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Kristine
(@kristine)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

It's been almost about 3 weeks since I put my BF in a chastity cage. We've been together for about a year and a half. He was addicted to porn. I felt like I was being cheated. For some reason I didn't want him to masturbate. It's difficult to explain. I felt like I wasn't being good enough to satisfy him (sexually). So one of my GFs sent me a link to this site. Her partner is also in chastity and I liked how he treated her. She told me not to let him ejaculate. To let him ejaculate when I wanted him to, and always in my presence. She’s the one who ordered the chastity cage for me. 

So about 3 weeks ago, I put him in chastity. I didn't know what I was doing but I felt like it's the right thing to do. Within 2 days he was transformed. He became increasingly more and more submissive. Our relationship became very intimate (to say the least). After about two days he was desperate. He started leaking so much pre-cum, it made a wet spot on his pants. 

I didn’t know what to do, so I talked to her about this whole thing. She told me to try pegging him and gave me one of hers to try. He loved it. When I peg him, he asks for my permission to have his orgasm. Even if I say OK go ahead, he can’t seem to orgasm.  I never knew a man can orgasm with anal penetration alone. 

He accidentally came one night while we were having sex but that was it. So it’s been about 18 days since he last ejaculated. 

My GF is going to visit us tonight. She said she knows how to release his semen without giving him an orgasm. I don’t know how that is even possible. The thing is, he doesn’t want to go back to chastity after he ejaculates. So we have to give this one a try. 

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I was raised in a religious family and it felt very awkward taking the charge of our relationship. Is this wrong ? Is it sustainable in the long run ?

One thing I don’t like much (sometimes) is that he has become very obsessive about me. He wants to kiss my feet and pleasure me (you know what I mean) all the time like there’s no tomorrow. He sits at my feet and kisses my thighs. Asks me what I want all the time.He has become like a slave to me. After pegging this gets even more intense. I like it a lot but I want him to be a bit “normal” (for the lack of a better word) outside the bedroom. 

I’ve read several articles on this site. But I’m still at a loss to absorb all whatever this is. It all happened too quickly for me to get comfortable with it. I haven’t had sex since he came 3 weeks ago or he cums. I’ll see what she can do about it tonight. I’ve always been self reliant and hated asking for help, but it’ll be kind of you to point me where to go in this sort of relationship. 

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 7:45 am
Jafo987, nevertoolate, Jafo987 and 3 people reacted
Jd3064169
(@jd3064169)
Posts: 50
Estimable Member
 

Do reasearch on ruined orgasms for men, if he has so much new energy,  start redirecting his energy into helping around the house. As far as his behavior tell him how you want him to be outside of bedroom & tell him if he can't act accordingly all the fun stuff he's enjoying will stop. Enjoy your new found powers & use his desires to make u happy in & out of bedroom.  And yes your husband choosing masturbation  rather than being with you is perfectly fine to view as a form of cheating.  He's depriving you of have pleasure with him. 

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 8:29 am
nevertoolate, Phil Anonymous, Kristine and 9 people reacted
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 888
Member
 
Posted by: @kristine

I’ve always been self reliant and hated asking for help, but it’ll be kind of you to point me where to go in this sort of relationship. 

I'd encourage to continue to explore the vast amount of valuable and viable information on this site and some others.  Stay away from "porn-fueled" sites that focus on titilation and stay with the good ones.  One of those good sites is Femdom Think Tank.

I concur with the comments from @Jd3064169 regarding ruined orgasms.  Here is a link to a fantastic article from the previously mentioned Femdom Think Tank on the amazing benefits of ruined orgasms.  I'll also encourage to browse through that site as well.

Congratulations on beginning this amazing journey.  There are bumps in the road, especially in the beginning, but Evolving Your Man (see what I did there Emma?) is more than just worth the effort.  Your husband will thank you and your life together will be blissful and happy.  I promise.

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 8:43 am
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 888
Member
 
Posted by: @jd3064169

Do reasearch on ruined orgasms for men, if he has so much new energy,  start redirecting his energy into helping around the house. As far as his behavior tell him how you want him to be outside of bedroom & tell him if he can't act accordingly all the fun stuff he's enjoying will stop. Enjoy your new found powers & use his desires to make u happy in & out of bedroom.  And yes your husband choosing masturbation  rather than being with you is perfectly fine to view as a form of cheating.  He's depriving you of have pleasure with him. 

