Some questions I wo...
 
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Some questions I would like answered if its possible.

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sarah
(@sarah)
Trusted Member

Would like to get directly on to my questions, I dont know if I will have any more of them later on but these are the ones I can think of right now:

 

1) I know that pegging whether it was soft or hardcore its primarily domination. A lady being dominant over the man in bed in a loving way of course but, and this question is mainly for guys, I cant help but laugh or giggle a bit when I pegged Rayan. Do you guys find the lady laughing or giggling while the poor you are going through all that as rude or offensive in anyway? note thatIi constantly ask if he is ok and if he wants me to continue and make sure he is doing alright. I asked him this question and he said its fine, he even admitted he finds it hot, but what do guys think of that? Honestly what i find funny and makes me laugh and giggle a bit is that the guys put themselves in that situation of being pegged willingly and moan and make all the vulnerable voices and body reactions. Like we ask you if you want us to stop but no you want more.

 

2) I know that things like high heels and tying up and stuff like that are mainly seen in porn and not the real thing but, we tried both and I think we both loved it, because half way through it when i asked him if he would want me to untie him he said no and he wanted me to keep him tied up and he later said he loved seeing me in heels. Now I am really good on my feet in heels and every time i wear heels in bed i feel super confident, and seeing him being bent over and tied up made me feel super strong. The heels especially make me feel so damn empowered especially ones like those

 

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So my question is that is it odd or unusual that i feel this surge of confidence when doing either of them?

 

3) I just wanna say that i have nothing but love and respect to everyone and in no way I mean this as offensive to anyone or trying to sexualize anyone. One of my greatest fetishes that turn me on is interracial sex, so I bought a black dildo to use on my white husband, cause I thought it would be funny and it would be so hot for me. I asked Rayan and he said he always had a bit of an insecurity when it came to comparing him with black guys so he said its not one thing he would be fond of but if I really wanted to try it, he would be willing to give it a try. You think I should give it a try? I really really wanna give it a go. And I wanna say again, I have nothing but love and respect for everyone no matter what your skin color is and I love everyone and dont mean to sexualize anyone, its just a fetish i want to try in bed, nothing but love for you all.

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Topic starter Posted : 09/11/2021 4:52 pm
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Prominent Member Supporter
Posted by: @sarah

Do you guys find the lady laughing or giggling while the poor you are going through all that as rude or offensive in anyway?

I guess that would depend on the guy, and is the giggling by the lady coming from a place of genuine shame or disappointment in her man?  Or is she giggling because she's nervous the first few times she fucks her man with a rubber cock?  It's naughty, and not "normal"eing a woman, having a cock on and penetrating her man is not "normal" and is so new that she feels like she's doing something that society has deemed naughty or wrong, and is maybe a little embarrassed about it or is dealing with her own shame because she enjoys it?  One of those is completely different than the other.

Humiliation is one of those terms that means different things to different people in different circumstances.  Is allowing your wife to decide when, how and if you orgasm humiliating?  Is being required to lower your pants in order to receive a spanking to correct a misdeed humiliating?  Yup, in the eyes of someone that hasn't even been introduced to the concept or the benefits.  They'd be like "Dude, seriously?  What a pussy." ... because that's how guys talk.  So yeah, humiliating.  Is it humiliating in the privacy of my marriage?  Not one bit.  Having your private life revealed like "what would the girls in your office think if they knew the big boss was wearing cock cage?" ... kinda thing.  How humiliating would that be?  Horrifying.  But, the idea can also very erotic precisely because the risk of it being revealed would be horrifying. 

