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Any time a couple is playing together, things are good. You two are obviously doing something right!

Posted by: @true42

Any time a couple is playing together, things are good. You two are obviously doing something right!

Thanks! I love it! I haver never felt so sexually compatible with someone

This is a great post and ejaculation problems are very real. Kev struggled with delayed ejaculation for quite some time and here are some blogs and forum topics that you might find interesting.

• https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2019/02/05/delayed-ejaculation/
• https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2021/06/20/a-unique-approach-to-cure-delayed-ejaculation/
• and a forum post from @alina
  https://www.evolvingyourman.com/community/everything-else/thank-you-a-delayed-ejaculation-success-story/

Sex is about control. Our sex drives and sexual satisfaction is very closely tied to control. When he feels like he is unable to ejaculate, he does not have control. When he is locked, he relinquishes that control to you. That control is appealing and knowing you are in control of his sexuality, he feels a sexual confidence that insecurities about ejaculation have taken from him.

Furious masturbation that cannot be replicated by a mouth or vagina is very difficult for him to stop. Using the cage to control the habit is a wonderful way to help regain sensation. Some men who use the cage for this purpose experience a decreased libido and even erectile dysfunction at first but it is only confidence related. Once they regain confidence the function cums back (see what I did there?). This topic is timely as I am currently writing a blog about control and his acceptance of your control is a compliment of the highest order. He not only trusts you to manage/ration his orgasms but accepts your sexual connection at the deepest level. 

Porn is another big one. Even when he isn't masturbating, you might be surprised at how frequently he pops up a porn tab in his browser. He may watch twelve seconds of that and move on to the next recommendation below. His mind, always seeking that next dopamine rush that his partner can never compare to. If problems continue after physical changes, consider eliminating porn. My opinion is that eliminating porn is much more difficult than eliminating masturbation. Software filters exist but there always seems to be a way to access porn. Some couples really struggle with porn addiction and the loss of that dopamine sensitivity is a very real thing. 

Some men tense their PC muscle during their furious masturbation until the muscle is exhausted and they are able to ejaculate. This method may not help with men who condition their bodies to unique masturbation habits. Some Kegel exercises (men can do Kegels too) might help him with his ejaculation if you experience issues off and on. Therapy is real and some men with deep religious guilt may need it but the vast majority of men seem to be due to physical or mental desensitization. 

I might be interested in doing a Q&A blog with you, would you be interested?

Emma,

Thank you for the great observations and links. So many men are becoming sexually dysfunctional and need help regaining function. I never would have imagined chastity would possibly a solution, or even a component of the solution! I would love to do a Q&A about our experiences!

I forgot to mention that there is a supplement that can help here. I mentioned the dorsal nerve that runs along the top of the penis. Aggressive or death grip masturbation usually involves the thumb pressing on this nerve. The outer covering of the nerve is affected first. This "nerve sheath" is capable or repairing itself. Studies show aphla liopic acid can help this process along. 

@macy-has-keys how long did this process take for him to get back to normal? Was he taking Alpha-Lipoic Acid? 

Posted by: @macy-has-keys

Hi, I'm Macy. I'm married to "S" for 5 years. I'm new on here. I'm already posting, but new. 

Our chastity journey began in a way I was not happy about and it's something I love today! When we began dating, he was having performance issues. Long story, but the basics are that he was masturbating many times a day and had began to damage the dorsal nerve. He fantasized about things that would never become reality in real life. This translated to real life sexual performance issues- physical and psychological. Normal sex didn't excite him the same way his fantasies did, and he couldn't get enough stimulation from my mouth or vagina to orgasm. His urologist wanted him to stop masturbating to allow the nerve to heal and to allow him to regain sensitivity in his penis. 

He tried, but couldn't stop without help. Sex therapist! Nope! He decided to lock himself in a chastity device and he wanted me to have the keys to keep him honest. At the time, I was not interested at all. I thought therapy was the answer. He slowly went through the process of finding and wearing a device long term and asked me to "keep" the keys and unlock him when we were together. We lived in separate houses and were only able to see each other once a week. 

I eventually agreed to "support" his decision. After all, I wasn't living it every day, and all I was really doing was unlocking him when we were together and locking him back up before he went home. To my surprise, it worked! He was keeping his hands off during the week, and the only time he orgasmed was with me. His nerve healed, he stopped wanking and fantasizing, regained sensitivity, and his sexual performance became awesome! Yay!

He stayed locked, unless we were together. But something strange happened. He never asked to stop chastity after he solved his sexual disfunction problem. He said there would be temptation if he took it off. Ok. Then when we got married, we still left him locked! All the time unless we were intimate. 

All this time, I have considered chastity a tool. Not a fetish, just a utilitarian tool to keep him from masturbating. I slowly started becoming intrigued. Married, and seeing him wearing it every day, it slowly became a turn on for me. We had a normal, active sex life where I unlocked him for every intimate encounter regardless of who initiated it. 

Occasionally, I would choose not to unlock him for intimacy and the control was exciting. But I love PIV with him, blowjobs, and it was a rare event to keep him locked for intimacy.  This year. Lock-NO rolls around. I've been reading about chastity and control for since my intrigue started setting in. 

In my first "real" exercise of control, I informed him we were doing Locktober-NOvember!! It's been one of the most amazing mental and sexual experiences of my life! He got a blowjob Locktober eve, and I've had one fingered g-spot O since it began. We have been teasing the crap out of each other for almost 6 weeks now, and it has me thinking about how intoxicating the control can be. 

So here I am exploring chastity in a way I never I magazined I would 7 years ago. 7 years ago when I thought he was crazy, wasting his time, and avoiding proper sex therapy treatment. Wow

 

 

First, along with the others here, welcome to this marvels place.  This is such a fantastic story and for whatever it is worth, I applaud you both for the courage to be on this path and to continue your journey as you have.  For us too, after Ms. K. (my wife) was able to see the benefits of the one being in control of our sex, she too began to understand how intoxicating that control was.  It set us up for our journey of sexual and intimate discovery that has been the best thing we have experienced as a couple.  That was 11 years ago and it only got better as time went on.  I can truly say that my primary source of pleasure and joy is seeing pleasure and joy in her.  In all aspects, not just sexually.  We both now live in nearly constant wedded bliss.  I'm very excited for the two of you as you continue on your own journey.  Thanks for sharing.

@subhubphx Thanks! We are excited to be here and participating. We have thoroughly enjoyed our experiment with Lock-No, and I'm really not sure where we are going with this. For now we are just enjoying the moments and seeing where it takes us. 

@dad-jokes It took about 6 weeks on the ALA and no masturbating.