pegging and it was mind opening for both of us. It made me understand the feelings of putting my sexuality into another person. It made him understand the feeling of accepting the sexual energy of another into himself.

Chastity is fun too but in an entirely different way. It transfers part of his sexual energy to me to control. The more of my sexual energy that I build, the more impactful chastity becomes. He wears the cage for two or three days at at time and it is lovely to see him get in touch with his emotions instead of focusing so much of his energy on his next orgasm. 

The newest sexual experimentation for us is non-monogamy. This one seems so contrary to everything that my husband and I know about relationships but both of us have such strong emotional responses. My husband and I have graduated from lust to an extremely connected and loving partnership. The concept of limerence evaporated years ago and for women, lustful limerence energizes our sexual selves. Without it, many of us find it difficult to keep our sexual chakra and carnal desire flowing. A couple of dare I say beginner non-monogamy experiences illustrate how much we still have to learn and enjoy together; the second half of our sexual adventure together. So many unexplored feelings of jealousy, humiliation, freedom, empowerment, and excitement. The closeness we've experienced in our lives due to Covid are instrumental in opening this new chapter for us. I have a great sense of excitement about this site and are exploring all of the conversationally stimulating blogs together with my partner.

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Posted : 28/10/2021 1:56 pm
nevertoolate, Sam, Franco83 and 9 people reacted
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 1052
Member
 

I love everything about this!  Thank you for sharing.

 
Posted : 28/10/2021 2:33 pm
Keeping It Real
(@keeping-it-real)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 
Posted by: @subhubphx

I love everything about this!  Thank you for sharing.

I am excited to enter this journey of self-discovery with all of you and most of all, my husband. 

 
Posted : 28/10/2021 3:14 pm
nevertoolate, subhubphx, nevertoolate and 3 people reacted
Franco83
(@franco83)
Posts: 12
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A couple of dare I say beginner non-monogamy experiences illustrate how much we still have to learn and enjoy together

 

 

I would love to hear about your experiences.

 
Posted : 28/10/2021 3:34 pm
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 1052
Member
 
Posted by: @keeping-it-real
Posted by: @subhubphx

I love everything about this!  Thank you for sharing.

I am excited to enter this journey of self-discovery with all of you and most of all, my husband. 

Live it up and enjoy your journey.  Communicate ... deeply, honestly and often.  If your marriage is anything like mine, if (fill in blank here) is something that she truly wants to do/try/explore, then she should and he will support it.

 
Posted : 28/10/2021 3:49 pm
Keeping It Real
(@keeping-it-real)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

The experiences are really are quite beginner but fascinating. We are of course, only just entering into this chapter of understanding together. We became curious about this while at a nearby winery and clearly tipsy while chatting with some other visitors in the tasting room. My husband stepped outside for a smoke and when he came back I was talking to two men. One of them was deeply engaged in conversation with me and both of us clearly had a very basic level of chemistry.

When my husband sat down beside me, he clearly felt like the third wheel while this gentleman and I were talking about other wineries. It ended there but on the way home we discussed how this made him feel. A tinge of jealousy. Much of the way I acted toward the gentleman was intentional. I could see the excitement on my husband's face. He isn't a person who can hide his emotions very well, from me at least!

The second time was just last week. We were at a local lounge that has dancing and we've not done anything like that in some time due to pandemic restrictions on that sort of activity. My husband didn't want to dance so I took it upon myself to have a good time. The alcohol was again involved and I danced with a couple men while my husband watched. None of it was overly provocative or inappropriate but once again the attention I received made him feel just a tinge of jealousy. He knew that I was having a great time and the attention felt great. Having recently turned 40, it felt nice to have attention from men who were easily five years younger than I.

Exploring this together, he confessed to loving the exhilaration of watching me receive attention from another man. The smile and excitement on my face is something he shares but secondarily they are giving me something that he cannot. They are giving me newness and a boost of limerence and lust. These men of course do not present a threat to him but I doubt his mind is fully convinced of that.

We discussed things that we may or may not do in future experiences. A few of those things may be going dancing with him locked in his cock cage. I may even try to take things a step further with a kiss or light touching with another man. All of this is addictive and makes both of our hearts race as we try to anticipate the effects on the other. The and stimulation of the conversation afterwards is nearly as stimulating as the event itself.

This isn't something we are in a hurry to do. Much of the adrenaline and experience will be lost if we "go all the way" and my wonderful partner and I want to fully immerse ourselves in the rainbow of emotion that these experiences unfold.

 
Posted : 28/10/2021 4:08 pm
nevertoolate, Franco83, djv and 6 people reacted
Evolvingyourman
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman)
Posts: 1041
Famed Member Admin
 

I think we all appreciate the slow pace that you are taking this and we can't wait to hear more if you decide to continue. Just remember to focus on the positive things that  each of you get from each encounter and try to maximize those feelings. Your idea of going dancing with him locked is fun and it gives you a sexy little secret that only the two of you know. Unless of course you decide to tell someone. ? 

The rush is addictive and so many couples try to jump in headfirst only to get burned because they took things too fast and didn't have sufficient communication along the way. What aspects does he find most exhilarating? Do these experiences build your self confidence? Do these experiences make you feel more connected? If an experience was to progress beyond what you've already tried, how far are each of you comfortable with it progressing? Once you know that limit, come up with an erotic fantasy to share together. Soaking is an exciting way to share intimate fantasies together. 

