My journey has been accelerating

Posted by: @allabouther

As for the Jail Bird, you have to use a padlock, right?  Does it ever make noise?

On the CB6000 we did have a padlock, which did make noise and was bulky.  We then started using the one time security tabs that much like what the electric company puts on the meters.  They have a unique number on them and once they are locked, if they are opened they cannot be locked again.  Much lighter.  Much less bulky and made zero noise. 

For the Jail Bird, we opted for the security screw.  It's like the lug-nut lock on cars in that it has a unique pattern that can only be unscrewed with a particular matching screw driver.  It's the slickest, cleanest way to lock it and there is no bulk whatsoever.

Posted by: @subhubphx

For the Jail Bird, we opted for the security screw.  It's like the lug-nut lock on cars in that it has a unique pattern that can only be unscrewed with a particular matching screw driver.  It's the slickest, cleanest way to lock it and there is no bulk whatsoever.

Just looked it up.  It does look like a far superior option.  Is your base ring round or oval?  I recall thinking that the round ring of my CB made a finding good fit very difficult. 

@allabouther It's oval.  I got both at first cuz I wasn't sure.  Oval is better!

Posted by: @subhubphx

It's oval.  I got both at first cuz I wasn't sure.  Oval is better!

Thanks.  And did you use the rubber rings to get the sizing for the cage and base ring right?

Posted by: @tincup

Patience Grasshopper.

LOL.  Yes, Master.

@allabouther no, I winged it and was lucky and got it right.

Male chastity came up naturally again last night and l learned that my fiancé’s thinking on the subject is continuing to evolve.

Here is the story.  I have changed the names to protect the guilty:  We were eating dinner and seemingly out of nowhere she said, “I have been thinking about it and I think Sam and Chloe have an FLR.”

”Really?  Remember I wondered about that myself to you a couple of months ago,” I replied.  ‘Why do you think so?”

My fiancé explained that at first she just would have said that Chloe “wears the pants” in the relationship, but now that she knows better how an FLR actually works she sees many things in the way they act together and in the way he answers questions that convince her that Chloe is more than just bossy.  It is apparent that that there is a formal arrangement that exists between Chloe and Sam where Chloe has all the control and, what’s more, Sam is “all in” for it.  She pointed out examples, and I agreed with each of them  I have felt for a long time that Sam and Chloe have a very formal, and obviously successful, FLR.

”I am sure she never allows him to cum without her permission,” I said. “I wonder if he wears a chastity cage for her?”

We agreed that we would casually look for signs of a cage under his slacks.

Later, in bed, my fiancé talked about how her control and power in our relationship has grown as our FLR has progressed.  We routinely do things now that she never would have thought she’d have been comfortable with, much less love doing, six months or a year ago.  Next thing I knew, we were talking about chastity again.  Almost as if she had planned it.

“I wonder if that might be something we’ll be trying five or ten years from now?” She said.

I asked, “If you’d enjoy it and like to try it, why would we wait 5 or 10 years to try it?”

”We’ll, I just mean sometime in the future.  I am still mulling it over.”

Mulling it over?

Three weeks ago, she immediately rejected the concept out of hand.  Just last week she admitted for the first time that the idea did give her a bit of a kinky thrill.  Now she’s mulling it over.

God I love this woman and the fact that she has taken control over me!

@allabouther   You're on your way my friend!

I just realized that I forgot to add context to my story about my Fiancé’s evolution.  After the conversation I described above, my fiancé put me in her mouth for several minutes and stroked me for several more to tease me.  Then she instructed me to “kiss my other lips slowly.”  After having about 5 rolling orgasms, she dozed for about 45 minutes in my arms.  Just as I was beginning to conclude that I would be denied for the night, she roused and began stroking me again.  She edged me numerous times and brought me to two ruined, and completely unsatisfying, “releases.”  They were not orgasm in any meaningful way, she just made the cum slowly dribble from my cock.  Finally, after about two hours of teasing me, she gave me permission to cum and brought me off with her hand.

Mind-blowing.  I actually asked her if she had been reading about how to tease a man and ruin his orgasms.  She said she hasn’t.  She just listens to me and watches my body.  I told her she has learned to play me like a virtuoso plays an instrument.

Posted by: @subhubphx

You're on your way my friend!