But other things that get thrown into the humiliation bucket of sex play are things that press on your reality and things that you have little or no way of changing.  Like your penis is too small (sph), or you aren't enough to satisfy me sexually, or I need a real man to do the heavy lifting in bed kinda thing.  Even though it may be presented in a "I'm just teasing" manner, there is an element of truth and the prospect of that reality can live deep in the gut like a cancer seed, and cancer seeds don't die on their own.    Communication of course is the key.  There's that word again ... communication.  Not bullshit communication where a nervous question is asked and and a telling-you-what-you-want-to-hear answer is given, but real, honest, complete communication. This is my personal opinion as it relates to my feelings of course, and yes, I am fully aware that there plenty of people that do get genuine excitement and arousal from all forms of humiliation, and I am thrilled that they can find joy in such things.  We are all different and if it works for them, then I am truly happy for them.  I love to see joy in people's lives.

So, do guys find their lady laughing at them rude or offensive?  Some do and some don't.  Some not only find not offensive, but very much erotic.  In the end, the only thing that matters is what your guy and you feel about it when you have the urge to laugh.  I'll bet you a nickel though that your giggling and laughing was from nervousness about trying something new.  A lot of nervous laughter happens when we do exciting things for the first time. 

Like non-monogamy, ethical humiliation is one of those playing with fire things in a relationship.  Maybe even a hotter fire.  Once it's done for the first time, it cannot be undone and if the reasons for venturing into that area are not fully understood and mutually agreed .... boom, a bomb has gone off.  If the couple has communicated well enough to mutually understand what they are getting into and can truly find joy in it, I've heard these things can do amazing things to grow a relationship. 

For whatever it is worth, I think you guys have an amazing relationship and beginning to a journey that will bind you together more as your journey continues.  Journeys are fun!  Love and enjoy each other.  

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Posted : 10/11/2021 5:33 am
sarah
(@sarah)
Trusted Member

@subhubphx Thank you so much for your feedback, would love to hear it about my second and third question if its ok with you. I will admit that my giggling at first was that of nervousness cause we were so new to it but later on after i got used to it and like got the feel of the whole thing while pegging him, i kind of had the whole its hot and funny watching him like that. Was the giggling that of humiliation? I dont know, but I wouldnt describe it that way, did he feel humiliated maybe, I dont know, gotta ask him, however I would describe it as such an empowering feeling. Like if you ever told the 18 or 19 years old me who was just totally lacking in confidence and strong character that I would be in love with such an amazing guy and I would be bending him over, tying him up, pulling his hair and fucking him in the ass, i would totally break in tears cause I would think you are just making fun of me cause I was totally   without character back then. Sorry if it was too dramatic to talk about that, but just expressing what i meant by giggling while doing his butt.

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Topic starter Posted : 10/11/2021 4:36 pm
subhubphx liked
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin
Posted by: @sarah

Would like to get directly on to my questions, I dont know if I will have any more of them later on but these are the ones I can think of right now:

 

1) I know that pegging whether it was soft or hardcore its primarily domination. A lady being dominant over the man in bed in a loving way of course but, and this question is mainly for guys, I cant help but laugh or giggle a bit when I pegged Rayan. Do you guys find the lady laughing or giggling while the poor you are going through all that as rude or offensive in anyway? note thatIi constantly ask if he is ok and if he wants me to continue and make sure he is doing alright. I asked him this question and he said its fine, he even admitted he finds it hot, but what do guys think of that? Honestly what i find funny and makes me laugh and giggle a bit is that the guys put themselves in that situation of being pegged willingly and moan and make all the vulnerable voices and body reactions. Like we ask you if you want us to stop but no you want more.

Absolutely! Pegging is awkward, silly and downright uncomfortable. All you can do is laugh the first few times. I'd argue that pegging means many things to different couples.

 

2) I know that things like high heels and tying up and stuff like that are mainly seen in porn and not the real thing but, we tried both and I think we both loved it, because half way through it when i asked him if he would want me to untie him he said no and he wanted me to keep him tied up and he later said he loved seeing me in heels. Now I am really good on my feet in heels and every time i wear heels in bed i feel super confident, and seeing him being bent over and tied up made me feel super strong. The heels especially make me feel so damn empowered especially ones like those

 So my question is that is it odd or unusual that i feel this surge of confidence when doing either of them?

