After three years.
I have posted this already, but it hunk in the wrong place?
Often the question arises "why?" Are we all insane?
I thought this might clarify things or put me straight into the asylum.
Either way. I Hope it makes sense to someone.
Over Three years since we started this journey.
Well, I say 'We'. C definitely wasn't on board.
I will start again.
It has been over three years since 'I' started this journey. What a ride so far.
The first year was difficult, lots of trial, error and a great deal of resistance from C, but it did bring about many changes, and it did open the door to new kinks and a more exciting life.
For me it was always exciting, but try as I might, I couldn't get away from it being about me at the end of the day, and C found it all too much.
The second year. C did get on board. I eventually had the courage and sense to let C take the reigns. It was when C took over, the real changes started to happen. Real improvements, permanent changes. Life improvements that have changed us both.
The second year became more about 'us' and certainly a lot more about C.
I think statistically, the fist year I was locked 50% of the time, much of which was me locking me and C putting up with it.
The second year over 90% with C being the one to insist.
The third year permanently locked apart from 'playtime' in a steel cage with steel urethral tube.
On the sex side. I would say at least a 400% increase and ironically, it is no longer about the sex anyway. The preasure has gone, and the gates have opened.
Relationship-wise. The increase in how we get on, bond, play, find each other of interest and the need/want to be together is immeasurable.
The cage hasn't done this. It was in a way a catalyst.
We did this .
C did this.
The cage hasn't altered us or changed us, but has helped us discover who we are and we realise that we like each other. A lot!
The real changes came about as a result of being able to communicate, being able to listen and get in tune with each other.
The cage has enabled C to say No. To help herself when it suits her, without preasure, guilt or resentment.
My ED has gone. I realise it was never really there, it was all in my head, caused more by my needs, expectations, failures and doubts.
The cage.. Helps. It gives us something to point at or blame or use, that in a way side steps the awkwardness of not being in the mood or wanting to ask for something unusual.
No is replaced with "I'm keeping you locked" which has turned a No into a sexual thing, a happy thing.
We can talk about anything now without it being dismissed out of hand. For example C tells of how my being locked and desperate pleases her, or how it entertains her to see me struggle when I'm made to clean up my own cum.
Q: Who, in a normal relationship can have this type of conversation?
Answer : Anyone.
The hard bit is having a normal relationship.
Two years ago.. I genuinely found it difficult to ask C if we might be able to have sex. And then I would belive any form of 'OK' from C was given begrudgingly, and I would lose my erections. A complete failure.
Now.. If my erections did fail. And I can't remember when it last did, I'd laugh about it and C would lock it up and find another use for me. We don't need 'it' anyway to have great sex.
We don't even have to have sex to have great sex!
Some of the best moments are in the here and now. A word, a look, a promise of being locked, of being denied, released, teased etc.
Being told " I won't be using using your dick any time soon", is incredibly erotic. Three years ago it would have destroyed me as a man.
So. Three years on. Cock is caged and impregnated with steel. I'm used as a kind of sex toy. I have less orgasms than I ever have. I do housework, look after the kids, spend less time with "The boys", drink less beer and I don't argue with my wife.
My confidence has grown, I have more self worth so I make more money. A lot more, and I work less hours. We holiday more, spend more time with the kids and have moved near to the beach.
Everything has changed.
I'm constantly reminded that I'm under the thumb or held by the balls. I serve, I worship. I'm proud and I'm loved.
I feel more A man now than I have felt my entire life.
Well said. I know I feel the same way Thanks for sharing
"My ED has gone. I realise it was never really there, it was all in my head, caused more by my needs, expectations, failures and doubts."
The quote feature isn't working right for me.
As an engineer, my scientific brain is wanting to test this some how - using male chastity cures ED.
I think it was psychological Ed which I belive is the most common type. I figured if a blue pill could get it up when aroused then it must be working right? In my case I think after 20 years of my pushing or guilt tripping to get sex it became obvious that I didn't deserve it and she didn't want it. I would get hard, have doubts and it would fail. This just got worse and the doubts had me fail before I was started.
These days it isn't a problem. I know she wants it. Because she let it out. She actually want lots of sex these days but my dick isn't necessarily a part of it. The introduction of the cage enabled my wife to experiment. Thus it so much more exciting.
I'm hard whenever it's needed.
So I realise I didn't have Ed to begin with.
That was certainly the case for me. When I separated from my ex after being married for 25 years, it was nine months before I found someone I was ready to consider being sexually active with. Even though my marriage had died years before, and I was happy to be starting life over again, I found that I had ED. I went to the doctor and got pills, but they only helped so much. It wasn’t until I had a signed separation agreement with my ex, with her written permission for me to pursue my own life as if I were single, that I was able to get an erection sufficient to engage in PIV. And it wasn’t until after my divorce decree was entered that I was finally able to come inside my girlfriend. I realized that the problem wasn’t physical. It was that I was used to being faithful for so long, even when I was in a loveless marriage, that my brain was overriding my penis.