Not Working Out
Hello. My husband and I have been together for four years time and were married last year in November. After we were married we have used a cage off and on to help boost intimacy that decreased after marriage and through the lockdown. He becomes withdrawn and sullen after on a couple days so I usually just unlock him and by the next day he is back to himself. Do you know why its not working for him and what I can do to make it better? My friend referred me to the site and she has great luck but said that it may not work for everyone.
Hi Arianna and welcome to the site. I am sorry to hear that it isn't working out. I offer no warranties on my methods so NO REFUNDS!
I am just kidding of course. I did post a blog about this sort of problem because it is common. The blog I wrote was more about resentment but resentment can also a good indicator of things not working. There are two ways that you can help enforce and motivate in your relationship.
- Positive Reinforcement - Can you tell me about the types of teasing that you did while he was locked up? How did you reward him for being locked up for you?
- Negative Reinforcement - When he was misbehaving, what did you do to "punish" him?
I am not casting judgement but it does sound like his poor behavior may have been rewarded by removing his cage. It is also important for him to be on the same page as you. This needs to be a method of working together for an amazing relationship and doesn't work well if this is something you "do to him". Think about going to a marriage/family therapist, things won't go very well if he just sits there and doesn't participate in the therapy session. Well, same goes for his little locking therapist!