Absolutely not. Feeling sexy is fucking empowering. Enjoy the sexual energy!

 

3) I just wanna say that i have nothing but love and respect to everyone and in no way I mean this as offensive to anyone or trying to sexualize anyone. One of my greatest fetishes that turn me on is interracial sex, so I bought a black dildo to use on my white husband, cause I thought it would be funny and it would be so hot for me. I asked Rayan and he said he always had a bit of an insecurity when it came to comparing him with black guys so he said its not one thing he would be fond of but if I really wanted to try it, he would be willing to give it a try. You think I should give it a try? I really really wanna give it a go. And I wanna say again, I have nothing but love and respect for everyone no matter what your skin color is and I love everyone and dont mean to sexualize anyone, its just a fetish i want to try in bed, nothing but love for you all.

 

Sure! If you are both interested and it isn't hurting anyone, knock yourself out. I'm not a fan of racism as it relates to black men in the cuckold/bull scene. It makes me feel awkward and I can't feel comfortable with it. Others do and that's fine for them. I even know a few black bulls that want a certain level of race play. Not for me but everyone has their fetish and what the human mind fetishizes is outside of our control for the most part. If everyone involved is consenting, knock yourself out.


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Posted : 10/11/2021 9:32 pm
sarah
(@sarah)
Trusted Member

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j Thank you so much for that Emma, what about you though? What in pegging turns you on most?

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Topic starter Posted : 11/11/2021 3:18 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Prominent Member Supporter
Posted by: @sarah

@subhubphx Thank you so much for your feedback, would love to hear it about my second and third question if its ok with you. I will admit that my giggling at first was that of nervousness cause we were so new to it but later on after i got used to it and like got the feel of the whole thing while pegging him, i kind of had the whole its hot and funny watching him like that. Was the giggling that of humiliation? I dont know, but I wouldnt describe it that way, did he feel humiliated maybe, I dont know, gotta ask him, however I would describe it as such an empowering feeling. Like if you ever told the 18 or 19 years old me who was just totally lacking in confidence and strong character that I would be in love with such an amazing guy and I would be bending him over, tying him up, pulling his hair and fucking him in the ass, i would totally break in tears cause I would think you are just making fun of me cause I was totally   without character back then. Sorry if it was too dramatic to talk about that, but just expressing what i meant by giggling while doing his butt.

Sorry Sarah, I was so busy prattling on that I forgot 2 and 3.  

2.)    No, it is not odd or unusual in any way.  I think should do or wear and set the mood in whatever way makes them happy and feel sexy!

3.)    Absolutely you should give it a try.  If interracial sex turns you on and makes you hot, then run with it and enjoy yourself.  Whether that means buying a black dildo or taking on a lover of a race you find arousing, run with it and enjoy yourself.  Fetishism shouldn't be lumped in with racism, IMO.  The part of our minds that creates arousal and preferences is still ours, at least for now.

No, I don't think you were dramatic at all.  No need to apologize.  I enjoy people that express themselves and especially when they are on a journey to enhance their lives, sexually or otherwise.  

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Posted : 11/11/2021 6:02 am
sarah
(@sarah)
Trusted Member

@subhubphx Thank you so much and no its fine, thats so sweet of you. I hope i didnt trouble you with my many questions, its just i am 38 years old and such a beautiful change in our lives is something we just discovered and need a bit of help with it. Rayan and I talked further about it and I have few things I would love if I figured my way around which are:

4) According to Rayan he said he found me hot and powerful when he saw me in the heels but he says that he couldnt help but feel a bit vulnerable when he heard the sound of my heels as i walked to peg him. If I may ask, why is it that in pegging heels makes guys feel overpowered or overwhelmed?

 

5) How do you feel about sucking a dildo before the lady pegs your butt with it? We never tried it but I want to next time.

 

 

If you dont mind tell me how you feel in general as a guy about pegging?

