[Solved] When I fail to follow through on our budding FLR agreements

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for the long post but I’m hoping this community can offer suggestions to improve our wife led marriage, in particular how I can handle my emotions when I know I’ve disappointed her by not following through on our agreements. 

I am submissive and have a deep desire to please my wife. I struggle when I know I disappoint her. We both work, I am full time, she is part time, and we have three children two pre teens and one teenager at home.  All boys. I have agreed to do the following in our marriage. 

1. Cook dinner on my days off
2. inform my wife of time when I am coming home by 1:00 pm each day (I have a flexible schedule) 
3. List my work hours in calendar each week so my wife can plan our family meals. 
   
4. Meal plan with wife. 
5. Go to Sam’s Club shop, and pick up items.
6. Monitor cash flow and pay the bills on time and keep wife informed. 
7. Plan activities and tours for trips.
8. Keep gas in the car and van for wife so she never has to pump gas.
9. Communicate emotional needs and feelings and make requests instead of bottling up and being an ass. 
10. Do the dishes each night, (my favorite thing to do as she often teases me during this time) make morning coffee, and supplement drinks. 
11. Tend garden and household repairs.
12. Do the laundry. 
13. Follow her lead in the bedroom, only cum with her permission and after she has already orgasmed. 
14. Cherish my wife, teaching our boys how to properly treat a woman. 

By doing these things I free my wife up to have time with her friends as well as work out regularly where she maintains her awesome body. In return my wife is to lead with kind but firm words. Our goal is to create emotional safety for both of us and for my wife to know what to expect. 

I do most of this well, but have struggled to follow through on communicating when I will be home and listing my flexible work schedule in the calendar.

For example, on Friday I had communicated I would work, and then go to our garden. My wife expected me to be home when she came home at 8:30 but I wasn’t. When she confronted me, I knew I disappointed her. I became defensive and dismissed her concern even though I knew 1. I didn’t follow through on our agreement (which she reminded me she has asked for over and over again) and 2. My not being home when I said is triggering for her since her ex was always at the bar. This of course escalated in various ways in the next 24 hours, including both of us raising our voices. I have apologized to her for justifying, I was carrying some resentments, my lack of communication on Friday, but we still have to deal with raising our voices in particular my raising my voice at her. I think that needs to be a hard limit that I don’t raise my voice. 

Any suggestions for me to create space for her disappointment?

Suggestions on ways for her to offer correction to me without being harsh in her tone?  

We’re missing something here, a list of consequences for non performance perhaps.  If that’s it, what should those consequences be? What discipline / consequences works for you?
I think we also need a regular time to check in and monitor these agreements.   I hope this community can offer suggestions to improve our relationship.  Thanks.