Given what I know about how my fiancé works up to things gradually, I think here is a good chance that I am on my way to chastity.  Her first impression of male chastity cages was that they were weird and kinky and are used to be mean and for intentionally inflicting abuse.  She has no interest in pain or abuse.  Now that she has learned that they are designed to be comfortable and knows that I would voluntarily do it for her, I can tell she is doing the mental work to personalize it.  She is trying to sort out if this is something two people could use to enhance loving intimacy between one person who is naturally inclined toward loving control and another person who is inclined toward loving dedication.  Once this clicks for her, and I think it certainly could, I can see her becoming a fan.  But she has to come to that conclusion in her own time.

But, I am always thinking ahead.  If she decides she wants to try it, I don’t want her first experience to reinforce any of her negative perceptions about pain and abuse.  I want her experience to be with something that she can see is obviously clean and comfortable.  This means I am going to have to go with a custom design like the Jail Bird, not a piece of junk like my old CB-3000.  I have gone to the Mature Metal website and see that the delivery time is 6 to 8 weeks.  With extra time to get the sizing right, it could take a very long time to give her any positive reinforcement if she decides she’s like to give it a try.  If she sees how expensive it will be and then have to wait two months to get one, I am afraid she will naturally adopt a negative mindset that will never be overcome.

So, I have decided that I am going to invest in saving some time so she gets positive reinforcement as quickly as possible.  I went ahead and ordered the Mature Metal sizing rings to help with the fit.  I have a good start because I can measure the rings and cage from my CB-3000.  The Jail Bird sizing rings should make it easy to dial in the correct diameters for the base ring and the cage.  I know that the metal case will need to be considerably shorter, too.

I will go ahead and have a suitable cage at the ready if she decides she wants to give it a try.

But I am concerned about the space between the base and the cage.  When I set the CB-3000 for 3/8 of an inch, the pain in my scrotum went way beyond uncomfortable to downright painful.  At 1/2 an inch, it was very comfortable, but because the CB is not rigid at all, one of my testicles slipped out which allowed the whole cage to come off.  Secure?  Not so much.

It looks like the Jail Bird, being stainless steel, is quiet rigid.  It also looks like the cage tapers away from the base ring to give a little more space.  Finally, I understand most people find the oval base ring more comfortable than the round ring.

Any advice @subhubphx?  On the one hand, I fear that a rigid 3/8 inch gap, even with a taper, is going to be too tight.  But, on the other hand, 1/2 inch with a taper, even if it is rigid, may not be secure.  In the interest of saving time, maybe I just bite the bullet and buy both.  I will definitely go for the security screw over the bulky and cumbersome lock.

I’d love your input.

@allabouther Sounds like things are moving right along in your journey to becoming a caged brother.  How exciting.

When it comes to sizing. that sort-of fine line between "secure" and comfortable was always my goal.  By "secure", I mean everything fitting snugly but not painful or even uncomfortable while not aroused, and yet nothing coming loose or free while flaccid in your smallest, loosest state.  Keep in mind, that a cage is supposed to be a little uncomfortable and snug when you are aroused.

Others might think of "secure" as being inescapable or some other variation to prevent from masturbating or sexual-touching access.  That was never a goal for us because even attempting such a thing without permission was prohibited.  Ms. K. felt that if I were going to break the rules, nd the only thing keeping me obedient was a cage or some other device, then she had no interest in a WLM because constantly monitoring me would be too much work.

My advice would be to NOT use anything that you feel while wearing a CB s a comparison to the Jail Bird.  The Jail Bird is just that superior.  Go with what you feel with the goal being that nothing can fall out or through when you are your most flaccid.  The nice thing about the custom fitted Jail Bird is that they will make adjustments for you if you measured incorrectly ... like I did when I first got mine.  For me the distance between the ring and cage was not an issue.  It's comfortable snug around the base of my balls and secure enough not to let aa ball slip through.

The measuring mistake I made was the size of the cage.  Like most men, I believed my cock was bigger than it is in it's most flaccid state.  I figured it was because there was enough sexual excitement when measuring that I never really was measuring my most flaccid size.  As a result, the cage had way too much room length wise ... which was very uncomfortable.  Once I swallowed my pride and had them readjust the length, the comfort level was through the roof good. 

It was trial and error in the beginning but well worth it!

Posted by: @subhubphx

Others might think of "secure" as being inescapable or some other variation to prevent from masturbating or sexual-touching access.  That was never a goal for us because even attempting such a thing without permission was prohibited. 

Exactly!  By secure, I mean the thing will stay on and not leave me in the awkward position of standing in court one day with one nut dangling out of the cage and the entire thing ready too fall off my package, drop down my pant leg, and fall onto the courtroom floor.  That could raise some eyebrows!