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Topic starter Posted : 11/11/2021 6:39 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Prominent Member Supporter
Posted by: @sarah

@subhubphx Thank you so much and no its fine, thats so sweet of you. I hope i didnt trouble you with my many questions, its just i am 38 years old and such a beautiful change in our lives is something we just discovered and need a bit of help with it. Rayan and I talked further about it and I have few things I would love if I figured my way around which are:

4) According to Rayan he said he found me hot and powerful when he saw me in the heels but he says that he couldnt help but feel a bit vulnerable when he heard the sound of my heels as i walked to peg him. If I may ask, why is it that in pegging heels makes guys feel overpowered or overwhelmed?

 

5) How do you feel about sucking a dildo before the lady pegs your butt with it? We never tried it but I want to next time.

 

 

If you dont mind tell me how you feel in general as a guy about pegging?

I don't mind at all sarah.  I'm honored you ask me these things.  I was no trouble at all. Only 38 years old?  You have so much time for exploration and your journey together.  

4.)  I can understand why your husband found it hot and vulnerable when he heard and saw you in your heels.  What husband wouldn't really?  I think the visual is very exciting and I know I appreciate it when my wife add visual excitement to our lovemaking.  Sometimes (when pegging) it's her wearing her regular clothes like jeans and a t shirt.  It makes me feel like she knows that I need to be used as her plaything/slut for some reason and that she is doing me a favor by donning the strap on over her clothes.  Sort of a CFNM thing I guess.  Its hot.  Sometimes it nothing but heels and a pearl necklace.  Elegant, sexy and adds so much grace to her appearance.  Sometimes she butt-assed naked.  Or variations of all of the above.  All of them are awesome.

To your question about feeling overpowered and overwhelmed ... for me it is the anticipation of what is about to happen.  Personally I'm not really overwhelmed by it but rather anxiously excited about what is about to happen.  The mere act of being penetrated by (in our case) my Mistress Wife is a complete reversal of gender roles and in the relationship.  There is a certain natural power that exists within the one with the penis (rubber or real) because that person will be penetrating the other.  Also, there is a certain level of willing submission within the one accepting penetration of the penis (rubber or otherwise).  Once the man is able to abandon the societal learned hesitations that come with being penetrated, he can genuinely enjoy being made love by the person he loves the most, and when that happens, its a magical experience.  For me, I never fully understood the joy being pegged until i was with my cage on.  It had the metal effect of taking my penis completely out of the equation in my mind while it was happening and I was better able to wallow in the joy of the perceived feminine energy that is associates with it.  It was amazing.  I suspect over time, your husband will discover similar amazing feelings of joy by being penetrated by the one he loves.  In a WLM marriage especially, the act of pegging is a very power moment for both of us to exist in an incredible intimate activity while simultaneously reestablishing who is in charge.  It's awesome.

5.)  I have never been asked by Ms. K. to suck her cock when she puts it on.  For her, it just isn't something that she finds sexy.  I imagine it has something to do with her not wanting to see the visual of her big, strong, masculine, otherwise alpha husband sucking a cock ... even a fake one.  That said there are two things.  One, if it was something that she wanted, I absolutely would do it in a heart beat.  Afterall, it really is only all about what she wants, which makes me incredibly happy.  Two, since we recently have become empty nesters, our journey on our path to experience a deeper WLM has accelerated rapidly and things that she said were of no interest to her in the past, were things that she would never even allude to during roleplay or in our many discussion about our life together.  That has changed.  Things like sucking her rubber cum, eating my cum whenever I am allowed to ejaculate and even her having sex with another man (or woman) have entered into the conversation at least in terms of roleplay.  So who knows.  We'll see were that goes.

So sucking her cock?  No, because I don't have a natural interest in it.  Doing it because I was asked or told to ... absofuckinglutely and I would do it with enthusiasm and an erection.

How do feel in general about pegging?  I absolutely love it and it is one of the most powerful, intimate connections we have together!

