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From fantasy to...

7 Posts
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Eminent Member
Topic starter

My wife isn't interested in most of my fantasies, including chastity or orgasm control. She rejected my interest in pegging (she is super turned off by the idea of dildos or harnesses). But a few weeks ago, my wife broke a barrier by indulging in one of my oldest fantasies - hotwife/cuckold/etc.

She came back from an out-of-town work trip and while we were fooling around, she whispered to me, "You know that fantasy? About me and another guy?"

My heart raced and my breathing stopped. "Yes," I whispered.

"Well I met someone kind of...interesting."

She's not very comfortable with explicit talk and while it was clear that nothing happened between them, it made for incredibly hot fantasy play and it messed with my head in all the right ways. Over the next few days, I kept bringing it up and asking her more questions.


Fast forward a few days and I'm still thinking about it nonstop. It turns out, she's thinking about him quite a bit as well. The thing is, she isn't sure if he felt the same spark she did.

A few weeks in, it's become a frequent topic between us and she's gone from playing with my fantasy to developing a bit of a crush on this guy. I'm pretty sure that's mostly my fault; if I didn't keep bringing it up, she would have left it alone. Instead, she's seeing him through my eyes but applying it to a real person she knows. And who she will very likely see again in the future. So I'm probably responsible for my wife developing a crush on another man.

She doesn't know if he is or would be interested in her. She's afraid to put herself out there and ask or hint about it. And she feels guilty about the whole situation, about thinking about him.

On my end, it's terrifying and exciting and sexy and humiliating. I wrote her a story to help build a fantasy in her mind, one that stayed PG and resolved the "does he or doesn't he" question. She liked that one. She doesn't care for my more explicit stories. It feels like she's more sexually excited and open, that all the fun brain drugs that come with a crush or new relationship are affecting her in ways that I'm enjoying.

I'm not sure where this will lead. She texts him occasionally, only as friends. Maybe they'll flirt. Maybe she'll get bold and put herself out there. If she were in his area she said she would think about going to lunch or dinner with him. I wonder if this is a new chapter for us or just a momentary, intoxicating, fantasy.

Posted : 19/04/2022 1:28 am
TinCup, nevertoolate, TinCup and 3 people reacted
Trusted Member

You both enjoy this so that is a great start!

Being supportive and sharing in her opening up to this is also very good. Let her know that you support and enjoy her journey and will always be supportive of her pursuits, especially when they don't work out. If you can remove yourself from the original male centered fantasy, concentrate your interests on her fears, joys, and wishes.

Married women take great risks when having relations outside the marriage. Many variables involved. One set of variables you can help with is being that safe harbor she knows is always there, with the good and bad.

Posted : 20/04/2022 7:47 pm
philaster, TinCup, philaster and 3 people reacted
Eminent Member
Topic starter

Thank you for the feedback. It's been difficult for me to stow my jealousy and insecurities. I'm trying, but my brain and my heart and my gut don't seem to want to align. We'll see if it turns into anything beyond friends and if I can adjust to the idea stepping beyond fantasy.

Posted : 21/04/2022 12:01 am
Active Member

You mentioned she was away on a work trip but I don't think you gave context on whether this was a work friend?  In any event, what is the context of their relationship going into this?  If it is someone she will continue to interact with professionally, any concerns there?  

My wife and I are not headed in this (poly / cuck) direction so I can't speak from any first hand experience, but usually you're looking for sex-only type of relationships and avoid drinking where you piss, right?  Regardless of the assumptions there, are you and your wife on the same page what you're looking for?  It seems her foundation / interest is around a specific person; not this specific act etc.  Should you now maybe use this as a great way to acknowledge your both into this and change lanes into an alternate network of people that aren't part of your ongoing life etc?  IDK.  This other guy; I'm assuming you both don't envision him being in your lives the rest of your life etc with this parallel thing going, right?  So this will come to an end whether it is clean or ugly.  Either way, what are the residual effects?  Even a clean ending would seem to bring a lot of side effects beyond the sex-only thing that neither of you are looking for.  You worried all the time when you thought it was over and maybe your wife still likes him in secret?  Your wife dealing with this other guy thinking he has an open door whenever he wants when maybe that door has been closed etc?  Or he get's to bring up random things inappropriately for the rest of his life in mixed company?  Again IDK and I have no experience first hand, but I'm just keep gravitating to the don't piss where you dink etc.  Then again, I have no clue it is a work friend of your wife's; it does seem to be someone she already knows though in some existing network that you are in at some level even if it is just "the wife's husband" etc.  

Thanks for sharing and good luck ... looking forward to updates on how things progress!


Posted : 22/04/2022 12:00 am
Eminent Member
Topic starter

Good points to consider. It's not a direct work relationship thing, more of an annual, industry-adjacent conference that they both attended and met at. He doesn't have any overlap with our community, social circles, etc. So I'm not so worried about that.

They will see each other at the conference next year. I've gone with her to conferences in the past, but not this one, and she's tried to get me to go. I'm not sure it's my thing, but also it could end up being pretty awkward depending on the state of affairs by then. Or we could have moved past it and dropped the entire thing and it would be fine (just our little secret).

The comment from @nevertoolate about getting away from the male-centered fantasy has been echoing in my head. It's not about me. And truthfully, it's extremely unlikely that anything will come of it.

Posted : 22/04/2022 12:40 pm
Active Member

If it doesn't offend you, then I'm happy for you. Overall, the main thing that both agreed. 

Posted : 27/06/2022 5:52 am
Eminent Member

You never know.  I thought nothing would come of it for my wife but now - here we are.  It just happened and we are still sorting things out.  We are still sorting things out but I think we are on a good path.  

Posted : 28/07/2022 1:46 pm