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Not Sure if I fit in here or not?

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Richard
(@richard)
Posts: 3
Active Member
Topic starter
 

Hello.  I am new to this site.  I have had a few longer term relationships.  Most of my past girlfriends believed I was more Dominant than Submissive, and I suspect they were right.  By Dominant I don't mean aggressive, but I think in most areas of my life I prefer to be in control.  My main attraction is the Clothed Female, Naked Male dynamic.  Not really into any of the cheating wife or hot wife angles.  I do think I like having a woman or women somewhat in charge of what I can or can't wear.  Being naked and unable to dress just seems awkward and embarrassing.  I think I also get turned on by the idea of being teased a lot.  Being naked, hard, frustrated somewhat, not being able to cum when I'd like to.  I think there is a part of me that enjoys not being 100% in control in sexual activity.  Chastity?  I might like that but maybe without cages or anything on my manhood.  Maybe having my hands bound lightly with cloth ties so I can't do much to finish myself even if I want to?  Not having the ability to use my hands is also risky as a woman could remove my pants and I couldn't really stop her.  LOL. In the past I have had some girlfriends demand I vaccumn the house naked or do some household chores naked.  That is a bit of a turn on.  I have never done it, but it would be fun to be a nude server at a women's tea party I think.  But I have no idea if any of my likes suit this group, as many of the topics seem to be based on female total domination 

 
Posted : 16/06/2022 3:58 am
Jafo987, Jafo987 and Jafo987 reacted
Jd3064169
(@jd3064169)
Posts: 51
Estimable Member
 

You fit in fine, what you describe would fit into topping from the bottom,  (setting parameters & expecting your partner to follow them). You would probably be served best by talking with your partner ahead of time, making a list of things you like, and letting them pick & choose when their in mood to take lead. You should also ask her to tell you her likes, fantasies & desires, and you workbon those also.  If you really like the CFNM aspect be sure to follow thru on any things she wants, even vacuuming. 

 
Posted : 16/06/2022 6:55 am
Richard, Richard and Richard reacted
Happy Hubby
(@happy-hubby)
Posts: 20
Trusted Member
 

I have a football player build and am a senior executive at a large global enterprise.   I oversee hundreds of people all over the world.    It is a political and manipulative environment.   I enjoy competing in a dog eat dog world.    At home my wife is the boss, and I wouldn't want it any other way.    Being dominant in your day to day life, but craving submission at home or in the bedroom is a common stereotype.    I wondered if it was my subconscious trying to balance it all out, but when I look back at my life I always dated the sexually aggressive girl, the valedictorian, the girl who spoke her mind with no filter.     I would have never said I was submissive and they were the dominant, but I came to an OMG moment where I realized I was the submissive.   It is my truth and I own it now.    

Do you fit it in?   Sure you do, but why should you care if you don't?

 
Posted : 16/06/2022 9:19 am
Jafo987, Richard, Jafo987 and 3 people reacted
Happy Hubby
(@happy-hubby)
Posts: 20
Trusted Member
 

Not sure how my response was duplicated, but I deleted my duplicate response. 

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This post was modified 6 months ago by Happy Hubby
 
Posted : 16/06/2022 9:19 am
Richard
(@richard)
Posts: 3
Active Member
Topic starter
 

@happy-hubby You make a good point.  And maybe I am like you in my natural thinking.  I think most women are attracted to dominant men anyway.  In society men are becoming less dominant and I don't think women like it much.

 
Posted : 16/06/2022 2:13 pm
Allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 220
Member
 

@Richard I think you are going to be surprised at the number of men here who are alpha males by day and under a woman’s control by night.  I find it incredibly peaceful to be liberated from having to be responsible for everything like I am in my high pressure work environment. I am sure others have different motivations.  But, we are far from a group of exclusively wimpy, beta bois.

Take @jd3064169’s advice and talk to your partner.  If you are like me, it will be a conversation that develops over time.  There is “topping-from-the-bottom,” which is manipulation in my mind.  But, I don’t think it is topping from the bottom for an alpha male to work on an agreement with his partner about who has authority in a relationship and in what areas.  To me, that is the opposite of manipulation.  It is just being sane, safe, and consensual.

 
Posted : 18/06/2022 8:51 am
J.M, J.M and J.M reacted

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