How Do You Know If Your Man Masturbates Too Much?

I know I'm not the target group but I wanna comment anyway. I think this blog's great and I was into the flr101 site before it ghosted...

I'm 26 and I've dabbled in controlling ejaculations as a single guy. Do you think edging (masturbating without ejaculation) has value for single men, not just by self-teaching discipline, but also in the way of becoming magnetising to others to a degree(from the added sexual energy and hormones)? Yeah, that comes from the tantra/taoist influenced stuff, and some of that DOES seem silly/reaching to me. I'm coming at this from a different angle than retaining for the woman and the sake of the relationship, but that part of it appeals to me too, and I definitely want it to be partner-focused someday.

I certainly do. There is a level of confidence that comes with a guy who isn't being controlled by his ejaculations. If you are a redditor, there's a subreddit that focuses around magnetism that occurs. Check it out!

not sure how this fits in but starting about two months ago I am allowed numerous ruined ejaculations during a month.  My wife discovered This was a great pleasure of hers.  This actually seems to eliminate the downside of an orgasm as far as behavior changes.  From what I have read there is not a hormone crash when ejaculation is allowed but orgasm is denied.  We have found this practice greatly reduces my urges to masturbate.  I was allowed to go cageless because of this for a short while and did well on the honor system.  But as noted felt better caged so now am caged with an easy to pee model nearly fulltime.  Guess I am advocating this ruined orgasm practice as masturbation prevention.

I had suspected my husband was masturbating a lot by his low semen levels on some days. Plus some days he wasn’t into as much as other days. I could also tell if he had been edging to porn prior to us having sex (If I gave him a HJ or BJ) by the forceful spurts. When he brought the idea of Chastity to me, I wasn’t excited about it and didn’t understand it, but I read some articles he gave me, which got me interested enough to start my own researching the subject. I had read an article very similar to this and definitely became very suspicious. So i agreed to try it. When we got to lock ups of 4-5 days, I saw him going a little crazy for release and when I gave in, wow, the amount of semen was so much greater. Now I was pretty sure of the answer, but I asked him, telling him he better be truthful from what I’ve already seen and suspected. I thought at worse every other day or maybe 3 days. He answered at least once a day. Oh boy I thought, I’ve got a problem here that I need to control and break. I was a little hurt and angry and I asked him, OMG, what is wrong with you? I decided then, yes we are doing this and told him he better find a comfortable cage, as we would be working towards long term lock ups. I did do more reading and research and found out my man really wasn’t much different than other men. But he is now, after almost 5 years of 24/7 Chastity, that habit has been stopped. He says the habit hasn’t been broken as he still feels the constant urge, but it sure has been stopped. 
I am a believer in Chastity and love it. 

@hotwifeaz

Thanks for the insight into your wonderful life with your husband.  Do you mind if I ask ... Do you have  D/s relationship with your husband and if so, when he masturbates (or used) was he defying you by doing so?  I am an occasional wearer of a cage but my Wife has me in full time chastity, albeit on the honor system usually.  I am strictly prohibited from touching myself in any sexual way without her permission and while under her direct supervision.  Before we entered into our beautiful, loving Wife Led Marriage, I masturbate frequently.  Not daily, but frequently.

Because she has informed me that unauthorized masturbation is akin to cheating on her, I have masturbate without permission or supervision in 8 years.  I can't even imagine what would happen if I did.  Along with a bruised and sore bottom, it would alter our marriage and probably not in a good way.  

No, I didn’t have a rule not to, mainly because I did also, but my God, nothing close to him. Probably his 10 to my 1. Yes I was a little mad if I caught him and hurt, but not sure why. Most of the time my masturbating was to turn him on. If he wasn’t watching, I’d tell him about after. And I used to enjoy watching him do it. But that was way too much. Once the cage went on full time, he no longer was able to. Problem solved. When we got into the FLR, that’s when the discipline started. I wanted him to change personality wise some, be a better husband and submit to me. Spankings are a regular thing in our marriage now, but mostly maintenance spankings. The punishments are a lot less now. They work 

Posted by: @hotwifeaz

When we got into the FLR, that’s when the discipline started.

Yes!