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Posted : 11/11/2021 7:28 am
sarah
(@sarah)
Trusted Member

@subhubphx I just wanna say thank you so so so much for this amazing reply, it was so helpful thanks a lot. I hope other guys and ladies around here would share their opinions as well. Would it be any trouble in the future if I had any thing i Want to ask about that i ask it here? And hope it ist much trouble, I think Rayan is losing interest here cause he said he isnt getting much feedback and I think this website really can be good for our relationship in bed, can you give him a bit of feedback, I am sorry if I am sounding childish its just he said he put his heart into typing how he felt here

 

 

https://www.evolvingyourman.com/community/pegging-role-reversal/from-my-perspective/#post-5249

 

 

And didnt get any kind of reply or feedback about it from anyone.

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Topic starter Posted : 11/11/2021 10:53 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Prominent Member Supporter
Posted by: @sarah

@subhubphx I just wanna say thank you so so so much for this amazing reply, it was so helpful thanks a lot. I hope other guys and ladies around here would share their opinions as well. Would it be any trouble in the future if I had any thing i Want to ask about that i ask it here? And hope it ist much trouble, I think Rayan is losing interest here cause he said he isnt getting much feedback and I think this website really can be good for our relationship in bed, can you give him a bit of feedback, I am sorry if I am sounding childish its just he said he put his heart into typing how he felt here

 

 

https://www.evolvingyourman.com/community/pegging-role-reversal/from-my-perspective/#post-5249

 

 

And didnt get any kind of reply or feedback about it from anyone.

Of course sarah.  Ask anything you want, here in the open or even by private message from here if you want.  

Ask Rayan to be patient.  To be honest, I read it and felt the grammar and punctuation made it difficult to read and follow.  I hope you/he will accept that comment as constructive criticism and not take it personally.  I've been doing this blog thing a long and learned long ago not to worry about reply or feedback as a gauge of anything, especially soon after writing something. 


Captain America Reaction GIF

 

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Posted : 11/11/2021 11:48 am
Jd3064169
(@jd3064169)
Eminent Member

#2 &#3 kinda go together.   Whether you're a guy giving it or a woman giving it, the feel of power & confidence comes naturally cause your doing something to someone else that goes against tradition and requires a lot of submission from the other person especially if it's their fist time. Adding a blk dido feeds your confidence in the same was black & white go against traditional norms.  If your husband likes the submissive aspect that can feed into the fantasy. Worst case try it, and really sell how much your turned on by it.

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Posted : 11/11/2021 12:45 pm
Headtrip
(@headtrip)
Eminent Member

Read his post and it was a great summary, just commented accordingly.  

 

I can only second what others have said above: GO FOR IT!  It is clear Rayan is on board and understands the power exchange, vulnerability and other aspects of pegging.  I think you can tease him and test his limits to your heart/fantasy's content and he will be good.  And who wouldn't love to see their woman in heels like that!

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Posted : 11/11/2021 1:24 pm
sarah
(@sarah)
Trusted Member

@jd3064169 and @headtrip Thank you so much and truly appreciated. How do you feel about being pegged in front of a mirror? Like how do guys feel about seeing themselves in such a vulnerable position? Is it the kind of thing you wanna feel but not see? or does seeing yourself get dominated make it better?

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Topic starter Posted : 11/11/2021 1:34 pm
subhubphx liked
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Prominent Member Supporter
Posted by: @sarah

@jd3064169 and @headtrip Thank you so much and truly appreciated. How do you feel about being pegged in front of a mirror? Like how do guys feel about seeing themselves in such a vulnerable position? Is it the kind of thing you wanna feel but not see? or does seeing yourself get dominated make it better?

Given a choice, I'd want many mirrors and video tape!  

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Posted : 11/11/2021 2:05 pm
sarah
(@sarah)
Trusted Member

@subhubphx I am sorry if its a bit of a personal thing to ask, but asking Rayan he said he enjoyed me making him watch himself get fucked. So may I ask what about it you like? I mean whats so pleasurable about it? Is it watching yourself get taken hard?

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Topic starter Posted : 11/11/2021 2:10 pm
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