Love this!

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 8:44 am
Kristine
(@kristine)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

@subhubphx

Thank you so much.

Do you think he's homosexual or Bi ? Is that why he likes being penetrated ? 

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 8:59 am
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 888
Member
 
Posted by: @kristine

@subhubphx

Thank you so much.

Do you think he's homosexual or Bi ? Is that why he likes being penetrated ? 

Absolutely not!  I'm neither and I love to be penetrated by my Wife.

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 9:01 am
mickg93, nevertoolate, Phil Anonymous and 9 people reacted
Kristine
(@kristine)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

@jd3064169 It's a nice idea. I certainly can do with a bit of help around the house. Should be fun ? 

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 9:02 am
Kristine
(@kristine)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

@subhubphx OK. Got it.

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 9:07 am
nevertoolate, subhubphx, nevertoolate and 3 people reacted
Jd3064169
(@jd3064169)
Posts: 50
Estimable Member
 

I posted yesterday,  check out this book on Amazon,  should give you some great ideas on how to enjoy Chastity. 

Male Chastity Workbook for Couples. By Darious Knight.

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 9:27 am
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Posts: 1005
Famed Member Admin
 
Posted by: @kristine

I was raised in a religious family and it felt very awkward taking the charge of our relationship. Is this wrong ? Is it sustainable in the long run ?

Welcome Kristine! Right and wrong refers to your own moral code so that can only be defined by you. If your sense of right and wrong is defined by your religious faith, I'd discuss female leadership with your clergy. Is it sustainable in the long run? I really can't see why not if both of your needs are being met and you communicate frequently.

Posted by: @kristine
Do you think he's homosexual or Bi ? Is that why he likes being penetrated ? 

Plenty of straight men who are comfortable with their bodies love penetration and prostate stimulation. Just as we can receive external clitoral stimulation and internal stimulation, men can too. Internal and external stimulation are perfectly acceptable for women but not for men. Why is this? Fear and homophobia runs rampant in our society. If you think he might be gay or bi, ask him and talk about it in a nonthreatening manner. I asked Kev if he would ever want to try "the real thing" after we ended a particularly exciting pegging sesh. He said that the stimulation and the submission to me is what arouses him. While men would be equipped for the act without the use of a strapon, he wouldn't get the same thing from it. I can only equate this to how much better women are at cunnilingus  than men. (Sorry guys). Even though the experiences I've had with women are in nearly all cases better, I simply prefer to be intimate with men. Would I want to see Kev with another man? Yes absolutely. I think that would be absolutely incredible to watch. I even tried to instigate this sort of situation once but it wasn't right for us. What I am saying is don't let fear dictate your sexuality. If it feels good, communicate about it and try it. If it doesn't feel good, communicate about it and don't try it!

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 10:23 am
benny22, nevertoolate, Kristine and 12 people reacted
Restrainedlove
(@restrainedlove)
Posts: 108
Estimable Member
 
Own your feelings. If you feel like you were being cheated on, those feelings are valid. I admire you for taking control of the situation and I can see that he is willing to make sacrifices for the relationship as well. 
We come from a religious background too. We've learned everything about sex together, since being married. We finally went to an adult shop after 9 years of marriage, but are having fun doing more exploring of sexuality since then. It can be scary to explore new aspects of sexuality. Sometimes I feel self-conscience with reading the articles. Making this changing is good for you! There are several people who have done it for a long time, there are some that do it on and off, and there are some that try it out and stop. No judging, just be open and learn what feels good for your relationship.