Welcome to the site, I added a profile picture for you but you are of course welcome to change your pic to whatever you like.

 
Posted : 30/10/2021 11:52 am
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 1052
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Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

Soaking is an exciting way to share intimate fantasies together

Soaking (something that we learned here) is one of my most favorite things in the world!

 
Posted : 30/10/2021 12:00 pm
nevertoolate, Emma, nevertoolate and 3 people reacted
The Castle
(@the-castle)
Posts: 4
Active Member
 

My girlfriend of 5 years and I are also experimenting like this together. We came up with hard limits of no sex with the other guy but everything else is on the table. We went on a weekend trip last month and she is very flirty so she made a new friend when she was sitting alone at the small hotel bar waiting for me to make some phone calls and come down from our room. He noticed the ring on her finger and explained that we aren’t actually married but wear rings to show our commitment to each other. She told him I was upstairs but our relationship allows us to flirt and play with others in the right situations. They were having a good time and I could see they were smiling and laughing as I walked into the bar she introduced me and I really felt like the third wheel.

 

After a few minutes she informed me that they were going to go upstairs for a few minutes and told me to just add my drinks to her bar tab. This would be a first for us so I looked at her in somewhat disbelief. She nodded yes so I would know that she was ok. I was partly nervous, partly excited and lastly I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to watch. I was incredibly aroused by the idea and I could tell that she was too.

 

They disappeared to the elevator which was only partly visible from the hotel bar and I watched them kissed as the elevator doors closed. I sat at the bar, anticipating her return. I ordered a drink but sipped at it nervously. The bartender made an attempt at conversation but I wasn’t able to focus and he eventually got the hint. Each time the elevator doors opened, I strained to see if it was her. Finally after almost 40 minutes they came back down. Both were smiling and very clearly had a good time. She walked up to me and said thank you as she gave me a kiss. He sat with us for a few minutes more before she said goodbye and told him we were going to call it a night. I was eager to hear the whole story but didn’t want to overwhelm her with questions so I asked. How was it? She said that she really enjoyed herself. I asked well what did you do? She told me that she had gone to his room, made out with him and gave him a blowjob. I looked at her, stunned and excited. I knew they did something but this confirmed it. I was also surprised that she went to his room, not ours. I was almost more surprised about her going to his room than the blowjob. She could see that I was taking it all in, reached over and gave me a hug and thanked me for letting her play. I asked her if she swallowed, she said that she had. I asked how big he was and she told me that he was longer than me but not quite as thick. (I would call mine quite average.)

 

This was a road trip so we had hours to talk about it on the way home. As she told me more details, I found out that he asked her to stay over in his room with him. For a moment she actually considered it but then she remembered our agreement. He also asked to go down on her but she wasn’t comfortable enough to relax enough to enjoy it. This was the first time that anything sexual happened during our plan and honestly I am still digesting it after nearly a month later. She really felt excited and attractive and I still see the life in her eyes a month later. If it is up to me there will for sure be a next time and I want to be there to watch. It made us both feel so alive!

 
Posted : 30/10/2021 12:59 pm
nevertoolate, J.S., subhubphx and 6 people reacted
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 1052
Member
 

@the-castle Wow.  I assume that "no sex" means no fucking?  I have to hand it you friend, I just don't have that gene that allows me to get excited on my own about my wife even flirting and cooing with another man, let alone going off with another man to his room for a blowjob.  It would be an entirely different matter if she, on her own and without any prodding from me, wanted to do it, and then told me that it was going to happen.

 
Posted : 30/10/2021 1:56 pm
The Castle
(@the-castle)
Posts: 4
Active Member
 

@subhubphx

Yes no fucking. We agreed that oral doesn't count. She was at least as excited as me on her own and probably more excited! 

 
Posted : 30/10/2021 3:31 pm
Keeping It Real
(@keeping-it-real)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

We are not ready for anything like @the-castle described but I won't rule it out for our future. If I put myself in her shoes, I would be overwhelmed with emotion as I made eye contact as the elevator doors closed leaving him in the bar by himself. The decision to go to the new guy's room instead of our room would probably be a no, I would need my husband to know where I am for the purpose of safety. Once we got to the room, making out and ultimately the blowjob would make me feel so sexually powerful. My husband sitting at the bar, wondering what is happening and wondering what he is missing out on. You completely glazed over the fact that she gave you a kiss when she got back to the bar and moments earlier her mouth had been elsewhere. Controlling the information about the experience that he missed would be invigorating. Knowing that a long car ride home awaits for me to string it out as a tease. 

Before doing a thing like this I would to overcome the shame and self worth issues that it might create. My beautiful and supportive husband is convincing me to relax my sexuality and not overthink it. If anyone should feel used, it is the other guy and it is very unlikely that he would mind. This is just a hookup, casual and separate from our relationship. I know this and I've had friends with benefits relationships before but they are always accompanied by emotions that need to be sorted out. How did it make her feel afterwards? What were the first questions that you asked her? 

What sort of attention did she give you after you went to your room? What did she do to calm your nerves and reassure and reclaim each other? Without some sort of aftercare, I can see my love sitting up all night with his mind absolutely reeling!

I think we do want to be where you are eventually. I would personally find it very exciting but I cannot say when or even if we will be ready anytime soon.

 
Posted : 31/10/2021 9:55 am
nevertoolate, J.S., nevertoolate and 3 people reacted

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