I don’t need a chastity cage to prevent me from masturbating.  I have been on the honor system for almost six months with precisely zero risk to our agreement that I will not cum without her permission.  I am interested in using a chastity device to increase my fiancé’s sexual excitement by boosting her control (being in control is her number 1 fantasy) of the thing that is literally most personal to me and to demonstrate the extent of my devotion to her and my commitment to her leadership.

It is purely a symbol for me (and, I think, will be for us) that we walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

I am learning however that looser does not equal more comfortable.  That is why I want to do everything I can to get the correct fit, not just stroke my ego by assuming I need the biggest.

From the beginning, the adoption of a formal FLR meant the kind of sex we were having in our lives would change.  Obviously, the decision that all sex for us is for her pleasure has had major implications.  Because I only have orgasms for her pleasure, she therefore owns all my orgasms.  Since solo masturbation by me brings her no pleasure, what used to be a daily, and often more frequent habit, hasn’t occurred at all in months.  No one will be surprised that the number and quality of her orgasms has significantly improved.

On May 1, 2022, I began tracking our activity to see how things were changing.  I started by trying to adapt he HabitShare app.  Then an online friend recommended the Nice app which is specifically designed to track sexual activity. Now that I have converted all my data, I have four months of really useful information on our sexual activities that provides deep insight into how my fiancé’s control over our sex life has revealed her preferences and changed the way we have sex.

Starting with the big picture, she is having many more orgasms; now more than 50 per month.  I love this statistic because her ex-husband didn’t manage to give her more than five orgasms in 25 years of marriage.  The ratio of orgasms is between 4-5 for her to each 1 that I am permitted.

The things I find most interesting, however, is how her preferences are emerging.  My fiancé is multi-orgasmic and has no trouble cumming from penetration, oral, or manual stimulation.  Since she can have whatever kind of pleasure she desires, she directs me to satisfy her whims as she has them.  Her most common choice, by far, is to have me go down on her and eat her out.  About one-third of the time she wants me to pleasure her with my fingers.  But she permits me to penetrate her with my penis less than 25% of the time.  When I am permitted inside her, it is rare that I am allowed a release inside her marvelous pussy.  Over the last four months, I have only been allowed to cum inside of her about twice per month.  About once every 90 days, she will instruct me to “take her” and act like the aggressor.  I should point out that even when she wants me to “take her” I am still required to ask for permission before I cum.

My releases are even more affected by our FLR.   I have been permitted to cum in her mouth zero times during the four month period I have been tracking data (in fact that hasn’t happened in over two years).  The most frequent way she permits me to cum for her is by masturbating me with her hand, and this is always after numerous edgings.  Approximately 23% of the time, she instructs me to jerk off for pleasure where I must strictly (and I mean strictly) follow her supervision.  I am only allowed to cum while penetrating her about 15% of the time.  One time in four (25% of the time), I am teased and denied any orgasm at all.  I may never cum without asking (or begging) for permission first and with receiving her express permission.

One activity is emerging as a trend.  More and more frequently, my fiancé is giving me ruined orgasms or forcing me to ruin them myself.

We both agree we are having the best sex of our lives.

Posted by: @allabouther

One activity is emerging as a trend.  More and more frequently, my fiancé is giving me ruined orgasms or forcing me to ruin them myself.

We both agree we are having the best sex of our lives.

 

I don't have data like that, but giving is a SWAG (Scientific Wild Ass Guess), I'd say that there are many similarities that would be revealed if I did have the data.  I'm sure most devoted, obedient husband would say the same.

I'm excited for you that ruined orgasms are emerging your life as a bigger and bigger thing.  Ms. K. and I happen to believe they are a Godsend.  There was a period of time (almost a year) where a ruined orgasm was the only was I was allowed to ejaculate.  Once Ms. K. was able to see that there was ZERO loss of my submissive behavior and desire for her, she ran with it.  

And yes, we were (and still are) having the best sex either of us could ever imagine!

Is it her birthday or mine?

Last night my fiancé and Queen came to stay with me for a couple of days.  Today is her 62^nd birthday.  Because she was up and at ‘em at 4:00 in the morning, she was ready for me to serve her and allow her to relax last evening.  I grilled her a simple meal and made sure her Aperol Spritz was never empty.  We watched her favorite cooking competition show on TV.  While she chatted with one of her daughters on the phone, I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.  By 9:00 she was ready to fold her tent, so we went up to the bedroom. 

