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New, fascinated, and don't know where to start.

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spud
 spud
(@spud)
Eminent Member
 

I'm pretty new to this too and my Wife and I are in our early thirties. We don't use chastity but just orgasm control, although we have the benefit of both being together most of the time (I work from home at the minute and she doesn't work). You are in the lucky position that many of the blogs are written by women who initiated the Female Led aspect to their relationship (whereas its more likely, by about 4:1, that the man brings up the idea) so should get some ideas there (RestrainedLove has shared the starting out post of Emma's).

If you haven't found a guy who is completely up for being locked up straight away, work on the teasing (don't let him finish), build it up to wider orgasm control and then, either if he cannot keep his hands away, or has seen the benefits of orgasm control, introduce chastity. Eg. don't let him finish one time, then ask him if you are worth waiting for until next time - set him the challenge. See if he manages it, but don't get angry if he hasn't, quitting a daily routine doesn't always happen over night, just don't let him finish again, but set the challenge again and tell him you will make it worth it if he can wait. Obviosuly, each time YOU will always orgasm, whether using him or just a toy (he can watch).
You need to make sure he is into it, but chances are he will find your power over him really hot, and your denial to give him all he wants makes him want you more. We all know that what we can't have is all the more desirable.

I have found that after a week of not having an orgasm I don't even want one that much, I am enjoying being so in love with my Wife I don't want it to stop - although if I have a good orgasm with her it tends not to have too much of a 'drop' in my attitude.

With the benefit of hindisght, the biggest mistake my Wife made was thinking it was her job to please me, and so let me have sex as much as I liked. I loved to pleasure her, but she mostly wasn't interested, partly because it was me trying to force it on her. Since She has been in complete control in the bedroom, she is much more open and we have a couple of new sex toys that give her great orgasms - previously whenever I suggested getting something she would say she had no interest (I already had lots and she had used some). You are already on the right path with knowing what you want - when you are young BOTH are trying to work things out, and with the lack of any proper guidance the internet (usually porn), and societal norms, is the default position people often fall into. I made most of the decisions in our relationship, not because we considered it and decided I was the best (it may have been the case right at the beginning), but because it's generally the default position of the man (and I'm a bit of a control freak). Having an idea what you want at the beginning means you can share these with your man as soon as you consider it to be serious enough, and drop hints earlier on.

 
Posted : 16/02/2022 6:14 pm
janae
(@janae)
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

Thanks @spud! That's really helpful. I love the idea of just starting out slow by teasing a guy and then your encouragement to make it a challenge for him by asking if I am worth waiting for for his cum. If he says no and chooses to cum anyway than he is clearly not the right boy for me as right off the bat he'll show he is selfish and values his penis more than me.  But if he is willing to wait for me and slowly let me push him multiple days then that is a great sign I'll be able to lock him eventually! That's how I'll plan on slowly introducing a boy if he isn't already into chastity. Thanks!

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Posted : 17/02/2022 1:51 am
restrainedlove, spud, bestwhencaged and 6 people reacted
janae-in-charge
(@janae-in-charge)
Active Member
 

Hi all, Janae here again! I somehow got kicked out of my old account and so created a new one as I really enjoy this site and have continued to explore it from time to time. I want to participate more in the community here though and learn from you all so I made a new account!

 

I've been able to have a few positive sexual experiences during the last few months including actually being brought to orgasm a couple times. Unfortunately, no boys in chastity yet but I did get one guy to agree to getting me off several times while keeping his orgasm at bay. I negotiated with him as he really wanted to fuck me chained to a bed and I agreed to it at a later date if he simply got me off several times while denying his own orgasm. Both experiences were totally new to me and amazing! He's open to negotiating more in the future but if he wants any more rough sex I'm going to insist on more sessions with him not allowed to cum first in order to earn it. If he accidentally goes over the edge then we'll start over and there will be no rough sex for him due to his failure. I hope this will be a good way to slowly train him in semen retention while allowing me to explore some of the benefits of a retaining make. Maybe I'll even convince him to let me lock his little guy up for one of our sessions! 😊

 
Posted : 01/06/2022 11:53 pm
Brittany, bestwhencaged, Brittany and 3 people reacted
bestwhencaged
(@bestwhencaged)
Estimable Member
 

@janae-in-charge 

Maybe insist on a session where you tie him up and use him for your pleasure where you straddle his face for as much as you want, and when you want him to have his reward, you ride him.  You could take little steps this way. Blindfolding him next. Putting a cock ring on him so he gets used to something down there. The possibilities are endless!

 
Posted : 02/06/2022 12:33 am
janae-in-charge
(@janae-in-charge)
Active Member
 

@bestwhencaged 

That does sound wonderful. I'm just excited to be getting the pleasure I deserve in sex finally. It's definitely hot to think about leaving him desperate and denied while I get to get off and I'm still very new to this! 🙃

 
Posted : 02/06/2022 1:05 am
bestwhencaged
(@bestwhencaged)
Estimable Member
 

Just ease him into it as submitting is hard for young guys. If you stay together he will transform over the years. He just needs digestible bites to accept. Use words of affirmation, teasing, touch, and after you have your pleasure give him an explosive orgasm. Slowly lead him into slavery where you explore your desires including chastity. Once he accepts that, you will be on the path to the intimacy you desire.

 
Posted : 02/06/2022 4:35 am
brittany
(@brittany)
Estimable Member
 

@janae-in-charge it’s great to have you back missed our conversations

 
Posted : 03/06/2022 6:47 pm
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