New to this
hello I’m Ryan I’m a 20 year old college student and I recently read about male chastity in relationships in a book and when I did more research I found a site where couples shared their experience and other books and stuff. I just don’t know how to bring it up to a girl or interstate into a young relationship because I think it’d be really cool to not only trust someone to do that with but to experience the level of emotional connection it seems to bring I’ve read a few posts and it seems to be really empowering for the women. If anyone has any advice on how to bring it up in dating or integrate into a relationship and life I’d love to learn more and hear from different people.
@ryan02 (@bryaninchastity) are you the same guy as @bryan-is-not-locked (@bryanislocked)? I’d say there are two ways: direct and indirect. Direct means go swim with the sharks at fetlife.com and look for exactly what you are after. There is a lot of experience there, although maybe not a lot of women your age. Or, does your college have a kink friendly/curious student organization? Start one. Probably get student fee money to help run things these days (especially if you emphasize openness to gender fluidity).
Indirect means search by proxy using less polarizing, more familiar terms like “alpha” female, “strong, self-confident woman,” or woman who is “interested in female-led relationships.”
Either way will be a lot or work and you had better know yourself and what you want in your woman because there is a lot of variation out there. One size definitely does not fit all. You are going to have to be willing to be open and honest either way. People will smell it if you are not serious and are wasting their time.
Just my 2 cents.
I think it is important to own your truth, but you still have to be careful who you share your truth with. Your desires for kink will likely only get stronger as you get older. I went to college a long time ago and although I new I liked kink. I never let my freak flag fly. It seemed like most girls I new made it around just as much as the guys and people talked. I have no doubt I made the right choice, as it would have certainly followed me into my professional career and have a negative financial impact on my life. You have more options now than I did to find a fellow kinkster. I have looked at Fetlife and most women who were dominant wanted to either drain your wallet or abuse you and not in a good way. You should run from these women. I would stick to more Vanilla dating apps to find women outside or your core circle of friends. Look for an independent and open minded woman. Do not spring your kinks on someone on the first date. Get to know them. Build an attraction and connection. By the third date make her a meal or take her out to a restaurant where you can talk without being heard by others. The goal is to find out if she is open minded about sex. If over the past three dates you get the vibe she is all missionary then I would move on. If she seems open minded, then at this point I would be upfront with what you are looking for in a relationship and partner. Do not say "I want to you lock my cock or peg my ass." Instead say "I have really enjoyed getting to know you and I want to be honest with you about what I am looking for in a relationship. I want someone I feel connected with as well as someone who is open to trying new things and exploring their sexuality" If she looks at you like you are a creep then she is not the one. If she gets excited by this she might be the one. At this point don't be ashamed or embarrassed, be confident. Let her know that you are interested in exploring "X", and would this be something she is open to exploring more about someday. If she spits here food out and runs, then better you find out now then after wasting time thinking you can change her. By going outside your circle of friends you are less likely to have this come back to haunt you if things go south.
Good luck getting locked and pounded 😉