Not Sure if I fit in here or not?
Hello. I am new to this site. I have had a few longer term relationships. Most of my past girlfriends believed I was more Dominant than Submissive, and I suspect they were right. By Dominant I don't mean aggressive, but I think in most areas of my life I prefer to be in control. My main attraction is the Clothed Female, Naked Male dynamic. Not really into any of the cheating wife or hot wife angles. I do think I like having a woman or women somewhat in charge of what I can or can't wear. Being naked and unable to dress just seems awkward and embarrassing. I think I also get turned on by the idea of being teased a lot. Being naked, hard, frustrated somewhat, not being able to cum when I'd like to. I think there is a part of me that enjoys not being 100% in control in sexual activity. Chastity? I might like that but maybe without cages or anything on my manhood. Maybe having my hands bound lightly with cloth ties so I can't do much to finish myself even if I want to? Not having the ability to use my hands is also risky as a woman could remove my pants and I couldn't really stop her. LOL. In the past I have had some girlfriends demand I vaccumn the house naked or do some household chores naked. That is a bit of a turn on. I have never done it, but it would be fun to be a nude server at a women's tea party I think. But I have no idea if any of my likes suit this group, as many of the topics seem to be based on female total domination
You fit in fine, what you describe would fit into topping from the bottom, (setting parameters & expecting your partner to follow them). You would probably be served best by talking with your partner ahead of time, making a list of things you like, and letting them pick & choose when their in mood to take lead. You should also ask her to tell you her likes, fantasies & desires, and you workbon those also. If you really like the CFNM aspect be sure to follow thru on any things she wants, even vacuuming.
I have a football player build and am a senior executive at a large global enterprise. I oversee hundreds of people all over the world. It is a political and manipulative environment. I enjoy competing in a dog eat dog world. At home my wife is the boss, and I wouldn't want it any other way. Being dominant in your day to day life, but craving submission at home or in the bedroom is a common stereotype. I wondered if it was my subconscious trying to balance it all out, but when I look back at my life I always dated the sexually aggressive girl, the valedictorian, the girl who spoke her mind with no filter. I would have never said I was submissive and they were the dominant, but I came to an OMG moment where I realized I was the submissive. It is my truth and I own it now.
Do you fit it in? Sure you do, but why should you care if you don't?
@happy-hubby You make a good point. And maybe I am like you in my natural thinking. I think most women are attracted to dominant men anyway. In society men are becoming less dominant and I don't think women like it much.
@Richard I think you are going to be surprised at the number of men here who are alpha males by day and under a woman’s control by night. I find it incredibly peaceful to be liberated from having to be responsible for everything like I am in my high pressure work environment. I am sure others have different motivations. But, we are far from a group of exclusively wimpy, beta bois.
Take @jd3064169’s advice and talk to your partner. If you are like me, it will be a conversation that develops over time. There is “topping-from-the-bottom,” which is manipulation in my mind. But, I don’t think it is topping from the bottom for an alpha male to work on an agreement with his partner about who has authority in a relationship and in what areas. To me, that is the opposite of manipulation. It is just being sane, safe, and consensual.