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So my Wife brought up an open relationship

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bestwhencaged
(@bestwhencaged)
Estimable Member
Topic starter
 

As i have written before, my Wife and i are exploring adding a sensual FemDom aspect to O/our marriage.  She asked what i thought about me seeking more extreme domination from another Woman (like the Pro Domme W/we will see next month - W/we had to reschedule from last Wednesday).  She said that if W/we did that, W/we'd have to have an open relationship and She'd seek out other men for sex.

If this is a fantasy for Hers, then i think that She should.  i would just like to be present.  

Thoughts?

 
Posted : 19/12/2021 3:40 am
Stevesub
(@stevesub)
Estimable Member
 

As Femdom goes these ideas are at the top end of things, so it's best to be certain there's consent all round, even you as the sub. Is your presence a sticking point or would go with her being elsewhere (or you being elsewhere, or in another room). Might this be her saying she's uncomfortable with the pro-domme and she's trying to make you uncomfortable in return? If so, would consenting push her into an uncomfortable place for her?

Lots of honest communication before a big step I think.

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Posted : 19/12/2021 1:56 pm
Emma, nevertoolate, bestwhencaged and 6 people reacted
nevertoolate
(@nevertoolate)
Trusted Member
 

I think she may welcome the extra help in dominating you and it may be her way of opening the relationship fairly for both of you. Depending upon how long you have had a relationship, the idea and appeal of having sexual and romantic relations outside gains with time. It not an odd or weird feeling. We are wired that way.

You, like most men so inclined, are also eager to watch your wife with another lover. It may be just the voyeur in us, or you want to witness the love of your life enjoy herself (compersion) or it may also help reinforce your subordinate position and feelings. 

Keep in mind your wife and leader may have other feelings in play, one being your presence may be a big distraction. Many men prefer to wait patiently elsewhere "anxiously" waiting to reconnect after she and her lover are finished. Might be in another room, miles away, or days away, but the ritual of reconnecting is a special time and important to both of you.

Communicate and enjoy the journey. 

 
Posted : 19/12/2021 4:36 pm
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Famed Member Admin
 

I think the key is to ensure that this is something that brings you together rather than something that pulls you apart. If she is seeking out men for sex as a tit for tat in terms of your seeking a pro domme then I would agree with @stevesub. You need to have some good conversation about motivation. Is seeking men for sex really a fantasy of hers? If so, maybe you lead with that. Let her seek out men for sex and then see if you want the pro domme. If you are present for her with another man and she is present for your domme session then this might be a great way for the two of you to grow your sexual bond together and deepen the relationship.

 
Posted : 19/12/2021 5:54 pm
MPowerYou, nevertoolate, subhubphx and 9 people reacted
sarah
(@sarah)
Estimable Member
 

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j Oh sweetie, i dont think you are understanding me well. Their relationship is over, like done, no way back, but he wants closure and wants to talk to her, she doesnt wanna talk to him or reply to  any f his messages until one time he told her, he would let her peg him just so he can have a chat with her before going their separate ways.

 
Posted : 19/12/2021 5:59 pm
sarah
(@sarah)
Estimable Member
 

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j So sorry replied on the wrong post.

 
Posted : 19/12/2021 6:08 pm
bestwhencaged
(@bestwhencaged)
Estimable Member
Topic starter
 
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

I think the key is to ensure that this is something that brings you together rather than something that pulls you apart. If she is seeking out men for sex as a tit for tat in terms of your seeking a pro domme then I would agree with @stevesub. You need to have some good conversation about motivation. Is seeking men for sex really a fantasy of hers? If so, maybe you lead with that. Let her seek out men for sex and then see if you want the pro domme. If you are present for her with another man and she is present for your domme session then this might be a great way for the two of you to grow your sexual bond together and deepen the relationship.

Excellent points made all around.  Yes, i was thinking that it may have been a tit-for-tat, in which that's a bad idea.  W/we are seeing a Pro Domme next month to guide/teach my Wife about impact play.  And if that goes well, future sessions with TENS unit (my Wife said She's up for that), and sounding (hadn't mentioned it to Her.  Didn't want to give a laundry list of things i'd like to explore with Her.  Let's first see how this first session goes). That said, my Wife does enjoy pegging.

i don't know if She suggested an open relationship as a result of Her desiring other men (having that initial chemistry) or to "level the playing field."  The Pro Domme that W/we are speaking to was great during the video conference.  i did mention what my Wife said, and it will be discussed down the line.

Communication, at the right time.

 
Posted : 19/12/2021 9:40 pm
Emma, nevertoolate, Emma and 3 people reacted
Phil0110
(@phil0110)
Active Member
 

Of course, why not, the main thing, you should discuss it with Her! 

 
Posted : 27/06/2022 5:39 am

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