It was a beautiful evening here in Virginia, so we opened the windows.  Because it was still a bit warm, she said she was going to sleep in the nude and told me to get naked too.  We climbed into bed and she put her head on my shoulder.  We shared some intimate conversation, but before either of us knew it she was asleep. 

At about 3:00 in the morning, we both woke up to use the bathroom.  Of course, she went first and was waiting for me in the spoon position when I came back to be.  I snuggled up behind her and whispered “Happy Birthday” in her ear.  I gently kissed her ear lobe, neck and shoulder.   She let out some quiet sighs and nuzzled her neck into my face.  After a few minutes, she rolled onto her back and asked me, “Have you ever made love to a 62-year-old woman before?”

I responded with my own question.  “Did you ever expect that at 62 years old you would have a man who do anything to sexually please you every morning, noon, and night?”

She giggled and said, “For most of my life, I figured I be finished having sex by the time I reached 62.  I never imagined I’d be having the best sex of life at 62.”

We kissed passionately for about 20 minutes and rolled further toward me to take a superior position over me.  I was clearly under her control.  She looked me in the eye and said, “I know it is one of your rules that you satisfy me first, but tonight I want to tease you.  I am going to take you to the bleeding edge.”  Since the sex we have is entirely her prerogative, there was no need for a response from me.  

"How long has it been since you have had a release?" she asked as she took me in her hand.

"You allowed me to cum on Tuesday morning.  So, three days,"  I said.

She respnded, "You cannot tell me exact hours and minutes?"

"I could, but I'm a bit distracted right now," I replied.

She stroked me for a while to make sure I was very aroused.  Then she rolled on top of me and told me to enter her.  I was hard as a rock.  Because of her superior position, she was in complete control of the pace and depth of my penetration.  She basically used my body to bring herself to a succession of seven orgasms.  I told her how special it made me feel to be able to make her so hot for me.

“It is not just your body,” she said.  “It is what’s in your head and heart, too.”  After her last orgasm, she collapsed on my chest and lay there for about five minutes, catching her breath.  Then she slid off me and back to my side.

Because she told me she wanted to tease me to the edge, I expected that it was her plan to denying me any release for the night.  So, I encouraged her to relax in her place of “bliss” and fall asleep on my shoulder.

Her response surprised me.  “I am in my state of bliss, but I haven’t really started teasing you, yet.”  She then took my member in her hand and started stroking me while kissing me passionately.  I figured I was still going to be denied, but that she was going to really heighten the teasing first.

She stoked me to the edge, and stopped when I warned her that I was getting close to orgasm.  She told me to “take over for a while” and masturbate for her.  After coming to edge two more times and being directed me to stop when I told her I was nearing the edge, she moved down the bed and took me into her mouth.

She brought me to the edge two more times before coming back up to my side.  She resumed stroking me, but rather than kissing me she asked to compare being in her mouth to being in her pussy.  When she has me in her total domination like this, there are no more secrets.  I will answer any question she asks me.  This is when I get into my deepest “sub-space.”  After answering her question, I started begging for permission to lick her pussy or give her more orgasms with my hand.

She said, “Stop thinking about me, I’ve had enough.”

I responded, “I am sorry.  I am so far gone I am being totally selfish.  I know you’ve had enough, but I selfishly want to bury my face in your pussy and make you scream.  Please forgive me.  I am desperate and would do anything to make you cum again.” 

“No,” she said sternly.  “Lie back.  I want to play with you.”

The frequency between edgings was getting closer and closer, so I concluded that she was going to end the teasing with a ruined orgasm.  In fact, when she took me to edge one more time, and I warned her that my orgasm was close, she did not stop.  Assuming she wanted to ruin it, I blurted out, “Oh, my God, I am there.  If you want to ruin it, you have to stop!”  She immediately let go of my penis.

“Do you see it starting to dribble out?” I asked, gasping.  I wanted to make sure she didn't miss her reward for an insane tease and denial session.

“Yes,” she said.  Then she started stroking again forcefully.  Suddenly, it was obvious that she intended to make me cum.  I had barely enough time to ask for permission before she could grant it and push me over the edge.

I erupted like a teenager, shooting three ropes of cum across my face and over my head.  As I came down from my orgasm, she wiped the cum from my face with her hand and messaged it into my now-shrinking penis.

She told me she loved me and rolled back over into the little spoon position.  I wrapped her in my arms and we were both fast asleep in minutes.

I cannot wait for tonight.  I am really going to pamper her for her birthday.  I have plans to show her a new level of submission to make her feel more like a Queen than ever before.