Welcome to this site! Since sex can be taboo in religious communities, I've been having fun with the "Tell a Friend" feature on the home page to try to spread the word. Hopefully some of them will be wearing their keys around so I can recognize them - or maybe I'll be brave and just talk to people like your awesome girlfriend. Some of the articles I would send them (and some more that are good reading) are:
https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2018/03/15/taking-the-reins/  
Women don't need to have their vagina envelope his penis to have sex (usually PIV, but I prefer VEP). I recently read "She Comes First" recently. Some good cunnilingus ideas in there to keep him busy, if/when you're interested. There is also OMGYes.com to increase skills in female pleasure. As for men, penetrating triggers pleasure through the prostate (p-spot). This will not make him gay, bi, or anything else. This is a way for pleasuring with using the penis. Enjoy your new found power! This article has some good videos (for a religious background, it may be difficult to watch pegging videos with partially clothed participants. Think of it more as art or instructional if you have having difficulty with that. Remember, this is the way God made us - it is OK for us to enjoy our bodies):  https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2021/05/04/pegging-its-all-in-the-technique/
Cleaning the house is nice. 
https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2021/01/02/house-husband-setting-expectations-with-a-written-agreement/  
https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2020/11/23/how-coronavirus-changed-our-marriage-for-the-better/
Things get done and you are about to take care of yourself. Be sure to set your standards (not his) for what is expected ( http://brassiered.com/hesthemaid/why.html ). You can also consider having fun by making it official with a contract (see the marital maid contract:  http://brassiered.com/sissymaidcontract/index.html ). Consider having him learn French so he can take you to Paris someday ( http://brassiered.com/enfrancaisfifi/introduction.html ). 
 
This website has an Excel spreadsheet for tracking when he is locked and how often each of you orgasm (reminder that just because you do, doesn't mean he needs to):  https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/tracker.htm  You can make notes and see how different things impact how things are going.

Wow, that got long. Good luck reading all that. Remember to talk openly, be in control, and have fun!
 
Posted : 26/01/2022 11:28 am
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 888
Member
 
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j
Posted by: @kristine

I was raised in a religious family and it felt very awkward taking the charge of our relationship. Is this wrong ? Is it sustainable in the long run ?

Welcome Kristine! Right and wrong refers to your own moral code so that can only be defined by you. If your sense of right and wrong is defined by your religious faith, I'd discuss female leadership with your clergy. Is it sustainable in the long run? I really can't see why not if both of your needs are being met and you communicate frequently.

Posted by: @kristine
Do you think he's homosexual or Bi ? Is that why he likes being penetrated ? 

Plenty of straight men who are comfortable with their bodies love penetration and prostate stimulation. Just as we can receive external clitoral stimulation and internal stimulation, men can too. Internal and external stimulation are perfectly acceptable for women but not for men. Why is this? Fear and homophobia runs rampant in our society. If you think he might be gay or bi, ask him and talk about it in a nonthreatening manner. I asked Kev if he would ever want to try "the real thing" after we ended a particularly exciting pegging sesh. He said that the stimulation and the submission to me is what arouses him. While men would be equipped for the act without the use of a strapon, he wouldn't get the same thing from it. I can only equate this to how much better women are at cunnilingus  than men. (Sorry guys). Even though the experiences I've had with women are in nearly all cases better, I simply prefer to be intimate with men. Would I want to see Kev with another man? Yes absolutely. I think that would be absolutely incredible to watch. I even tried to instigate this sort of situation once but it wasn't right for us. What I am saying is don't let fear dictate your sexuality. If it feels good, communicate about it and try it. If it doesn't feel good, communicate about it and don't try it!

This is just so excellent Emma!  It's an example of why I refer to you as the Chancellor!

 
Posted : 26/01/2022 12:48 pm
Nika
 Nika
(@nika)
Posts: 197
Reputable Member
 

 

Posted by: @kristine

I was being cheated. For some reason I didn't want him to masturbate. It's difficult to explain. I felt like I wasn't being good enough to satisfy him (sexually).

Oh I know what you mean. You did the right thing putting him in chastity. Now he'll be able to concentrate more on you and your relationship. I'm sure he'll thank you for you did.

Posted by: @kristine

So one of my GFs sent me a link to this site. Her partner is also in chastity and I liked how he treated her. She told me not to let him ejaculate. To let him ejaculate when I wanted him to, and always in my presence.

Looks like you've got a wonderful girlfriend. I think she knows what she's talking about. Separating sex from his orgasms is the key to an FLR and you'd do even better if you don't ever let him ejaculate. There are other ways you can release him you know.

Posted by: @kristine

So about 3 weeks ago, I put him in chastity. I didn't know what I was doing but I felt like it's the right thing to do

Ok. Relax and be with your feelings. Listen to them and do what feels right for you. You're the one in control now and you can decide on your own pace what to do and where to go from here. Just relax and enjoy what he has to offer you. You'll love it. If you feel it's the right thing to do, then it is.