My husband was a chronic mastubator, some days he could ejaculate as much as three or four times. It often came to light if in the evening I was horney but he'd turn me down or couldn't keep hard when it came to penetration. That was pretty upsetting when I realised what was happening. It also diminished my feeling of self worth knowing he'd rather use his hand instead of having sex with me.

Rather cruelly, and I don't know if it was related, he began to suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED) and so even if he hadn't masturbated he wasn't able to keep hard. Using the cage in those early days did have a noticeable effect on his ability to 'perform', but at that time we'd only use it for relatively short periods. These gradually became longer, and once he'd pretty much lost the ability to keep hard, this turned into almost full time. Sadly the ED issue hasn't fully gone away, on the odd times I unlock him it's a bit hit and miss if he stays hard and so the dido gets a fair bit of use whether he's locked or not.

We aren't in what I'd define as an FLR exactly and I don't use discipline at all as he doesn't get the opportunity to masturbate these days.

Posted by: @hotwifeaz

No, I didn’t have a rule not to, mainly because I did also, but my God, nothing close to him. Probably his 10 to my 1. Yes I was a little mad if I caught him and hurt, but not sure why. Most of the time my masturbating was to turn him on. If he wasn’t watching, I’d tell him about after. And I used to enjoy watching him do it. But that was way too much. Once the cage went on full time, he no longer was able to. Problem solved. When we got into the FLR, that’s when the discipline started. I wanted him to change personality wise some, be a better husband and submit to me. Spankings are a regular thing in our marriage now, but mostly maintenance spankings. The punishments are a lot less now. They work 

Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. I'd love to hear more about how you have combined spanking with chastity for your husband. When you decided to introduce spanking into your marriage who brought it up first? What changes in hubby have you seen since you started spanking him? 

Most males get in the masturbation habit when they are young and it continues after marriage. Most wives have no idea how often their husbands are doing it. It is a cycle that is hard to break.

We use male chastity to limit how often I do it. Wife says it is ok do it some, just not daily or every other day. I used do it about 3 times a week, wife knew I did some, but not how often. After I told her, she was shocked. I have cut down at her request and the use of a device part time. Now, it is total of about 5 times a month.

My wife partly figured out I was masturbating, she noticed at times, if we had sex, it took me a long time to finish and other times, not so long.

I keep my husband locked up around a month at a time now. So when he has screwed up big time, usually losing his temper with me, I’ll add another month on. He’s done 2 months a few times, 3 months once and 4 months once. A severe spanking (beating) will go along with it. For smaller infractions, I made up a point (swat) system for things I didn’t want him doing. Cursing, not asking permission to spend money or go somewhere, having to be told chores are being missed, yelling at the TV during sports, sarcastic or derogatory comments to me for a few examples. Swaths range from 25 to 50 after I give him his 40 swat maintenance spanking. And disrespect towards me is an unlimited beating. It will range around the 200 mark. It depends how I feel and my mood. And yes it has worked. Cursing is pretty resolved and chores are kept up very well. Asking permission is a norm for him now and his sarcasm is gone. So yes it has been an additional benefit and helped firm by arms up! I’ve attached a photo of one of his severe spankings. That was a little over 200 that day. 

@hotwifeaz

Wow - I am sure he was sorry after that one! Thank you for sharing the picture of you both. Is it normal for him to wear panties or are those specific to him being punished? 

When first married, I could masturbate daily and sometimes more than once a day. I could always have sex with rock hard erections and no trouble ejaculating. As years went by, I would only get semi erect or go soft or unable to climax. I made up excuses to my disappointed wife. One day she caught me in front of the computer with my pants down. My days of masturbating were soon to be a thing of the past. I finally admitted to what I had been doing and she decided to put an end to it. I was put on the honor system where she would randomly reach down my pants and see how fast and hard I got. My penis would give me away if I had been masturbating.  She also could tell if I took much longer than normal during sex. Most importantly she became very skilled at reading my reaction when she questioned me. I learned quickly to answer honestly since my punishment would be less severe. When it was apparent that I had broken my promise, I knew I would be getting a punishment spanking. The strategy worked wonders for our marriage.  

@norcalman --- thanks for sharing. How long has this arrangement been in place? Can you tell us more about your punishment spankings and how often you receive them?