Are Submissive men weak?

"are they not weak?" I think this is a miss-placed metaphor.  There is a connotation that 'weak', like being unable to lift 10 lbs (vs. 'strong' able to lift many more than 10 lbs), is bad.  Here 'weak' appears to be something not desired or not valued.  But seeing and reading the pegging blogs here, e.g. and elsewhere, i see no weakness in the sub or the dom or the male or the female.  I see, in a sense, an appropriate response to so much patriarchic wrongness, a response I can identify with.  It is hard to say how happy it makes me feel. (and yes, there is all sorts of mansplaining going on here in my post for which I am very sorry - but writing out helps me understand better - and there is some irony in manspaining to myself 🙂

Posted by: @subhubphx

First, let me say @Mstara that I appreciate your well thought out and realistic look at things. 

Just to point out that I didn't author any of the article except for the introductory first line. I don't want to take credit/ accept responsibility for the rest of the item 🙂 

Posted by: @mstara

Posted by: @subhubphx

First, let me say @Mstara that I appreciate your well thought out and realistic look at things. 

Just to point out that I didn't author any of the article except for the introductory first line. I don't want to take credit/ accept responsibility for the rest of the item 🙂 

OK, @mstara, fair enough.  I take back the praise for the content, and in its place heap double praise for sharing it.  I happen to thing you shared because it is reflective of how you feel.  So, that's well deserved CREDIT for sharing.  *smile   

There is no reason to look at it like there is responsibility for it.

Posted by: @happycuckold

I think that enforced chastity is a really sexy erotic game, similar to other forms of erotic power exchange.  I think the idea you express that a woman who controls a man’s access to orgasms controls his entire being is a sexy fantasy, but it is fantasy.  Not having an orgasm for a while doesn’t really have a big enough physiological effect to compel a man to worship and obey a woman.  We worship our wives because we want to.  It is sexually exciting and emotionally fulfilling to do so for a sexually submissive man, and the things they do to make us feel that they have power over us are sexy and fun.  That’s how I see it.

That works for me.

I would like to add my appreciation to Mstara for posting this, it has certainly sparked a lively debate. I think the quality, depth, and reflection of the comments should put to rest any notion that the men involved in this lifestyle are pushovers or debilitated.  

I believe we are limited by the accepted definition of submissive men. As others have said, I don't think a man has to be inherently submissive (as that term is commonly understood) to accept or desire the leadership of the woman in the relationship - although as others have pointed out, those of us, who seek these arrangements. sometimes have underlying desires or likes that correspond to a woman in charge, I say so what, if it is what both partners want.  

Rather than worry about what society thinks we are about, I say, let's keep showing our women the benefits of a woman lead relationship by being the best partner we can be and that includes making sure our women are pampered, loved, protected, and most importantly, obeyed as the head of our households. The secret that, those of us initiated in these relationships know (shhhh), is that we are much better and happier men for the dominant women in our lives.  

I loved this article - as someone who is very proud to be called submissive, much of what was written here really resonated with me. Essentially, being in both chastity and a FLR has made me into a much better person, more considerate, thoughtful and empathetic, and far more tuned into my wife’s needs and requirements. Thanks for posting Ms Tara!

Why is an emotionally available man considered weak but a strong man is one who shows no emotion at all? 

Posted by: @mstara

Thanks MsTara for posting the "Are submissive men weak?" article even if you're not able to claim credit for it - shame. I found it particularly interesting as in the main I consider myself to be very submissive, particularly around women but do not consider myself especially weak. After all, I eat three weetabix a day. I don't like confrontation but will hold my ground where I deem necessary. I've never had a problem with having a female boss at work and I find I get on better with women than I do with men. I think women often get a raw deal and was shocked on one occasion to learn of a female colleague who was being paid less than me for doing the same job so pushed and supported her into demanding equal pay. Women suffer glass ceilings, sexual harassment, are criticised for the clothes they wear and the list goes on.

I feel as though I conform to a lot of the attributes on the list but really that would be for others to judge. I'm happy enough being at the bottom of the pile - don't have to expend too much energy maintaining my status - but not walked over. However, item number 2 is a difficult area for me often causing problems. I was brought up to open doors, stand up when a woman enters the room, walk on the outside on a pavement, help put a coat on, etc., etc., quite simply just being polite. How many times though have I been accused of being patronising? Can't win 'em all.

p.s. Though not so new now, I like your new avatar - a strong woman, power dressed to kill (or eat men alive).

@soundsofdelight Well said but you can probably stop the walking on the outside of the pavement thing nowadays. We use to do that because people would empty their chamber pots outside of the window and it was polite for the man to get the chamber pot bath. 

@svengoolie The honest answer is that emotionally damaged women are attracted to emotionally damaged/abusive men who are like their father. 

@hapie Anyone who would use the women are physically weaker than men idea should look up female fitness trainers on youtube. Women have largely not valued being physically strong probably because men shame them for having large muscles, that it makes them look like a man. 

@lbp6855 

I suspect it probably originates from the days when the fairer sex were gallantly protected from getting their posh expensive garments being soaked by irresponsible horse-drawn carriage owners splashing through muddy puddles in the road. Don't think my meagre frame would be that good these days at protecting anyone from 40ton juggernaut lorries rampaging down the high street. I still find it difficult though not to put myself on the outside when walking down a road alongside a gal - and it has nothing to do about being sexist or macho.