Posted by: @kristine

Within 2 days he was transformed. He became increasingly more and more submissive. Our relationship became very intimate (to say the least).

Oh you don't say. I know.???

Posted by: @kristine

After about two days he was desperate. He started leaking so much pre-cum, it made a wet spot on his pants.

Solution - Tell him to not to wear cloths inside the house. Put a condom over his cage. Remember to clean the cage every day. He's leaking his fluid for you. Not for some porn. That should make you feel good. Just make sure you don't slip over it. Making him wear a condom would fix that particular issue.

Posted by: @kristine

When I peg him, he asks for my permission to have his orgasm.

That's the right way to go. Your GF is good. Listen to her. It's a good idea to never let him touch his penis specially when its hard. You own it. So use it how you want and like.? That's what he wants you to do (deep down).

Posted by: @kristine

When I peg him, he asks for my permission to have his orgasm. Even if I say OK go ahead, he can’t seem to orgasm.

It'll happen one day honey. Don't be too bothered about it. There will be a point in your RLShip where you're able to control his erections..... then you can have him erect when only you want it. Until then use an ice pack. It'll be so much easier to make him release that way. That is not like when he ejaculates normally, but a slow drip/ flow. He won't feel a thing and he'd remain horny even after the session. He will orgasm one day while being pegged. It'd be THE MOST SPECIAL moment..... a\the  milestone in your relationship. It was for me. You'll see the difference. If you think now he's transformed.... I don't know what you're going to say after that happens. Go for it. Ask anything. Message me if you want to talk to me privately.

Posted by: @kristine

So it’s been about 18 days since he last ejaculated. 

Make sure that never happens. Ruined orgasms or even better prostate releases are much better alternatives.

Posted by: @kristine

The thing is, he doesn’t want to go back to chastity after he ejaculates.

Its normal. I know its frustrating to have to start from the beginning. But it's worth the try. That's why prostate releases are much better than ruined orgasms. It's hard to judge when to stop stimulating him sometimes.

Posted by: @kristine

I was raised in a religious family and it felt very awkward taking the charge of our relationship. Is this wrong ? Is it sustainable in the long run ?

Go with your gut feelings. It's not wrong to be in charge of a relationship. To be in control of your man. As long as it is what you both want....it'll be sustainable.

Posted by: @kristine

One thing I don’t like much (sometimes) is that he has become very obsessive about me. He wants to kiss my feet and pleasure me (you know what I mean) all the time like there’s no tomorrow. He sits at my feet and kisses my thighs. Asks me what I want all the time.He has become like a slave to me. After pegging this gets even more intense. I like it a lot but I want him to be a bit “normal” (for the lack of a better word) outside the bedroom. 

You tell him what you want him to do. It's extremely normal to pampered like that. Enjoy it. Like I do.

When you don't feel like it. Tell him. When you control his orgasms , you control him. You'll learn it eventually.

Posted by: @kristine

I’ve read several articles on this site. But I’m still at a loss to absorb all whatever this is. It all happened too quickly for me to get comfortable with it. I haven’t had sex since he came 3 weeks ago or he cums. I’ll see what she can do about it tonight. I’ve always been self reliant and hated asking for help, but it’ll be kind of you to point me where to go in this sort of relationship. 

OK, see what she has to offer (It should have happened by now). I'd say make him "edge" in front of you 2 to 3 times and then massage his prostate or peg him until he release some of that fluid. It'd relieve some of the pressure and you'll be able to enjoy sex. Remember to never ever let him orgasm during sex.

 Looking forward to hear from you ?

 
Posted : 27/01/2022 2:20 am
Kristine
(@kristine)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

@nika 

Thank you so much. This is really helpful.

Posted by: @nika

I'd say make him "edge" in front of you 2 to 3 times and then massage his prostate or peg him until he release some of that fluid.

That's exactly what she did. She brought a metal toy with her to massage his prostate. I'm glad you replied.

I read some of your posts earlier this month. I think I'll never be daring enough to do what you do. But I'll keep you posted.

 

 
Posted : 27/01/2022 3:13 am
Restrainedlove
(@restrainedlove)
Posts: 108
Estimable Member
 

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j 
Where did you find your videos in this article:
https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2021/05/04/pegging-its-all-in-the-technique/

 
Posted : 27/01/2022 5:15 am
TinCup, TinCup and TinCup reacted
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